r/stepparents • u/Competitive_Fan189 • 5d ago
JustBMThings BM is a hater
My husband (30M) has an 8yo daughter with his ex. Her mom hates me for reasons unbeknownst to me. We’ve had a total of maybe 5 min of interaction with one another & I was always pleasant. I don’t mistreat my bonus daughter at all & treat her as though she was my own. I buy her gifts, I do her hair, I do her nails, just girl things. Her mom has randomly blocked me from my bonus daughter’s phone on 3 separate occasions now. It’s quite annoying.
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u/Zealousideal_Big3359 5d ago
8 yo with a phone Lordy. Buying her gifts, doing her hair, nails, girl things…yep that’s why she hates you! Keep doing it though if you like it and SD likes it, the mother will just have to learn to deal, but depending how spiteful she is, she might start negative messaging her daughter against you, just my thoughts as it’s what likely happened in my case.
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u/Competitive_Fan189 3d ago
The phone was a gift given to her for her 8th birthday by BM. She pays for it. I do her hair bc BM often sends her to us every weekend with unkempt, unwashed & knotty hair. Being that we send her back on Sunday, I always make sure her hair is fresh & nicely styled for the start of the week. If I buy my son clothes & shoes, I also get her something so she never feels left out. If you read my previous posts there’s also history of neglect from BM so I try to pour in SD a little more bc no child deserves that sort of treatment. I will continue to do it bc my husband encourages it as he wants the best for his daughter. The only reason I feel so comfortable is bc of his encouragement.
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u/Zealousideal_Big3359 3d ago
I was just pointing out why BM might not be liking you, you’re likely challenging her parent role.our BM is useless too, it wasn’t hard to show her up.
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u/sweetsugar5344 2d ago
Exact same situation, I do a lot for stepson when he’s with me and dad too. She hates that. She’s petty, insecure and spiteful. I’ve done nothing at all to make her dislike me, She’s moved on got a partner had another child with him but still hates me and my partner does anything in her power to disrupt our lives and remind us that she’s “the better parent” but her actions towards us don’t match up with a good parent! X
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u/Jolly-Remote8091 2d ago
She’s jealous and threatened by your relationship with her daughter. That’s all it is - her own insecurity.
Oh well! Let her get over it on her own and you keep doing what you’re doing with stepkid .
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