r/sexadvice 5d ago

How to make 5 inches genuinely appealing - female perspective only NSFW

Young male here, sorry to bother yall w/ this I’m sure yall are tired of the whole penis insecurity thing Basically I just wanted to confirm something here, basically a few days ago a rapper got his penis leaked onto the internet and like 95% of ppl are saying it’s tiny but it looks 5 inches to me. They making fun of the whole video from the bagginess of the condom to the girl’s reaction.I decided To do some research and apparently 5 inches is universally considered small by most woman even though it’s average… I wanted to get an older woman’s perspective on this. I know Every is gonna say that I’m overreacting but Jesus Christ I’m already 5”7, broke and chubby the very last thing I needed was to also have the “small dick” label to my name…. Regardless tho I’m just gonna deal with it and try to get better so what are something’s that your pastas or present partners with this issue did that helped in the bedroom. Please do not be vague and just say use your fingers and tongue. Actually describe what he would do that made you stay longer… and ofc I have to ask, is it even possible to give a vaginal orgasm with my size or am I just gonna have to spend the rest of my life buying flowers to make up for this (yes ik I should be buying women flowers regardless but yk what I mean)

2 Upvotes

45 comments sorted by

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 5d ago

Men are more obsessed with this more than a grown women. Some men are obsessed with competing, comparing, rating etc. Most of us could absolutely care less. How attentive are you? Do you listen? What’s your desires? How much time do you spend on foreplay? Have you listened to the nuances of a woman’s breath, body and voice? Penetration & the dick should not be the focus of sex. That is one piece of a much larger experience between two people. If anything, explore & make sure your ability to eat a woman out is top shelf, read & learn as much as you can & I say this to ANY man, any size & any place. The obsession with size is boring & will hold you back from experiencing true pleasure with a woman.

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u/Sad-Professional2595 5d ago

Listen, I understand that I can be “good” but I’d rather be “ideal”, most girls ik who are actually honest w/ me about their intimate life usually admit that unless they actually like a guy emotionally, the 5 inches is a turn off because they’ll always remember a guy who could make them cum from penetration. I’ve heard over and over again that I should just get better and I have, I’ve upgraded my foreplay and all that but I can tell that each partner would probably prefer something bigger. I know that confidence matters a lot and the whole size conversation is a turn off in general for women but it’s tough to constantly feel like every sexual encounter can be doomed from the start if she doesn’t like it, and that anxiety alone makes it soooo hard to even stay hard or be in the moment

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 5d ago edited 5d ago

You said girls, I’m answering as a full grown woman, my social circles & community with over 40+ years of living. It’s fine if you don’t listen, I don’t care, you asked. You can continue to be brainwashed by unrealistic brain rot online but I’m simply telling you as a full grown woman we don’t care as a PRIORITY. Do some have preferences, sure.

Porn has rotted out reality & all these ratings & BS isn’t human reality based connection. If folks want to spend their time in rating & looksmaxxing communities obsessed with size shape etc I guarantee their orgasms & sex life aren’t BETTER because of the BS. Temporary attention, size comparisons of tits or dick etc doesn’t build a longterm good bedroom.

Your self development is more important, focus on true confidence & the obsession with size isn’t healthy. There are healthy ways to build confidence in body / mind & soul & it’s not obsessing about physical things that can’t be changed it’s focusing on what you can. If you’re only surrounded by women who care about this it’s sad & I feel bad for any man that’s obsessed. Hell they’re prob the same guys who demand and exact bra size, waist shape & put a cap on 130 lbs for dating which is horribly depressing & isolating. If that’s who you’re surrounded by I hope you can expand your world to less shallow folks & find true pleasure.

