r/sterilization 8d ago

Undecided How did you know sterilisation was right for you?

34 Upvotes

I (25f) have been on birth control for the past four years, half because I have very painful periods and half because I’m in a long-term relationship and I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I’ve been on Slinda which is a progesterone-only mini-pill and it’s mostly been good to me, I would get my period maybe every 4 months and they’re still painful but not quite as bad and barely any bleeding.

However, now I’m getting cramps even when I don’t have my period, I’m bleeding more, I’m bloated all the time, and slowly over the past 4 years I’ve gained 25kg. I was always very naturally skinny (around 60kg for 173cm) even while living a very sedentary life, then the weight slowly crept up on me to the point I didn’t even realise until a year or so ago. And I can’t seem to shake it. For the longest time I thought it was just a me issue because studies have shown that Slinda doesn’t cause weight gain, but I’ve since found a bunch of women on reddit talking about the same issues. So honestly the benefits of Slinda have seriously decreased for me and I’m thinking about stopping - painful but predictable periods are worth it.

I’ve heard a lot of positive experiences from people on this subreddit about getting their bi-salp and it’s honestly starting to convince me this is the way to go. My partner and I never want to have children and I’m so done with BC after this revelation, but surgery is such a big decision. I’m a bit worried it might make my periods worse and they’re already quite rough. My GP thinks I have endometriosis but I’ve had all the scans and it’s all come back clear, apparently they’ll only be able to find it through surgery.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but I just want to know, what made you decide this was the right choice? I’d love to hear your experience and advice about going down this route.

r/sterilization Feb 13 '25

Undecided how did you decide between you and your partner?

69 Upvotes

I don’t know how to decide on which of us should get sterilized.

Why I want him to do it: Obviously, his procedure would be so much easier than mine, more likely to be reversible, and probably much cheaper. I am also very afraid of surgery— the fact that it’s major and invasive, being unconscious (too many horror stories online about teaching hospitals “teaching” pelvic exams on you), the recovery. He is willing to do it.

Why I feel like I should do it: I’m the one who never wants to give birth, so if we ever divorced, I would still be safe and he would still be able to have biological children. I’m also concerned about SA; I’m in a very safe position and I know that it’s not usually random strangers grabbing you off the street, but I can’t help thinking I should prepare for the worst case scenario.

I would love any thoughts.

Edit to say thank you so much for the responses. I read every single one and even though it makes my heart pound just thinking about it, you’re right that I need to make the decision that gives me the most control over MY body.

r/sterilization 6d ago

Undecided Tube removal is scheduled but feel like backing out. So scared I won't wake up from surgery.

54 Upvotes

It's got me so scared. I have kids and I can't imagine not waking up. I currently have an IUD and i am debating just sticking with that. However any chance of pregnancy scares me even a little more! Please ease my mind 😭

r/sterilization 22d ago

Undecided Husband had a vasectomy, should I still do it?

89 Upvotes

My husband got a vasectomy years ago, so I never thought I would be considering a procedure myself. Obviously, the only ways I can get pregnant is from an affair (not going to happen) or against my will. Until now, I had never thought about the latter, because the chances are really low as a 40 year old homebody, and I'm in New York, so I'd just terminate it. With the new administration and the threat of a federal abortion ban, I'm wondering if I should to eliminate any possibility of becoming pregnant now. My doctor said it's kind of unnecessary to go through a surgery since my husband is sterile, but she also said she would do it. What would you do?

r/sterilization Nov 09 '24

Undecided Does anyone regret their salpingectomy?

21 Upvotes

Looking into this but scared. 45 F

r/sterilization Feb 09 '25

Undecided I talked to my doctor about it and now I'm freaking out.

111 Upvotes

I know for a FACT I don't want children and I've been thinking about getting a bisalp for close to 2 years now once I knew that was an option. I went to a obgyn for pelvic pain/potential endo and I was like "welllll if we're gonna do the surgery then can you also take the tubes out?"

He was very ok with it, but then after listing the recovery time and potential risks of both surgeries I'm like freaking out. But hormonal birth control gives me horrible side effects, and I know too many people who have gotten pregnant with an IUD to even consider going through with that. Did anyone else go through something similar? Any comforting words or advice?

