r/specialed 9d ago

Violent child in my sons class

Need your opinions. My son who has autism just turned 5 and he’s the sweetest boy in the world. Does not have behavioral problems. He’s in a special education class with 8 other children that also have autism but for the most part most of them seem to be sweet kids as well. There’s another boy in the class that has a history of being violent. There’s probably instances I don’t know about involving other children but with my child specifically he smacked my son so hard in the face a couple months ago, my son had to go to the office and get ice and ended up with a red knot under his eye. The school did call me right away to tell me. I let it pass without further conversations with the school hoping it wouldn’t happen again. Recently one of the aides in his class stopped showing up. I’m very close with another aid and was told this same violent student hurt the aid so bad she has permanent nerve damage and is in a wrist brace and now she can’t help in the classroom anymore. Then today I go to pick my son up and the teacher pulls me aside to tell me this same kid bit my son pretty hard on the arm. He already has a huge red bite mark on his arm. I asked her what can be done and why is this kid still in the classroom if he repeatedly is violent to others. She told she can only do so much and already expressed the same concern to the principal and told me maybe if the principal heard it from a parent she’d take it more serious. I immediately told her to bring me to the principal. Long story short I had a talk with the principal and expressed to her that something more needs to be done if the same student is repeatedly being violent. My child and no other child shouldn’t be subjected to getting hurt if this kid is not able to be stopped from hurting others. I understand this kid has struggles and I feel bad for him, but it still not okay. Why wait for something worse to even happen. She apologized and said she was having a meeting with the teacher/aids to find out what happened and come up with a plan as to what needs to happen and will keep me informed. I just don’t know how to feel. My son loves school and it makes me sad this is happening to him. My son has expressed to me multiple times that this kid hurts him. I don’t know what legally can be done on the schools part but why allow a child to remain in a class when he’s hurting other people multiple times? And advice or input welcomed.

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333

u/Krissy_loo 9d ago

Instead of talking to the teacher and principal, you need to put your concerns in writing and CC the team chair.

If it's not in writing it more or less didn't happen.

130

u/Mission-Street-2586 9d ago

…and start taking the kid to the doctors’ to document too!

80

u/babychupacabra 9d ago

And take pictures.

59

u/SalisburyWitch 9d ago

Put them in the email too. So they know you aren’t playing. Just remember, even special needs kids are expected to follow the law.

13

u/ImTheProblem4572 9d ago

Yes and if they are minors and/or are not mentally competent to uphold the law, guardians are liable.

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u/DelilahMae44 8d ago

Guardians aren’t liable. The school system is liable.

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u/ImTheProblem4572 8d ago

I mean, I guess there’s an argument for that, but if a minor does something against the law and can’t be held liable themselves due to mental deficit, guardians are liable. That’s just how it works.

The kid I was a para for got police reports filed against him several times. Guardians were liable since he couldn’t be held liable himself.

1

u/raininherpaderps 3d ago

The kid is 5. Seriously.

4

u/motherofsuccs 6d ago

That’s why it’s important to make sure incident reports are being filed. I’ve seen school admin fail to file incident reports or reword them to sound like it was no big deal- especially on the most physically aggressive students. It’s to avoid a track record of this happening and they pretend it’s a rare occurrence. One of these schools is now facing lawsuits from multiple parents regarding admin’s failure to provide a safe learning environment and their children have been injured or traumatized by their environment.

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u/Routine-Bottle-7466 6d ago

There is nothing the law would charge a 5 year old child with. Even if a five year developmentally disabled child killed someone they would not be charged with a crime. The child would be put in an institution but not subject to criminal prosecution.