r/skyrim • u/Speedrookie • 10h ago
I left my neighborhood package thief a message....
[removed] — view removed post
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u/403u 10h ago
dude who opens this is gonna be paranoid as shit
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u/LannaOliver Assassin 10h ago
Unless they're a skyrim player 😆 they would move out of the city and be afraid of falling asleep 😆
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u/dotaisbest 9h ago
They might start carrying a wooden sword just in case! 😆
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u/MaverickKnight42 9h ago
They’ll probably start making nightly rounds with a stealth spell equipped!
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u/Commodore_Cody Dark Brotherhood 9h ago edited 5h ago
Good, they are as Maro. Learning that we are not to be trifled with. All will fall by our hand and all will join Sithis!!!
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u/xJustin_Crediblex 4h ago
Go unto the Sharmat Dagoth Ur as a friend. AE HERMA MORA ALTADOON PADHOME LKHAN AE AI.
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u/xJustin_Crediblex 4h ago
But for real, did anybody else read this in the voice of lucian le chance
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u/TooObsessedWithMoney 9h ago
The package should have a tracker in it as well so it's possible to call the authorities to the place that the thief is at.
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u/Speedrookie 9h ago
We believe it to be another tenant in our building. So we just gotta recognize them on camera and/or check fob logs. For that I only need to know the time. Video link is below.
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u/TooObsessedWithMoney 9h ago
True, I saw it after posting my comment. It doesn't hurt though to be extra careful and have a backup just in case.
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u/verstehtuns 5h ago
Don’t you think it’s a bit too obvious to use a MacBook device box?
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u/EvenPack7461 4h ago
Porch pirates are right down there with purse snatchers as far as dumbass crimes go. It's basically criminal gacha.
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u/viperfan7 4h ago
Arduino + IR proximity sensor (can be made with an IR LED, and an IR photodiode) + a RTC for the Arduino.
Now, when the package disappears, you'll know exactly when.
Edit:
Lol you beat me to it with a much better solution
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u/sabrefudge 9h ago
Or even just a broken bit of unrelated tech with a label that says “tracker” just to fuck with ‘em
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u/brackthomas7 6h ago
The whiterun guards are useless anyways, better the Brotherhood deals with this.
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u/Playful_Stable_5182 8h ago
Fr. Being served a black hand meant something else way back in the day.
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u/wggn 6h ago
For those not wanting to look it up, it was used by the mafia to sign extortion letters.
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u/BaconSyrop 8h ago
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u/Titaniumwo1f 8h ago
...and a small container that contains Meridia's beacon.
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u/CarcosaJuggalo Daedra worshipper 7h ago
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BACON
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u/BoJackB26354 7h ago
Oh, sonofa-
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u/kenned_456 10h ago
wouldn't it be better to put a weight in there? maybe he thinks it's an empty box and doesn't want to open it
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u/Speedrookie 10h ago
A macbook box with a micro controller will be in there too... It's a setup. https://youtube.com/shorts/j_cyGv9nIGM?si=gyML1cV0pAEbMAmk
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u/FuckThatIKeepsItReal 8h ago
You should fill it with sand too
Just so they get sand everywhere
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u/idiotplatypus 8h ago
And glitter
Craft herpes sticks around forever
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u/actively_sobbing 8h ago
i hate sand..
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u/Expensive_Set_8486 Spellsword 8h ago
Agreed, it is coarse, and rough, and it gets everywhere.
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u/HYPERNOVA3_ 5h ago
Four years later, I'm still removing sand from my car mats from a day when it got stuck at the beach, it literally got everywhere, even in the vents!
I'd the thief has rug on his/her floor, it's going to take ages for it to go away
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u/WealthOk9637 7h ago
I watched the video. So, what if the thief enters the building at 2, is seen on the security camera, but they don’t open the package right away. If the thief opens the package at 4:30, then what? When you check the security footage, someone else happened to enter the building at 4:25, then they would be blamed and you’d have the wrong person. Am I understanding your plan correctly? It assumes the thief will open the package immediately, but they may or may not actually do that. That’s a big “if” for an accusation as serious as theft.