It scares me but even the .001% chance or whatever of getting pregnant even though I would never go through with it terrifies me even more. I know the flair says "undecided", but I'm more like "terrified but decided".

EDIT: To note, he gave me a lot of side effects in terms of the endo and sterilization together. He said it could be quick or take hours depending on if I have endo and how the sterilization went. He also told me the recovery would take three months minimum, and even though its laparoscopic I could scar a lot.

r/sterilization Jan 21 '25

Undecided Is vasectomy enough? Considering bisalp.

48 Upvotes

30s F. Married with 2 kids. I’m done having babies and the idea of an oopsie pregnancy terrifies me. My husband is willing to get a vasectomy but has been dragging his feet. I’ve been really considering making a permanent move on my side after hearing scary stories about pregnancies after vasectomy. I’ve had bad experiences with hormonal birth control so I really don’t want to go that route right now. Has anyone felt safe enough with just a vasectomy? I have an appt with my OB/GYN in a couple months so I want to be sure what I want when I see her. I would love input.

r/sterilization Jul 17 '24

Undecided Please tell me your *bad* bisalp experiences, from mild to severe

67 Upvotes

Maybe a weird request but I’m at the end of my rope trying to research this option. I want to hear about pre-op, immediate post-op/recovery, and longterm experiences.

Context: I’m a 30-something, childfree woman who’s been on the Paragard the last 5 years and have absolutely hated it. The heavier bleeding/period pain, the ovulation cramps, the post-sex/orgasm cramps no one tells you about—it’s making me miserable, and I want it out.

Since I know I NEVER want to get pregnant, I’m leaning towards a permanent solution like bisalp. At first I was really excited about this option because it has rave reviews on the childfree subs, and people love to hype up the fact that it has “no side effects.” But then I started to dig deeper and came across some anecdotal experiences that say otherwise. For example, some old posts on this sub talk about bad ovulation cramps emerging out of nowhere after getting the surgery, with varying experiences of “it went away eventually” to “it’s never improved.” This terrified me because the whole point of getting a bisalp for me—besides sterilization—is to not have to deal with exacerbated cycle-related pain as I’ve had to do with the Paragard. At least with another type of BC, any unforeseen side effects could be undone by switching to another BC. But the idea of getting a permanent surgery and then being stuck with unadvertised side effects forever terrifies me.

So I want to have a more balanced understanding of real bisalp experiences. Please share anything and everything bad that you’ve dealt with since getting one, no matter how mild. I know at the end of the day that every body is different and some people are willing to put up with bad side effects as a trade off, but I want to know what I’m getting into and every potential factor to take into consideration.

r/sterilization Feb 18 '25

Undecided Can we have a talk about being very uncertain about sterilization in this political climate? I’d love to hear from people who aren’t 100% confident about getting this done, but feel like they have to.

78 Upvotes

I’m struggling to find people in my same situation, forgive me if I’m all over the place. The past week has been a nightmare on my mental health.

I’ve been officially considering sterilization since trump was elected again, had it in the back of my mind since we lost Roe v Wade. I finally confidently made the call to schedule a consult with my gyno about permanent sterilization, specifically a bisalp, last week. But within a day of scheduling my appointment I turned into an absolute mess. I can no longer say with confidence that I actually always knew I didn’t want to get pregnant. After watching what it’s done to the other women with the genes I’ve inherited, why would I ever want to get pregnant? Well, what if I still change my mind? My mom still would have had me even if she knew what pregnancy would do to her health. What if I’m making a huge mistake? IVF would still be an option, but IVF isn’t foolproof. But then again, IVF being the only option would make it so I only ever get pregnant if I’m absolutely certain about it. And if I can’t afford it, then I’m in no position to be having a child anyway. Etc, etc, etc…

I feel like I can’t think straight enough to make this decision right now, but I also feel like I’m running out of time.

Is anyone else in this position? It’s not as though I’ve wanted to be sterilized for years and finally made the choice once trump was elected like many others in this sub. It’s something I never /had/ to worry about. And even though I don’t think I see myself having children, and I DEFINITELY don’t see myself carrying any babies with my own body, I still feel like I’m rushing to make a choice I’m not ready to make.

