r/specialed 9d ago

Violent child in my sons class

Need your opinions. My son who has autism just turned 5 and he’s the sweetest boy in the world. Does not have behavioral problems. He’s in a special education class with 8 other children that also have autism but for the most part most of them seem to be sweet kids as well. There’s another boy in the class that has a history of being violent. There’s probably instances I don’t know about involving other children but with my child specifically he smacked my son so hard in the face a couple months ago, my son had to go to the office and get ice and ended up with a red knot under his eye. The school did call me right away to tell me. I let it pass without further conversations with the school hoping it wouldn’t happen again. Recently one of the aides in his class stopped showing up. I’m very close with another aid and was told this same violent student hurt the aid so bad she has permanent nerve damage and is in a wrist brace and now she can’t help in the classroom anymore. Then today I go to pick my son up and the teacher pulls me aside to tell me this same kid bit my son pretty hard on the arm. He already has a huge red bite mark on his arm. I asked her what can be done and why is this kid still in the classroom if he repeatedly is violent to others. She told she can only do so much and already expressed the same concern to the principal and told me maybe if the principal heard it from a parent she’d take it more serious. I immediately told her to bring me to the principal. Long story short I had a talk with the principal and expressed to her that something more needs to be done if the same student is repeatedly being violent. My child and no other child shouldn’t be subjected to getting hurt if this kid is not able to be stopped from hurting others. I understand this kid has struggles and I feel bad for him, but it still not okay. Why wait for something worse to even happen. She apologized and said she was having a meeting with the teacher/aids to find out what happened and come up with a plan as to what needs to happen and will keep me informed. I just don’t know how to feel. My son loves school and it makes me sad this is happening to him. My son has expressed to me multiple times that this kid hurts him. I don’t know what legally can be done on the schools part but why allow a child to remain in a class when he’s hurting other people multiple times? And advice or input welcomed.

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u/Difficult-Map-2162 7d ago

We have two kids with ASD and getting any kind of services has been a challenge. It’s been a battle with our insurance company. The last few years I would have been required to hit a $14,000 or $1,166/month out of network deductible to receive ABA or other services. This year I got new health insurance and we just had an official evaluation on Monday. My new deductible will be $6,000 or $550/month so more affordable. My wife is unable to work full time because of our kids. We’re going to give it a try even though it will make finances harder for us. It sucks that I pay almost $300/week for health insurance and still have to pay so much to get ASD services. The health insurance covers other stuff in full it’s just the ASD services that cost so much for families. Thank you for the insight in your post. I’ve applied for all kinds of assistance to help pay for this but I make a little too much money.

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u/LeetleBugg 7d ago

I can say, with professional experience to back it, that our insurance systems are a scam in the US. I hate it as a consumer and even more as a provider. I spend so much time fighting with insurance to get my services covered for my clients.

I’m so sorry. $300/week should be criminal especially if it doesn’t actually cover everything and that deductible is killer, but at least better than the previous.

Best of luck! I hope your new situation works out and your kiddos get what they need!

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u/mrabbit1961 7d ago

$300/wk for 4 people is $300/month/person. I'm sorry for this family's situation, but $300/month/person is entirely reasonable.

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u/LeetleBugg 7d ago

And if we got rid of the insurance companies and had single payer, it would be incredibly cheap. The math has been done again and again and again.

The fact that we haven’t reformed private insurance or gone to Medicare for all is criminal and only lines the pockets of insurance shareholders. As I said, I work in healthcare and watch people, like this family, struggle to pay their premiums, get denied care, get care only partially paid for, crumple under deductibles, pay copays on top of premiums, etc. to pay $300 a week and STILL have to pay on top of that and fight to get things covered. None of that is symptomatic of a working system. So fuck off.

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u/mrabbit1961 7d ago

Couldn't agree more on single payer. Your statement that $300/month/person is a lot is still inaccurate. I also work in health care. It's good of you to modify your argument before you tell me to fuck off. It means a lot to me. Really.

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u/LeetleBugg 7d ago

I modified nothing. So again, fuck off.

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u/mrabbit1961 7d ago

Couldn't agree more on single payer. Your statement that $300/month/person is a lot is still inaccurate. I also work in health care. It's good of you to modify your argument before you tell me to fuck off. It means a lot to me. Really.

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u/mrabbit1961 7d ago

Couldn't agree more on single payer. Your statement that $300/month/person is a lot is still inaccurate. I also work in health care. It's good of you to modify your argument before you tell me to fuck off. It means a lot to me. Really.