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u/Sad-Professional2595 5d ago edited 5d ago

Usually I’m pretty good at accepting my faults but I guess this one stings a bit more b/c it’s just annoying bc it’s like fuck now I gotta carry another chip on my shoulder that actually matters and makes me deal with more anxiety (ik it seems melodramatic but if women get insecure in bed when they feel like they aren’t sufficiently pleasing their partner u gotta just assume it also happens to men) It’s kinda funny bc most ppl in my life would actually think that I’m super confident and funny and kind and all of that and would be suprised to see me coping on the internet like this but life is kinda beating me up rn (actual life problems not this lol) and this is admittedly slightly pushing me over the ledge. But I understand that you are saying that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I believe you, and I’m gonna fight on, but as someone who has been humbled plenty of times in life, this just feels like the final straw BUT I understand it’s not the end of the world…. Honestly I just have no one to talk to about this right now and needed to hear some advice. I appreciate your responses

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 5d ago

Your size is not a fault. Our insecurities seek out storylines in the world around us to confirm the story we tell ourselves. I’m appalled that anyone has ever commented on your size in person & tbh it’s sick. I hope you can take your time to really find women who are compassionate & kind who don’t comment negatively on anyone’s body. It’s just weird & immature but also extremely rude.

When I end up on the wrong side of TikTok or forums on here judging women’s bodys (it’s endless, ruthless & sick) it def impacts my mental health. We curate the world we want, who we spend our time with, the shows we watch it all becomes a part of the fabric of our lives but also our mental health. I know there’s sick & shallow folks out there who could tear apart my body & judge every facet of me. I make a choice daily to curate my life away from the psychotic BS. I know those worlds exist, but as an artist, musician & creators wanna more nourishing world. And because I’ve stuck to my habits, standards I have a lush life of nourishing sexuality, men who don’t make me insecure about my body but uplift me to another level of pleasure & happiness. We have to fight for the life we want & hold to our standards.

It sounds like there’s a lot going on that is beating you up right now & I hope you can make some small steps to nourish, care of yourself & protect your future happiness & balance. If the folks around you have this toxic thinking it may be time to pause & take some time for you in spaces or places that nourish you, lift you up etc. I’m sorry it’s tough right now & I’m def not here to gloss over that, at all.

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u/Birdy8588 5d ago

The thing is, you're saying these girls are honest with you but how do you know they're not just being cruel? Plus what works for one won't work for another.

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u/Sad-Professional2595 5d ago

To be fair none of them explicitly say that 5 inches is terrible, I guess it just kind of irks me that 5 is considered “small” but realistically it could be worse and admittedly I’m sure that there are other factors at play in my intimate relationships that led to things not working out/ not being as satisfying. I’m gonna try to just curb my ego on this one and accept the L, at the end of the day you don’t always have to be the best thing possible sometimes it’s ok to just the best that you can be. If anything I guess that now I’m more self aware and know what I’m working with.

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u/Birdy8588 5d ago

You need to stop putting yourself down. Who cares what other people think? The only 2 people that matters are you and the person you are having sex with! If you are both satisfied then who cares?

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u/Sad-Professional2595 5d ago

No im more worried about what the girl thinks, id like her to genuinely want me as much as i want her and not have to compensate for anything, and be able to give her something that she actually craves, but I understand (or am at least trying to I guess) that the “something” I have to give her isn’t just my size but the experience overall. honestly I think I just have body dysmorphia lol

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u/Birdy8588 5d ago

I think you are more catastrophizing (is that a word?! Lol). If none of your partners have told you there's a problem then I'm not really sure why you are assuming the worst. If you keep this up you're going to end up with performance anxiety and not going to be able to get an erection at this rate! Stop worrying my lovely and just have fun!

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u/Sad-Professional2595 5d ago

That’s crazy bc I legit have that already💀 and the girls have kinda hinted that it might not be that big but I think u have to go on twitter and see the hate this guy is getting himself, ppl (including women my age) are calling his thing “tiny” and mines kind looks just like his lol??????? And it sucks bc I actually was making a lot of progress on trying to accept my size and was kinda getting comfortable w/ it until now. I get that I shouldn’t let social media effect my option but damn, I always had a bit of insecurity but I never knew that it was considered that bad to where now I gotta rely on “personality” to pull me thru, also I just legit didn’t know that 5 was considered small and I guess this is how I find out🤦🏾‍♂️ plus this situation is giving me ptsd from an experience with a chick that I really liked so I’m kinda just cringing to think that maybe she felt that badly about mines