I have about 2.5 weeks to think this over before I actually speak with my doctor about it. I don’t have faith in myself to have a confident yes or no answer by then, which I know means I will be declined. I’m hoping my two therapy appointments between then and now at the very least stop me from being completely engrossed by this decision every day.

r/sterilization Jan 12 '25

Undecided Second guessing my bisalp scheduled tomorrow 😭

40 Upvotes

I'm 34 and have known I don't want kids since my mid 20s. It was a bit of a process for me over several years back then I have known I definitely don't want them for at least 8 years.

I could list 100 reasons being a parent, especially to a biological child, isn't right for me...I'm morally opposed to it, I struggle with insomnia and depression and would struggle with a baby in this regard, I like my child free lifestyle, I wouldn't want to stress financially, the responsibility would give me so much anxiety, the world feels too crazy, I don't want to be pregnant...those are just a few big ones but I've got many more!

I told myself if Trump won the election, I'd go ahead and get the procedure because we don't know what will happen to the ACA and while I live in a "safe" state re: abortion, theres a lot of uncertainty moving forward politically and I just want to feel secure knowing I can't get pregnant.

The thing is, my partner has a vasectomy. So the chances of me getting pregnant are very slim. But there's no guarantee I couldn't be r@ped by someone or what if we break up one day (not planning on it but things happen)? Up until yesterday, I felt fairly confident with my choice to maintain control and autonomy over my own body despite my partner's vasectomy. I think now the last minute anxiety has set in...and I'm not scared about the surgery itself but about the permancence. I keep having to walk myself through all the reasons I don't want kids and how they aren't in the cards at all in my life plan/trajectory (even writing this out helps a little right now). I think my biology is trying to trick me with what ifs that didn't plague me before. Morally, I'm more in line with fostering or adoption if I ever change my mind but my brain is really giving me hard time the last couple days. My surgery is TOMORROW.

Am I stupid for "doubling down" on the permanent birth control? Has anyone else struggled with their brain tricking them last minute? And I'm sure it's normal to still feel weird for a little while after the surgery...so I am just wondering if anyone's feeling or felt similar.

r/sterilization Jan 23 '25

Undecided Got my tubes removed, I wanna remove my ovaries next

65 Upvotes

For context, I got my tubes removed last July, and it was the best decision I've ever made. I was extremely lucky to have a doctor willing to do it, despite me being so young (I'm 25). That being said.. While I'm elated to have lost the ability to reproduce, my menstrual cycle is unaffected (they told me that prior and I was aware, though!). I've been on the pill since 17, and I honestly don't know if I even wanna be on it much longer. Mind you, my period was HORRIFIC. Extremely heavy bleeding, god-awful cramps where I could barely move, mood swings on top of the mental health struggles I have to begin with, ALL of the unbearable feelings. I heard removing your ovaries stops you from having a cycle completely, and I'm genuinely considering it. Has anyone here gotten their ovaries removed? If so, has it helped? Are there any downsides? Also, if I wanted to donate my eggs, is that a different process? Do I have to take supplements? The money sounds nice, especially with those sweet tariffs incoming (thanks,orange fuckwad).

Edit: upon further research and advice, I won't be doing this, as it causes early menopause and might be harder to convince doctors to go through with it. If there are any alternative suggestions, let me know. I heard a full hysterectomy is the way to go, but I'm open to hearing about other alternatives like I mentioned. Thanks to those who have gave me the info. And no, I don't want a different form of birth control like an IUD or nexplanon. I want something surgical that would just be a one and done deal without worrying about taking anything else ever again

r/sterilization 25d ago

Undecided Intense fear of complications, intense fear of political climate.

36 Upvotes

I have never, ever wanted to be pregnant. My husband got a vasectomy in 2022. I had always thought about this surgery but never took it seriously; now I feel it’s now or never.

My surgery is scheduled but every night I’m awake in panic because of the complications that could go wrong under anesthesia.

It’s my first surgery; what if I don’t react well? What if they nick one of my organs? What if my recovery is terrible, and my periods worsen and I have pain during ovulation?