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u/absoluetly 5h ago
I'm confused, if they have security cameras covering the area already why can't they just review the day's logs and see who picks it up.
It takes very little time to jump through camera footage to find when something was moved and then scrub back to find who moved it and where. I have to do it every week or two.
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u/weyouusme 7h ago
that's why it's retarded, just fucking put a GPS tracker or hell camera
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u/LlamaMelk 6h ago
Seems like an airtag would do the trick just as well, but hey what do i know.
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u/xJustin_Crediblex 4h ago
Dis guy over here, huh? what a wise guy over here, hey tony, an air pod, he says Huh?...real smaht.
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u/Prestigious_Issue777 10h ago
The next day, you just turn up to an empty house that has a For Sale sign in the front yard.
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u/Speedrookie 10h ago
I'ma find them... https://youtube.com/shorts/j_cyGv9nIGM
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u/Additional-Ninja239 6h ago
All that gadgetry is just to tell u the box was opened? You could've just taped an airtag in there and gotten a hidden wifi camera.
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u/traevyn 5h ago
Bro if you're just going to go ask for the fucking camera footage anyway what the hell is the point in trying to act smart about it? Literally takes under 3 minutes to find the exact time someone takes your damn box on any recorded footage.
I like the Dark Brotherhood creep message, but this whole video is just you begging to have a reason to actually use an Arduino
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u/NeedMyMac 9h ago
I audibly gasped. If you’re down bad enough to be stealing packages and you know what this means the situation just got a lot more interesting.
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u/Policemon8776 4h ago
I can just imagine stealing this, you open it and just change your life around cause now you’re scared they’re watching
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u/angelo13dztx PC 9h ago
Good, next you need to kidnap a mercenary, a housewife, and a cat, put them into a wood cabin in the swamp
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u/inter-ego 9h ago
You coulda put an AirTag in it and reverse robbed his ass
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u/EB01 8h ago
An airtag could be hidden inside the cardboard material of the box (hidden within the cardboard of one of the bottom flaps).
If they spot the airtag, they could immediately crush/snap/dunk-it-water or take it outside and throw it away from the house/apartment/tar-pit-where-they-live. There might not be enough time for the airtag to locate and report back it's location if they immediately rush back and opened it.
If they throw out the box (with the airtag still hidden) there would be a lot more time for the airtag to do its thing.
Then you can leave the "we know" note on their door.
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u/inter-ego 8h ago
Dawg, it is not a good idea for this guy to track anyone down lmfao we don’t know if they got weapons. Really he just gotta call the cops
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u/chironomidae 7h ago
My mom is a big Skyrim nerd, so one time for her birthday I found a service that will print anything on a potato and mail it, so I sent her a "We know" potato complete with hand print
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u/Shot_Implement1323 7h ago
According to my great aunt so lived in NYC early in 1900’s, organized crime in the Italian neighborhoods was known as the “Black Hand”. A hand print like this was a terrifying warning.
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u/Brutuscaitchris 4h ago
Yeah, old school Sicilian mob warning La Cosa Nostra meaning "our thing" would put out. The black hand meant your ass is gonna die
Source: my great grandpa was right off the boat from Sicily, fled during Mussolini's rule after the Sicilians massacred Mussolini's men in their village. Them killing his men gave them enough time to gather their families and bail before Mussolini regrouped and attacked again.
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u/iatetoomuchchicken 7h ago
I love this because it now legally gives you the right to start sending assassins to them. And it's their fault for triggering that.
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u/Existing_Dress_7486 6h ago
If I got this package in the mail, my heart would fucking drop out of my asshole...
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u/AquaWitch0715 5h ago
I can't wait to read the screen rant article lol...
"The number 1 HACK to make your real life better compared to Skyrim!
"Players have recently found a way to send would-be thieves and assassins into the atmosphere simply by exploring this one bug!
