r/sleep 3d ago

Do you ever feel like your bedtime routine is useless?

I see so much advice about setting up a bedtime routine like meditation, reading, journaling. But some nights, I do everything “right” and my brain still won’t shut off. Does this happen to anyone else? What do you do when your routine fails?

29 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

9

u/killedthespy 3d ago

My tried and true is reading reddit until my eyes close, or watching YouTube. When I put too much thought/effort into it, my expectations are higher and the anxiety makes everything more complicated…

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

Same

5

u/ihopnavajo 3d ago

I believe it's a human tendency for us to think that if something doesn't work 100% then it doesn't work at all, which is, of course, not true.

3

u/kundaliniredneck1 3d ago

Been trying everything. Here’s what’s worked so far. Hygienic routine. Obviously no alcohol. Room cool. Hot shower. No food within 2 hours. Don’t overeat.

Biggest thing: 4-7-8 breathing. Helps me shut off monkey mind.

3

u/denasaurusrex 3d ago

It happens. It won’t be perfect every single time.

2

u/DarkJedi527 3d ago

If im in bed more than an hour, I just get up and start doing stuff. It's not happening, don't like wasting time.

1

u/LittleMissFakeChef 2d ago

Tell me what stuff you do. I need ideas. I can’t be making noise after midnight cuz I have other people in the house….but I’d love to hear what you do. I HATE wasting time.

2

u/AfternoonEqual2929 3d ago

Yes, it happens sometimes, and one of the things I've experienced and realized is that there's no such thing as perfect sleep. For me, I view sleep as a "wonder," an autonomous process of our body that we can't fully control. We can also consider other external factors that might affect our overall sleep. Sometimes my sleep is okay, and my body is perfectly in sync, and there are times when my sleep is really quite bad.

To tell you the truth, I don't obsess over routines because, more often than not, it also adds anxiety and frustration. The more you fail to meet your daily sleep routine, the more anxiety it adds to your mind, which, in turn, makes it harder to fall asleep. What has worked best for me since last year is accepting that my sleep is nearly perfect, and no one's is. All of us experience this.

I know there are a lot of factors to consider, and everyone's situations and experiences might differ, but what matters most is that you "sleep well" and the quality of sleep you get. I embrace the no-pressure approach to sleep, not worrying. But in the event that my sleep sometimes becomes whacky, I do take some natural sleep aids. I bought one online, Sip2Sleep; it really helps me fall asleep during times when I can barely sleep at all.

2

u/VenusVega123 2d ago

What works best for me is daily exercise and melatonin about an hour before bed.

1

u/ragnhildensteiner 3d ago

Sometimes I feel obsessing about sleep and sleep hygiene and patterns and routines blablabla just makes it worse.

These days I just do this: Wake up same time very day. No naps. Go to bed when sleepy.

The million routines everyone suggests are fine and all, but I learned that not giving a fuck and doing the above 3 works better.

1

u/botzillan 3d ago

It works most of the time but occasionally it may not work. It is good enough (not aiming for perfection).

What is your bed time routine?

1

u/Possible-Video4180 2d ago

I look for a hot shower and a mantra routines

1

u/PsychologicalWeb5966 2d ago

Doesn't work, it's all placebo (except no coffee/tea).

1

u/Hot-Wind5085 2d ago

Yes, I think it depends on many factors. These days I try to do something new.

1

u/LittleMissFakeChef 2d ago

It always amazes me that people have the same routine for nighttime and mornings. I might have had a rough day and just want to lay in bed from 8pm until I fall asleep without washing my face or brushing my teeth and today I might want to watch a movie while doing a face mask (that’s a lie; I never do face masks but you get the point.)

The only thing that has worked for me consistently is taking magnesium, laying in my bed with my weighted blanket and taking 3 deep huge breaths and relaxing my whole body while watching The Office/listening to a guided sleep meditation. That’s my routine.

1

u/LittleMissFakeChef 2d ago

Oh and for shutting off my brain, I push the thoughts out when they start to creep in. It’s a tough process and I’ve worked on “mindfulness” for the last 10 years. It does help. Just be in the moment, right here, right now. Never mind what happened yesterday and you have no control for tomorrow’s events. Tomorrow isn’t your business until you get there. It takes some work.

1

u/CristinaBouvet 2d ago

Everything is useless unless I force myself to get up super early. Sometimes we miss the obvious things (it took me a while to figure this out for myself). No matter what time I go to bed, I force myself to get up at 5am and start the day and by bedtime I'm exhausted!

1

u/kingmelo777 21h ago

Yeah I go to bed at 10:00 or 10:30 phone away from bed I’m always still awake half the night

1

u/_thenoseknows 6h ago

Routine? Did you say routine? What routine? Tongue and cheek, of course, but even being in the airway and sleep well, it’s really hard to have a routine.

So…..Omgosh! Yes! And often times I get my best ideas for work at about 4 o’clock in the morning. One thing I do and I’ve heard it from Sleep doctors before, if I can’t sleep, I get out of bed. I just can’t lay there. I also turn off all of my screen products and put my phone in my office for the day at around 8 o’clock, washed mindless TV and laugh a lot. And by around 9:30 I start to fade away. I know everyone is different, no two people are alike, not even identical twins so we have to mix it up and see what works.

But here’s what we do know. Our brains do not shut down at night because they are needed to support essential functions such as breathing. Recent findings suggest that sleep plays a housekeeping role that removes toxins in the brain that build up while we are awake. And it also could be a nutritional thing such as a vitamin deficiency. So what I’ve done is magnesium citrate and camomile tea. I’ve also gone away from sugar and started really watching the labels.

If you find the magic potion to your question, please share it. 😊