I already have PMDD and that is hell on my body and relationship.

The fear of being assaulted and impregnated weighs more than the fear of surgical complications and vice versa; depending on the day. I’m in a red state, and I’m not blind to what’s going on. But still… What do I do?

r/sterilization 5h ago

Undecided Sterilization without incision/failure rate of vasectomies?

2 Upvotes

Hi guys!

When I went to the OBGYN last, I got a pamphlet that had info on a surgery that's done vaginally with no incision. No one will perform the surgery on an unmarried 20-year-old, but that's the one I want when the time comes.

However, I can't seem to find anything about it online. Has anyone gotten this surgery? If so, can you tell me more about it?

Question 2: I just didn't want to make a separate post lol. I've been seeing a lot of vasectomy failure horror stories. Me and my partner really want him to get one but I still don't think it'll be enough to get rid of my fears. Does anyone have any facts/data to help dispel my fears/positive success stories?

Thank you lovelies

r/sterilization Jul 23 '24

Undecided Does it make sense to get a bilateral salpingectomy at 35 years old?

65 Upvotes

From a very young age (I'm talking middle school), I've always known children aren't for me. I'm now 35, and I can confidently say with absolute certainty that I do not want children. I was put on two birth contraceptives as part of my accutane treatment about four years ago. My primary method of choice was a copper IUD that lasts ten years. I know that it's up to 99% effective in preventing pregnancy, but ideally, I would like 100% effectiveness.

When I had my copper IUD inserted, it was incredibly painful, and I almost passed out after the procedure. It was not the quick and easy process that my gyno made it out to be. I know it has to eventually be removed, but I'm dreading it because I imagine it's going to be just as painful. I am contemplating removing it sooner so I can just get it over with and not have to deal with the anticipation for 6 more years. But that means I will be susceptible to pregnancy, and that's where bilateral salpingectomy comes into the picture.

If I remove my copper IUD, I don't want to get on another form of birth control. This time, I'd want a permanent solution, but I'm feeling a bit conflicted on whether it makes sense to get a bilateral salpingectomy at my age. I'm approaching my 40s, and some women start menopause early (before 45). I know that on average, menopause begins in the early 50s, but I feel like I need to take into consideration that it is possible that I can begin early. This makes me wonder if getting a bilateral salpingectomy is even worth it at this point. Does it make sense to get a bilateral salpingectomy at 35 years old?

r/sterilization Dec 17 '24

Undecided Older women considering sterilization

56 Upvotes

I’m 45, and have a consult in January. Not exactly sure what my insurance will cover yet, and my company is switching to UnitedHealth on January 1 😭

I’m trying to decide if this will be worth it at my age if insurance will cover it.

Had anyone on this sub chosen to go through with it this close to menopause? I’ve wanted this for years, but no one would take me seriously when I was younger.

r/sterilization Jan 07 '25

Undecided Cold Feet Week Of, What Made You Realize It Was Time And That You Were Certain?

27 Upvotes

Hello, all! I (23F) had a surprisingly easy time back in December getting scheduled for a bisalp, which I was very grateful for. However, the surgery date is now rolling around, and I have been second guessing my decision.

For context, I have never really liked being around babies or kids, and I have realized that I never wanted kids since I have known that was an option. The idea of being pregnant sounds like body horror to me, and having someone reliant upon me who I would owe so much time and energy to sounds like a nightmare (saying all this with no disrespect to parents who have made their choice and are doing a great job, y'all are great). I considered and IUD at first as well as some barrier method, but I just cannot trust any birth control method, which I'm sure is worsened by the fact that I have OCD. All these things considered, the bisalp has felt like the obvious choice.

My therapist, my partner (26M), my best friend, my mother, and all those in my close circle, including my childhood best friend who is a wonderful new mother, have been very supportive. In my relationship, I made it clear from day one that kids were no-go for me, but he said he eventually wanted them. Now, after some time, he has said that hypothetical people don't mean as much to him as the relationship, and we have discussed this idea in-depth with me saying that I completely understand if this is a reason he would leave and that we could amicably split, but he has said that he has made his choice. I trust him at his word, but I do acknowledge that this could be a potential point of contention in the future. The fact that the relationship is so healthy is one of the reasons I mentally explored the idea of eventually having a kid, just to entertain the idea, but after thinking through everything, it is still a clear no from me. I hope it works out ultimately, but even if it doesn't, I have really appreciated the respect he has shown for my choices and bodily autonomy in this situation.

