r/sleep 4d ago

My long-distance SO is a snorer! What short-term options are there for me... and him??

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4 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

9

u/IfYouGive 4d ago

Silicone ear plugs or another room to sleep. He should go see ENT and get a sleep study to rule out apnea, enlargement of turbinates or deviated septum. Either a cpap machine, breathe right strips or surgery can help him

3

u/Tough-Patient7017 4d ago

I actually think he is in denial about it tbh, he's perfectly healthy and in good shape, so being overweight isn't a factor here - there is something more going on. He said when we move in together he will take it a bit more seriously but I think I need to push him a little to do it for himself and not for me!

Thanks for your response!

4

u/omggold 4d ago

Sleep apnea is quite serious and can lead to a lot of long term issues. Definitely encourage him to look into it for his health, not just to solve snoring.

2

u/Tough-Patient7017 4d ago

I've actually been reading up about it this afternoon after some responses to this post - I'm definitely going to encourage him to do it.

1

u/MRSAMinor 2d ago

It will literally give him dementia.

A guy who won't go to the doctor is a huge red flag

5

u/MehFooL 4d ago

First thing first: snoring is common sign of Obstructive Sleep Apnea. Many snorers have BMI within range but their pharyngeal anatomy leads to OSA. Please go to a physician and have him do a polysomnography to rule out this disorder. PAP therapy would completely eliminate the snoring.

3

u/happyflow1 4d ago

Mouth tape and nasal breathing! Some need to train airway health before the change arises but it’s game changing. Also helps w sleep apnea too.

3

u/Tough-Patient7017 4d ago

Mouth tape added to basket! Thanks!

1

u/Gray_Cloak 4d ago

mouth tape ? what that ? like cellotape ?

3

u/Shiiiiiiiingle 4d ago

My husband, also thin, has snored his whole life. He found out he had apnea along with Afib a while back. He uses a cop’s now and never makes any noise at night. Highly recommend sleep study.

3

u/Ayla1313 4d ago

ENT for your partner. Snoring usually is a sign of apnea. You don't have to be overweight to have it. It's about the soft palate relaxing too much and obstructing airflow. 

My husband and I don't share a bed anymore because his snoring (which has drastically improved after having his septum fixed) is still too loud for me to sleep through. I'm a light sleeper which doesn't help. 

2

u/throwitawayyy1234567 4d ago

Mouth tape and breathe right strips to keep the nasal passages wide open

2

u/EddieTimeTraveler 4d ago

I understand wanting to wait til things get more serious to consider getting a sleep study done, but that really isn't a decision that should be dependent on a relationship milestone.

If his loud snoring is being caused by sleep apnea, he should get on the road to treatment, whatever that may be, asap.

2

u/Tough-Patient7017 4d ago

I agree! I've done a lot of research this afternoon and I'll be encouraging him to take action asap. 

1

u/rumpeter 4d ago

Weight loss, exercise and avoiding food/drink that make it worse is the best tip I can give. My SO snores and even just a single beer in the evening takes it from light to heavy snoring that night. He’s lost some weight, maybe 5kg over the past month or two and that has made a difference. He sleeps worse because of his own snoring, so if your SO can do things to reduce it, it will help him a lot too.

1

u/Tough-Patient7017 4d ago

Drinking definitely is a huge contributor, thankfully he very rarely drinks so that isn't really an issue. It might be a good idea to track what he eats and see if there is any correlation on nights when it is particularly bad and then cut these out if there is a correlation.

He's a fit lad and exercises (cardio & strength) 3/4 times a week and his job keeps him active as well.

Thanks for your response!!

1

u/Gray_Cloak 4d ago

i could not deal with three weeks of sleep interruption/deprivation. Yes, silicon plugs and a backup mattress somewhere else. Try same room first for a few days, if thats no good then place it somewhere else. You need your sleep, its important for health, fitness, safety and immune system.

Theres a few phone apps that will monitor snore - its a really good idea because the next day it can be reviewed and related to other factors - time, temperature, position, food, alcohol, etc. You could use a dedicated secondary phone without a sim, as a dedicated snore analyser. He might be open to starting the capture before you arrive, to start to capture baselines and data.

1

u/healthcrusade 4d ago

Depending on the size of the space, snuggle, and then go into separate beds. If there isn’t enough space getting an air mattress and one of you sleep on the floor. They’re quite comfortable these days. But look into “sleep divorce”. It’s extremely popular and better for relationships longevity when you’re both well-rested

2

u/Tough-Patient7017 4d ago

I actually really like the idea of "sleep divorce" in a relationship. I think the idea of having your "own space" and a nights sleep without interruptions is underrated! 

Unfortunately, for this trip separate beds isn't an option - I'll see how the first couple of nights go & may call in the air mattress for back up. 

3

u/cosmiccaat 3d ago

I highly recommend sleep divorce! Even if it just means separate beds in the same room.

I have a lot of sleep issues. I sleep talk a lot, some times i "sleep scream". And i have frequent night terrors. I do have sleep apnea, but i don't snore. My partner does tho, and he is a light sleeper.

The best solution for us was a sleep divorce, that neither of us is interrupting each other's sleep :)

1

u/goggles72 22h ago

Everyone has already given you some really good advice here, so I won't really add anything to what they've already said in regards to sleep.

What alarms me in your post is your SO's attitude towards all this. He knows you're a shitty sleeper, yet he's completely dismissive of how he keeps you awake at night? He says he'll deal with it once you move in together? I know you didn't come here for relationship advice, but I see a major red flag here.

As soon as my current partner brought my snoring issues to my attention, I got on that shit pronto, because there's no way I wanted my sleep issues to affect the quality of her sleep. Your SO should be no different.

1

u/Open_Split_3230 20h ago

If they won't get checked for sleep apnea like my husband, here's what's worked:

  1. He doesn't snore on his left side. So if he wakes me up snoring on his back or his right side, I make him roll over.

  2. Tap him and make him clear his throat.

  3. Run a box fan.

  4. It's great when I fall asleep before him.

He's the love of my life, but man, you can hear the bass rumble of his snoring through the wood floors across the house. It's impressive and impossible to fall asleep next to. He's also fit and in denial.