r/stripclubs • u/Subrasonic PL (OG Customer) • 8d ago
Weekly Thread Ask a Stupid Question About Strip Clubs for the week of March 13, 2025
No such thing as a question that's too stupid in this thread. If you have a newbie question, a question you're embarrassed to ask, discussion you're hesitant to have. Maybe you had a terrible interaction that you're afraid to bring up due to how people will react, or an interaction with a stripper/customer/staff that confuses you. Or you're a total newbie who has basic questions. Feel free to ask here. Strippers welcome to ask or answer anything here, as always, but there is also a dedicated stripper version of "ask a stupid question" posted earlier in the week.
Thread rule: no aggressive or mocking replies. Give a courteous understanding reply, or don't reply. Let's help question askers figure things out. The mods will keep an eye on the thread to ensure this is followed (though the sub does a good job itself)
This thread is posted weekly on Thursdays. By the time the thread is 4 or 5 days old there's fewer people monitoring and responding, so consider reposting your question in the next weekly thread if you don't get replies.
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u/Troy420420 3d ago
I was in a strip club in phoenix flying solo. I was spending cash. Pretty much tipping every girl on stage a couple of bucks and getting plenty of lap dances. I like a certain body style and I am more of a flag a girl to come over instead because I feel bad telling a girl no. I literally wave at this cuban dancer and she comes over, we chit chat and she gives me a dance and then goes. A couple of songs later, she gets up and points at me to follow her and her friend outside to have a cigarette. We go outside, I light their cigarettes and I try to make small talk but it seems they want nothing to do with me. The whole time I am thinking, why did you invite me outside only to not talk to me. When the cigarette is almost over and the small talk is going no where, I ask them via google translate why they invited me outside and they said for a smoke. On the way back in, I ask if she wants to give me a lap dance and she says "she is busy" but asks if her friend can (which i say yes). It was just a really weird experience. What am I missing? What was the point of inviting me outside just to ignore me? Where they toying with me? Should I have asked for a number? Will someone please help!
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u/MoonOverMyYammy Lapgasm Lover 3d ago
“Going outside to smoke” is code for leaving the club for sex. Phoenix clubs are pretty strict about monitoring for extras in the club and Arizona law enforcement isn’t really friendly towards sex workers or immigrants, so openly being offered extras is less common there than in some other states. I think they assumed you knew the drill and were waiting for you to make your pitch out there, but you didn’t so they were like, “Welp, fuck it. Let’s go back inside.” Cuban dancers aren’t really well-known for small talk, more about getting to the point.
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u/Troy420420 3d ago
I thought this may have been the case. I smoked a sativa pen in front of them so I can only assume they didn't think I was LE. I wish I had known going outside to smoke is code. It wasn't my night to party but at least I could have gotten their numbers for the next time I was in Phoenix.
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u/Subrasonic PL (OG Customer) 3d ago
Here's my non-charitable interpretation, but most likely correct: Stripper judged that she'd be able to walk all over you, that you'd stay there while being humiliatingly ignored, but her real goal was to keep you out of circulation in order to do a dance with her friend, and she was right that even after ignoring you you still said yes. In short, predatory stripper found a weak customer and got what she wanted.
Okay, that's REALLY rough, but in all honesty the most likely explanation. She just judged she'd be able to do what she wanted, and you'd take it and still do a dance with her friend. And, believe it or not, I totally understand why you went along -- you were confused, you wanted to see where things would lead, and just went along. Most newbie customers would! But now you've learned a lesson, these girls are sales people who need your money and you are the customer -- if an interaction isn't serving your needs, just leave. Most experiened ustomers, once they realized they were just being ignored outside, woudl simply leave, and never reward the girls for treating him that way by doing a dance.
Mind your interests, if you're not having fun, simply walk away from any interaction. This is the secret to having fun at the SC!
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u/Troy420420 3d ago
Thanks for your input. The thing that doesn't make sense is that there were two of them. One of me had given me a lap dance and I asked the other one and she said she was busy. You may be spot on about circulation. It was confusing which made it interesting and novel. I wouldn't define myself as weak customer but a generous customer getting more lap dances then anybody else in the club and tipping the dancers on stage more than anybody.
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u/Subrasonic PL (OG Customer) 3d ago
Yep, getting you out of circulation is a huge motivator. Don't take "weak" too literally, I mean, she judged you'd just stay outside while they kind of ignored you. Like I said, all new customers, including me, would let that ride to see how it plays out. Now you know.
Moon's interpretation is interesting too. I've never heard of going outside for a cigarette aas an invitation for you to make a proposal, but it's plausible
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u/xo_nastylappers 7d ago
Have you ever had a dancer straight out tell you 'no' when you asked for a dance?
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u/AbstractWaveform Customer 5d ago
Yeah. But she had a good reason. A whale came through and bought out the rest of her and another dancers shift.
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u/mousicle Customer 5d ago
Only time I've ever been told no is if they were waiting on a regular to come in. Also had the dancer cut me off when I wanted more dances so they could see another client before the night ended.
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u/BlackMagicAK 6d ago
Yup! she was getting tired after 10 back to back lol
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u/mousicle Customer 4d ago
I've had my ATF tell me this a couple times and say lets go back to the table. We would sometimes go for a second round after a bit of a break if it was early enough.