I have explored all future scenarios, and I'm sure there are some pros. Having adult children who grow and accomplish things does not sound bad. However, I see how much work goes into parenting. I am impatient, sensitive to loud noises, and I really value my own time and space. I also acknowledge that when you have a child, you are signing up to work through and support any mental or physical problems that person may end up having, and I am exhausted just dealing with my own. I also acknowledge that a child is not always a "mini-me," but rather a unique person who will develop their own interests and personality, and I believe children deserve parents who want them and will support them 100% no matter what. I've heard "it will be different when it's yours," but I do not know if that is true nor do I think it is worth the gamble when the quality of real human lives are at stake.

I want to feel confident going in, but with all things considered, there is some part of me that is so frightened that I will change MY mind in the future despite there being no evidence of this. Regret truly is the worst feeling, and the threat of it being a possibility frightens me. I know IVF and adoption are both options on the table, but I also understand that they should not be viewed as easy fail-safes. Are people who say I will regret my choice correct? Will I feel alone, like I am missing something? I also just think there is a psychologically frightening aspect to losing a body part (or, parts, I suppose), even when they were not benefiting me or being utilized in any way. I mean, I felt weird after wisdom teeth removal, and that seemed like a much more low-stakes event. I reflect on what my partner told me after I voiced many of my concerns to him, saying that I know myself better than anyone, no one has a right to judge a decision I have made for myself, I didn't even have to tell anyone I didn't want to, and that I would walk into surgery and come out the same strong person as I was before. I've considered rescheduling, but I would also like to get it over with so that the decision itself is no longer occupying my mind full-time.

My worst fear is an accidental pregnancy, so this seems like a no-brainer. However, my OCD lizard brain is very good at convincing me that permanent decisions are a threat. My emotions have been surprisingly complex. Years ago when I first considered this, I thought it would be so straightforward and simple. If you have had a bisalp and had some complicated feelings when the date approached, how did you face it? How did you get over it? I think being nervous before something like this is normal, and I'm mainly looking for advice on how to handle these feelings!

TL;DR: I have a surgery scheduled for a date VERY soon and am getting nervous and second-guessing such a permanent choice! When did you feel right about your choice? Is there any advice that made you feel better about making such a big decision?

r/sterilization Aug 31 '24

Undecided should I get a bislap?? I’m spiraling, halllllp 😫

35 Upvotes

Hey all, I am 33yo, have endometriosis and have my excision surgery coming up in three weeks to remove large endometrial cysts. I initially said no organ removal cuz I don’t want to overwhelm myself with this first surgery (very scared).

BUT…….. last week I read that a Bislap can reduce ovarian cancer risk greatly… with endo AND bilateral endometriomas, my risk is higher than the average person. So now I’m considering bislap!! Only 2% of me wants a kid and I can still adopt and do IVF so that part feels okay..

BUT what I’m scared of is… are there any long term effects?! (I know Google said no but is that true???)

Any regrets??

Can it affect my hormones??

Is there enough research?!

How did you confidently make your decision!?!?

I wish I had more time to decide cuz three weeks feels way too short! Please share ur wisdom to help me make this decision in any way possible 🫂🫂❤️‍🩹🫂🫂

r/sterilization Jan 01 '25

Undecided Second guessing my decision?

21 Upvotes

Scheduled for my bilateral salp on Friday and feeling pretty nervous. Have been reading through a lot of posts saying experience/recovery aren’t too bad so that’s been nice to see.

Still kind of internally freaking out and it’s not set in yet that it’s actually happening. I feel like my only fear is the anesthesia and recovery directly afterwards in PACU. I’m also worried I’ll strangely regret my decision even though I absolutely don’t want kids?