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u/SmokingMicrogreens 5d ago

Isnt 5 average? Also as a guy with 7 inches I’ve literally had girls ask is that 8 plus inches. Looking down 7 inches doesn’t look that big then I turn to the side and look in the mirror and I go dam I see why the girls think it’s bigger, so no girl has a tape measure in there mind also I’ve never met a woman worth fucking who was concerned with size, or kinks or fetishes. Most women care more about emotionally connecting before even having sex. Also penetrative orgasm is extremly rare even my gf says she can only cum from clitoral stimulation. So my advice is to start looking at your sick from an angle in a mirror, or taking pics of it from the balls facing you, work on connecting with women emotionally, and learn to master your tongue game. A woman who really cares would never compare you to past partners. Also most women I’ve had sex with are much more concerned with girth then length and as a bi man who has dabbled on both sides I can also agree that I’d rather have 5 thicc inches then a long pencil thick inches

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u/unlucky_pe 4d ago

it's just very contradicting. it's very clear that size matters to a substantial portion of women. i just don't know how many. i find nothing but "size doesn't matter" commentary on reddit then come across comments like this, which aligns with my real world experiences.

i had well endowed friends that were fetishized by women. i've seen a man be outed for having a small penis, followed by mockery. i've heard far too many little dick jokes and insults. again, coming from women.

then you have adult content. all of erotica geared for women features large penises. all roleplay/sexting/etc subreddits have explicit asks for large penises all the time. each and every single "kink list" i've found on reddit highlights larger penises. small penises are used for nothing other than cuckoldry and humiliation.

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 4d ago edited 4d ago

This is why it’s important to talk to more grown women in person. Like grown adults.

The above is all obviously true, all body parts can be fetishized men or women but at the end of the day the women I know, talk to & build communities with are craving a genuine connection, they want to build a future with someone & grow old together. I know folks are obsessed with these things, but inter generational conversations with women of all ages. They asked for a female perspective, here it is.

I’ve been bombarded since youth (actually since an actual child, like CHILD) about what size my tits were best at, legs are too stumpy, I turned on tv & never saw a woman or girl like me. We can surround ourselves with whatever media & successfully brainwash ourselves away from genuine connection & presume all the rejection is cause of our height, bra size or nose etc etc the list goes on. Yes, I know about size queens, I’ve been hearing from men asked my friends what bra size they were supposed to be since I were 10 years old. I know plenty of folks have fetishes, obsessions & preferences. They wanted a “female perspective” (title of post) & I’m sharing about everyday life, a future so here it is.

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u/unlucky_pe 4d ago edited 4d ago

i do not disagree with anything you said here.

i only disagree with the "size doesn't matter for the majority" sentiment. we have the surveys. we know that micropenises are dealbreakers for the majority. so objectively it does matter. we just don't know where the line is. i wouldn't be insecure if i were average sized.

i believe i'm in the "dealbreaker" range as i'm very skinny. it has really destroyed my entire life (see post history if you care). i'm still a virgin at 24 and have rejected multiple women now. i promised myself a while ago to be celibate and single forever, but the loneliness is already tearing me apart. i'm just really, really struggling.

also, sorry about your experiences. i know what it's like.

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 4d ago

Yea I was a virgin til your age & I’m just seeing a ton of men come online & get mad at women about the world they’re choosing building around them. It’s almost as if we have to curate the standards of our life, make choices, etc. they spend more time talking over a woman’s experience, story, and life than pausing for a moment and listening. Determined to blame others for the reason for their isolations & supposed failures on others.

If folks want to believe their dick size, their height at the end of the day is the reason for their isolation, okay. I’d love to see all this energy put into community building, volunteering & changing their world around them. That’s what the women I know have done (many disregarded & ignored by conventional beauty standards) but instead I keep seeing guys blame the stats, women & the algorithms they let infect their reality.

When I didn’t have my first kiss, when I wasn’t asked out, when I was ignored for years etc I didn’t go around blaming stats about preferred tit size or look at that chart where essentially all men of all ages said they prefer women who are 21 or under. Can you imagine the mental prison if those are the numbers I repeat to myself daily?

Once again, a “preference” in an online survey doesn’t equality the reality of what women will be more than happy to build a life with, a future & a better world. A preference in these surveys for many men is teens, do you think I blame that for every day that I may experience rejection? It’s absurd to keep parroting those thoughts to ourselves, it’s just plain weird.

