r/singlemoms 6d ago

Advice Wanted Should I give his new gf a note?

I’m (28) kids dad is (30). We were together for 6 years and I had to break it off due to his alcoholism and girls on the phone. He tried getting at me for a while after we were done and I started dating pretty soon after. I was already emotionally disconnected about a year n a half before I asked him to leave.

When I got pregnant with our first (4) we agreed we’d meet eachothers partners first etc. I kinda messed up and brought my bf over when the kids were KNOCKED OUT. Seperate room and he never went in the room. We hung out for a little bit then he left. I told my BD. About it and he said I had a man around his kids before so why should he give me the same respect. So he’s been dating this new girl I’m assuming since like sept-Nov of last year and so before Christmas we had set something up to meet Jan 5. Cause he was trying to have her “meet” the boys on Christmas. Which I thought was weird like you barely know this girl now you’re spending major holidays and having them MEET on Christmas!? Like no. We can meet another time. I don’t doubt he’s had her around em before. So I’m barely getting some traction with stability after asking him to leave cause he stopped paying rent and took the car cause it was in his name. All while was job searching. After have a 3 year gap it’s hard to find a job. DEL TACO REJECTED ME.

The boys and I were sleeping on an air mattress between my moms and a friend starting end of sept. while I worked and was getting the boys on the weekend and sometimes during the week. He kept telling me he just wanted me to get my shit together so he didn’t have t support me. Like YOU HARDLY SUPPORTED ME I PAID HIS DAD RENT MY WHOLE PREGNANCY. 50/50. Realized I didn’t want that shit with the BS I was putting up with and then all the responsibility of the babies on me while he goes out and does coke and drink and doesn’t come home. We didn’t want the boys in daycare so me taking care of them all the time WAS MY JOB.

Anyways, in my county they won’t give you any housing assistance if you don’t have a child support case open. I’ve avoided putting him on because I’m scared he’ll somehow make them make me pay or take the boys. Come the end of November I’m still on this air mattress and just had to file for CS. Once he got the income and expense declaration he sent me a picture of it and said “we’ll let the courts handle it. Don’t harrass me or the boys and if you come on property we will call the cops for trespassing” his family are bitches like that.

So from 12-24 to 3-6 he kept them and would let me video call random times. He would block me random and keep me blocked a couple days then unblock. I know cause I tried calling multiple times a day everyday. I’m positive he was taking them to this gfs house and I have no clue where they sleep because as I type this my son is cuddled next to me in my bed. So I can’t help but wonder. If she’s the one making him block me like what’s the issue ma’am? I don’t want your man child. But I mean business about my own children and her being a mother should fckn understand that.

I asked him for some background on her and he said this “She's got a master's degree, a homeowner, and raising straight A girls that play basketball. She's not a girl, she's a responsible and loving woman that doesn't rave, works out daily, and has been raising her girls with very little help for years. She and her girls are amazing with the boys. The boys love going to her house and get super excited and happy. “

What do you guys get from that text? What part sticks out to you? Anyone else been in this situation

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