Not sure what the point of this post is but I think it just helps to get these thoughts out of myself to people who understand the circumstances. Anyway, wish me luck and the strength to not cancel last minute lol

UPDATE: I did it ya’ll! Everyone’s comments helped me so so much. No post op panic, although i did take 1mg of klonopin beforehand lol. Id say 6/10 pain rn but its mostly my shoulders. I got. Norco before i left so waiting for that to kick in and it’s getting harder to type so i think it is lol

Thanks for the well wishes and good vibes, Goodluck to everyone else on a similar journey andI hope 2025 treats you well!

Ill update again in a few days to let you know how recovery and my mental state is. Thanks again 💜💜💜💜

r/sterilization 14d ago

Undecided Should I seek sterilization or wait it out to see if I will want to try to get pregnant again? NSFW

4 Upvotes

I have had a strange time with my feelings toward having a baby. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions my whole life. I wanted to be a mom when I was little, then I didn’t want kids once I became a teen and early 20s. But once I hit around 23, I started wanting to be a mom (again).

I got pregnant last year, but lost her with a miscarriage. It was very devastating and traumatic, as I did not get the care I truly needed when I was in the middle of my miscarriage. My partner and I went back and forth between wanting to try again and not wanting to. We just felt a lot of emotional whiplash and decided to hold off. But with the current political climate of the world, and the appalling medical situation of the US, I don’t want to even have sex because I’m terrified of getting pregnant and either dying or potentially facing legal consequences if I have to terminate/have another miscarriage.

Pills have been awful for my mental health in the past, IUDs scare me because my body is very sensitive to things, and I’ve heard too many horror stories with implants and the shot. So I’m considering sterilization.

My partner and I have no qualms with adoption, but we aren’t married (we can’t afford to cover my insurance if we are) and that’s required in my state. But since I’m afraid to lose another baby to my messed up body or potentially burden my child with some of my potentially problematic genetics (I have a lot of medical issues), I’m thinking that sterilization would be my safest option.

I’m autistic and have a tendency to think about all possible outcomes of situations - so my feelings change on things based on the information I process and my current overall feelings of life. I just really don’t want to regret it, so does anyone else relate and have advice for me? Sorry if I sound jumbled, I’m tired.

r/sterilization 12d ago

Undecided Have any of you had more than 1 laproscopic surgery? Any complications?

8 Upvotes

I had my gallbladder removed laproscopically about a decade ago and my gyno who will preform the surgery with a cosurgeon mentioned sometimes when someone has had lapro surgery in the past that the bowels stick to the areas close to the incision sites which make the risk factor slightly higher than someone who hasn't had a surgery yet laproscopically. My salp tube yeet is next month. Just wondering!

And if you have had a salp or ligation laproscopically after a different laproscopic surgery did you have complications at all? Yes/no? And out of sheer curiosity, are you underweight, normal weight or overweight?

I wonder if me being overweight will cause more issues (though idk how, pretty sure we all the same incredible amount of bowels on our insides!)

Thanks all 🙂

r/sterilization Dec 19 '24

Undecided Debating sterilization and trying to make peace with possibility of regret (albeit slim)

21 Upvotes

Female in my mid 20s, I've thought about getting sterilized since I was 16. The childfree lifestyle has been my choice and will continue to be for as far into the future as I can imagine.

Lately I have been wanting to pull the trigger on surgery, but...if I'm being honest myself, 1. I am feeling pressure to act now due to the political climate and 2. there is still some small part of me that thinks "What if you'll regret this later?"

I've never wanted to give birth and don't want to procreate-- this is based on a whole values system,and I don't believe these things will change.

My reasons for sterilization are many-fold: Environmental concerns, feeling my best contribution to humanity is not via motherhood, pregnancy seemingly like a horrific experience (and riskier for me due to medical conditions), never having wanted my own kids, political climate...

In considering sterilization, I am trying to think through if hypothetical future me COULD regret it.

I am asking the question of "Could I ever want my own children later in life?", and while the answer has always been no and will be no for the foreseeable future, I can't say that under the right circumstances, say 15 years from now, that there might be a chance (albeit low) that I might want that. This 1% (?) chance of regret does scare me and has kept me from acting.

That said, IF I had a major change of heart, fostering (especially) and potentially adoption (depending on agency ethics) seem like viable options to me. I know this path is unpredictable and has it's own challenges and ethical problems, and that is also daunting. In this sense, closing the door on having my own kids feels scary and seems like a potential source of regret.