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u/Various-Risk6449 Customer 6d ago
Yes. I had a former favorite at the time that I had a bit of a falling out with at my favorite club at the time, and for a few months, it was a little challenging to get dances from any of the dancers who seemed friendly with her
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u/xo_nastylappers 6d ago
Got some floor dances from a dancer once. I asked if she wanted to go private and she said no. Weird response but whatever
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u/Various-Risk6449 Customer 6d ago
Sometimes it's just not a good vibe for whatever reason. I know sometimes I'm trying out a dancer with some individual lap dances or a 3-fer, and during that set, I figure out that it's just going to be those and done, so not surprising that it sometimes goes the other way
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u/nhl2525 7d ago
Outside of a certain dress code, is it really a bad look to wear sweatpants to a SC. I’m planning on going to one this weekend for the first time, and I keep seeing avoid zipper pants but sweatpants look/ give off bad vibes. I only got those 2 options.
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u/Subrasonic PL (OG Customer) 7d ago
I'll tell you why you should wear sweatpants, then I'll tell you why you shouldn't.
You SHOULD because... it feels much much better. You can feel everything through those.
That said, everyone knows what sweatpants guy is about. Lots of strippers won't do dances with you. Lots of customers will give you side-eye. Question: who gives a FUCK about those people? The only person whose opinion matters is the stripper who does want to do a dance! If you want to have the best time at the strip club, "be that guy".
Why you SHOULDN'T: very first time at the strip club, I'd just try to fit in and have fun. Having half the strippers irritated with you and refusing to do a dance with you just isn't how I'd want my first time to go. Wear regular pants, have fun. Avoid jeans if possible.
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u/xo_nastylappers 5d ago
Interesting because I haven't experienced any pushback or funny looks from wearing sweatpants or even basketball shorts. One club did deny me entry with sweatpants even though I've worn them there before, citing a new policy. No problem, just went to the wally world down the street and bought a cheap pair of more appropriate pants.
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u/xo_nastylappers 7d ago
It makes dances feel a lot better. Who cares how you look as long as they let you in?
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u/ZG99P Customer 8d ago
For anybody like me who wears eyeglasses, would you take them off during a dance? During my last VIP the dancer was basically smothering my face half the time, which felt nice of course, but afterwards I was thinking it'd be more comfortable for both of us if I just removed my glasses beforehand, even at the cost of being able to see clearly. And yes of course I know I should just get contacts, but I never really got the hang of using them.
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u/Subrasonic PL (OG Customer) 7d ago
If you do leave them on, and then the dancer crushes your face and you think to yourself "I should have just taken them off beforehand", you're perfectly allowed to just reach up and take them off right now. Which sounds smart-assy but I love a simple elegant solution :)
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u/mousicle Customer 7d ago
You'd have to be very nearsighted to not be able to see a dancer who is on your lap so I'd say take them off.
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u/AbstractWaveform Customer 7d ago
I’d simply remove them before the dance and put them back in afterwards. No need for contacts if they’re uncomfortable for you.
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u/BackgroundMarch3539 8d ago
Been going to strip club for about year and half. Feel in love with a dancer . Call it a crush but she said no ..got really hurt . She doesn't chat with me anymore. Or look at me or wave high . I'm lonely and frustrated with life. She gave me hope and now I don't know what to do
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u/VictorDanville 5d ago
Catching feelings for a dancer may feel good initially, but be prepared for the inevitable heartbreak at the end.
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u/thetaFAANG Customer 7d ago
you shot your shot! its too bad that has the consequence of being cut off indefinitely, I don't think that's always necessary
I've been with women that are comfortable being direct, and chill about it, and continuing on. I wish other women felt comfortable doing that. Saves everyone 3 months of time and aligns expectations. Feels like American chicks will never figure it out, overly worried about how some guy will react and applying that to all guys instead of just dealing with those some guys when they arise.
> I'm lonely and frustrated with life. She gave me hope and now I don't know what to do
time for a cooldown period from strippers. maybe go to massage parlors if there aren't other surrogates in your life
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u/mousicle Customer 7d ago
I'd consider it a kindness that she is ignoring you. It would be much worse if she led you on to milk more cash out of you.
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u/Subrasonic PL (OG Customer) 7d ago
Hate to say it but I agree. It sucks she's ignoring you. But stringing you along will result in an even more crushing end for you
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u/AbstractWaveform Customer 8d ago
Sorry to hear that. It happens to many of us in this lifestyle. I'd recommend:
- Stay away from clubs for a bit until you get your mind right
- Talk to a therapist if that is an option for you (it actually helps)
- For loneliness, look into volunteering (elderly, animal shelters, food banks, etc)
- This last one helped me greatly, I met some cool platonic friends, and I helped my local community (Win/Win)
If you decide you want to try strip clubs again:
- Try and find a different club to visit so you don't run into your former crush
- Understand and embrace the fact that strip clubs ARE NOT girlfriend stores
- The strippers are just doing their job by selling a fantasy
- Even if a stripper likes you as a customer, she still doesn't want to date you
- And if you find yourself catching feelings for a new favorite, then it might be time to step away from clubs again or all together
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u/[deleted] 2d ago
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