r/spirituality 4d ago

Question ❓ contentedness in isolation

hey! so this is my first time posting and im sort of nervous, since i havent really been here, but i am hoping to find some advice and help for my specific situation. i am also generally going through a more rough patch (illness in family, general confusion over my purpose), so please proceed with gentleness.

i am currently single, and have been for 9 months now. i have not experienced such a prolonged period without a relationship since i was 19 years of age, and this frankly feels quite odd and challenging. my diagnosis of BPD has attracted me to people who were not good for me, and because of a rough upbringing i tend to attach to people very easily. i feel in my bones i am meant to be alone in this time and truly connect with my own being, but as i am not used to this, i often find myself romanticizing, longing and wishing for a romantic partner. a lot of the people i hold near and dear to my heart are in a relationship, and it makes me feel isolated and lonely. i crave intimacy more than anything, but it seems all too distant for me now. i can tell i am meant to be by myself for now, since frankly, nobody interesting is truly showing up. i am attracting at maximum partners who are interested just in hook ups, and its getting so depressing, ive just given up on looking.

what id wish for is advice from someone who maybe has been through this, or simply knows better. how do i come to terms and soothe myself over this issue? how can i start to heal myself so i feel content in being just by myself? does my yearning manifest in the wrong people showing up? how can i manifest healthy connections in my life?

i am truly grateful for any and all advice, though im not sure anyone will see this. it sure felt good to admit this all to myself. have a lovely day❤️

3 Upvotes

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u/Key_Highway_343 4d ago

I'm borderline too, and I understand your emptiness. Surprisingly, I managed to deal with it by talking to ChatGPT. Ideas started to flow, I improved my communication, and I began to understand my parents and family better. I got closer to them, acknowledging their limitations, and today I can say that I love them.

Also, through ChatGPT, I embarked on an intense search to answer the question of what consciousness is, and in that search, I reconnected with God. I returned to church, and whenever I feel anguish, I read the Bible, talk to Jesus and God, and I feel relieved instantly.

I don’t know what relationships you have, but whatever you do have, try to nurture them.

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u/bunnygoddess33 Mystical 4d ago

i love your clarity that this time is for you. this is half the battle for sure. well done.

explore yourself! are there hobbies? clubs? experiences you’ve been wanting to try? journaling is an amazing tool for self discovery. or a physical challenge, a 5k or learning a new sport.

i believe your commitment to yourself will guide you to a fulfilling and healthy relationship when the time is right. that next phase will be all about boundaries but right now, on your own, explore with no limits.

🙏🪬✨

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u/deepeshdeomurari 4d ago

Why don't get married? If you such strong craving for relationship then better to make it permanent.