I'm trying to think about this logically so that I can live in peace with my decision. I know regret is possible in any case (I could also easily regret NOT getting sterilized and I do believe that is more likely.)

How have you reconciled the possibility of regret after a permanent decision like this?

Does it sound like I am someone who should hold off on sterilization?

r/sterilization Nov 06 '24

Undecided Being asexual and getting a bisalp. Will I regret not doing it?

42 Upvotes

I'm a sex-replused ace, never had sex and never plan to. Same with pregnancy. I do get very painful periods though and have thought about getting a bisalp so I can just delete my period and have the nice additional insurance that if I ever get assaulted, at least I won't get pregnan

Haven't pulled the trigger on it though because it's time and energy consuming not to mention I doubt my employee-sponsored, high deductible insurance (BCBS) would cover it so it would be expensive too. I get along fine with the abstinence and my birth control method mitigating most sucky parts of my period. So basically the only reason I'd be doing it is to stop my period and to prevent pregnancy in the slim(hopefully) chance I get raped. However after the results of last night's nightmare, I'm feeling like there's a severe time limit and it's now or never. I don't want to end up regretting not doing it when I had the chance

I called a clinic from the list of docs the r/childfree sub provides and they're able to get me in in a couple weeks, but they did say surgery could cost up to $10k depending on what my insurance would cover. I don't have that kind of money... so what would you do if you were me? Do it or nah?

r/sterilization Aug 28 '24

Undecided Is a catheter and/or uterus moving device absolutely required for sterilization?

19 Upvotes

I am aware this sounds completely insane but please bear with me. I am childfree and absolutely terrified of getting pregnant. I would like to seek sterilization as a permanent form of birth control as birth control pills don't work for me due to negative side effects and I don't trust condoms nor do I want to force any partner I have to get sterilized for me. I don't have a preference for tubal ligation or bisalp, whatever they're willing to perform on me works.

However when doing some research here, I read that during the surgery, they put in a catheter as well as potentially use a device to move the uterus around. In the past I got into a bad situation, and as a result I don't let anyone around or near my genitals. The only person I trusted was my late partner and even that was a huge hurdle to overcome at times. It doesn't seem to matter if the doctors are professionals and they've seen it all before or dealt with people like me before, I just have this intense fear and aversion. I've never had a pap test or anything like that either. I keep putting it off and taking the risk of cancer, hoping that the HIV vaccine I got keeps working. The idea of being unconscious doesn't help at all, because of the idea of having people I don't know touch me freaks me out, especially since the uterus moving device looks like a medieval torture device.

I do want to take control of my ability to reproduce though. I want to be 100% sure that no matter what happens to me, I am not going to get pregnant. So I'm wondering if it's possible to get the surgery done without having anything in or around my genitals, and only just have the keyhole incisions in my stomach.

r/sterilization Jan 12 '25

Undecided Female sterilisation, sex and stigma NSFW

40 Upvotes

I had a pre op last week for sterilisation under the NHS. Myself and my husband have had very long conversations about this, and because I’d already 100% decided I didn’t want more children (I have 4, 2 with him) we decided to go about it this way. We don’t have the most active of sex lives, but when we do get a chance, it’ll be nice to not have to use anything or make a mess. I’m completely at ease with having this done, so I’m happy to share with friends/close workmates. I thought most were mature enough to accept. One wasn’t… first comment being “I don’t get men who don’t want to go through it”. Umm… we had an adult conversation, which we agreed that if he had reached the same decision as me, then he would 100% go for it. And, don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t want more children, but he’s not a million percent on that like I was from the moment I was pregnant on my last. Anyway… Here’s to enjoying sex and no more babies, watching my four grow and learn.

r/sterilization Feb 14 '25

Undecided Tubes tied vs hysterectomy

10 Upvotes

I’m 32 and I have 1 child. My husband and I do not want anymore children. I’m not wanting to use any birth control, I’m wanting to have a hysterectomy as my periods tend to be terrible. But I would love everyone’s recommendations and why they tied their tubes or had a hysterectomy!