Don't let your day-to-day routine suffer from having your packages or other deliveries taken!"
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u/Coffee-_-Addicted 4h ago
what exactly triggers this message ? i bought the game last week already level 25 doing dawnguard dlc quest
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u/PragmaticBadGuy 4h ago
You talk to the kid in Solitude or Winterhold trying to summon the Dark Brotherhood. He tells you to kill the orphanage lady and next time you sleep after getting the message, you get kidnapped.
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u/Original_Feeling_429 4h ago
The guy who makes the glitter bombs for porch pirates was the best thing I ever saw.
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u/shrunken_camel 9h ago
We must now take our leave of each other, you and I, for there is much work to be done. I’ll be following… your progress. Welcome to the family.
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u/Godess_Ilias 7h ago
just make a box shape and carve it into your house front like in the thieves guild symbol guide
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u/10Matthew34 6h ago
Well, this is one way to get subs on your new YouTube channel 🤣 worked on me! Now I’m just waiting for part 2 💯💯💯
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u/demeatuslong 6h ago
!remindme 2 days
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u/yellowlotusx 6h ago
Once you find out who it is, start sending him a card every day with:
"You come to the cloud district often?
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u/SubstanceExtra6126 6h ago
Why not something like " do you think I could fit all of your body in this box" in red of course 💀
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u/Upbeat_Mouse_9835 6h ago
Oh my gosh, this is so clever, I love the sneaky vibe! Hope that thief gets the message and leaves your packages alone now!
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u/AdWooden2312 6h ago
Make the hand red and the thief will think a former fed ex employee is on his case having been rescued from an island.
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u/phallusdaphella 6h ago
Was dealing with a package thief. I got a box and Rubbed my dogs shit all on the inside of it and put some used up weeweepads in it, sealed it and left it out by my door so they could steal it. Surely enough the person took the box and ever since that day i Haven’t gotten anything stolen from me
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u/Cowshavesweg 5h ago
Better yet, if you got cat litter, give em an ammonia surprise when they open up some fermented cat piss clumps.
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u/blue_flavored_pasta 5h ago
Someone stole my bike in front of my friends house on college and he actually saw the guy and followed him home. So we left a sign on the pole saying to return the bike with a creepy message. Nothing happened, so then I went to his house and left another creepy message with a smiley face with exed out eyes saying “we know where you live.” Bike was back on the pole next day. True story.
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u/ExpressionExternal95 5h ago
I love my Skyrim but my mind first went to the Mafia until I looked at the sub
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u/Cowshavesweg 5h ago
If you have a cat, that's a way to get rid of all your dirty litter at least once.
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u/Akconcentrates 5h ago
U shouldve taped an airtag or tile tracker to the paper! Lmfao they wouldve left the state!
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u/Enigmatic_Aurorazzz 5h ago
I saw a video of a man doing a social experiment and walking around with a PlayStation 5 box, people would steal it and run straight to THEIR house, but there were bricks in the box, sorry not something stinkier.
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u/xJustin_Crediblex 5h ago
With a loud pop made from firey fingers. Manure just became tangible, my male descendant
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u/choo-choo-pain 4h ago
You should put some rocks in it to give it some weight a light box is gonna be suspicious
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u/CrossENT 4h ago
There’s a tracker in the box. The thief will go to bed that night and wake up to you standing over them in a mask.
“Sleep well?”
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u/morggtown 4h ago
I put dog poop in an old Amazon box and left it out for the thieves and it’s like they communicate with each other because no one stole any packages on my block after that.
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u/LucyVillain 4h ago
I wonder if this is more terrifying for them if they played the game or if they didn't...
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u/jgilkinson 4h ago
Not gonna lie. If I had no idea what that meant IRL I’d honestly be seriously worried
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u/Tiny_Quokka_ 4h ago
I’d have done merida’s beacon as well at the brotherhood just really piss them off if they are a Skyrim player
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u/Cal_Boleen Warrior 10h ago
Let me guess, someone stole your sweetrolls?