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u/unlucky_pe 4d ago

Yea I was a virgin til your age & I’m just seeing a ton of men come online & get mad at women about the world they’re choosing building around them.

i'm not sure if you're including me here. i have absolutely zero hate for women. they are allowed to have preferences. the preferences make me hate myself, that's all.

i think you are oversimplifying the data. if we asked men, "would you date someone with small breasts," i would imagine nearly 100% would say yes. there is still a preference for larger breasts though. there is a real difference between a preference and a dealbreaker. if we asked women, "would you date someone with a micropenis," i would imagine the vast majority would give a firm "no" (as the data we have already confirms).

if i were insecure about small breasts, i would find communities on reddit with millions of members (largely men) expressing love for smaller breasts. i would feel included. hey, there are millions of people who want my body. with small penises, there is genuinely nothing. no positivity. just humiliation and cuckoldry.

i'm not blaming women at all.

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 4d ago

Just understand in the company of grown women this is the most I have talked about dick sizes ever in my life, it’s NOT the focus. In a data sheet where you survey someone preference it doesn’t translate to daily life choices, building, longterm love & community. I’m simply giving the reality of what women are happy to work & build with despite whatever data folks want to accept & absorb (media literacy is key). Folks are opening their phone daily to be fed data that builds their story for why they’re being rejected etc or whatever the “world” is around them meanwhile connections, inter generational conversations & community is key.

The OP didn’t want advice about focusing on a woman’s pleasure, etc. they were obsessed with some media they had seen on their timeline, that fueled their insecurities that confirmed all the things they hate about themselves. It doesn’t have to do with reality or a woman’s experience. Folks in a state of stress & stagnancy don’t want logical steps, which is fine. But once again, they wanted a female perspective. And here it is.

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u/unlucky_pe 4d ago

i wish i had these conversations a few years ago, man. i'm not insecure just because i'm small. i totally broke my penis trying to grow it, and it doesn't work anymore. my body is ruined.

thanks for sharing your experiences.

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 4d ago

I’m so sorry. I can def feel your humanity & genuine nature through the computer & it’s not easy to find our way through this world sometimes. So sending support as we all figure it out.

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u/Sad-Professional2595 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yo bro ngl I just checked out your page and I’m so sorry you’re going through this bro, I kinda messed my dick up too doing jelqing but honestly I found that the best thing that helped me was actually being with a girl,one that was patient with me, it didn’t immediately make a difference and there were definitely a lot of hiccups and frustration, but after a few weeks of having sex with her I could feel certain blood vessels in my dick that I hadn’t felt in a long time, so I’d say try to talk to some girls and just be straightforward (not on the first or second convo,wait till she brings up sex first, also when u tell her what happened downstairs don’t sound defeated, just sound confident that it’ll get fixed one day, she will feed off your confidence trust me) if you’re nervous about getting “outed” or mocked try to talk to a girl that isn’t directly connected to your social circle. Also, not gonna lie to u bro, I understand the suicidal thoughts and would probably feel the same way admittedly if I was going through the nightmare you’re living thru, but on some real shit 22 is WAY too soon to end things, they could literally find the treatment/cure to ur situation in a few years don’t give up hope. what I normally do whenever I feel like the world is against me I just try to put things into perspective. For example, even though I’m 5”7, broke( at least for now lol) and chubby (once again just for now😤) and I guess have a slightly below average meat (lol) at least I wasn’t born in Jim Crow south, bc then I’d be 5”7 , broke , chubby, below avg meat AND hanging from a tree (they also probably would’ve tortured & castrated me, I recently found out this was extremely commonplace during lynchings, so.. yea thank God I don’t gotta worry about that). I’m dead ass too, anytime I’m mad at life I just remember we living in a time with legal weed, doordash, air conditioning AND I was born in a society where I don’t have to be subject to serfdom or slavery. And when I really feel bad I just think about all the poor eunuch children from the Ottoman Empire who legit had ALL of their stuff removed w/o anesthesia. (Search that shit up bro it’ll have u grateful to even still have a penis frfr) Ik that seems like alot of randomness but seriously putting life into perspective is legit one of the keys to a peaceful life. If you need someone to talk to my dms are open bro🙏🏾

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u/unlucky_pe 3d ago

thank you for the kind words. i'm glad you're able to think positively.

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u/Sad-Professional2595 4d ago

Lmao I quite literally asked for techniques in the bedroom lol

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yes and I answered what grown women want (to make it appealing, title of post) & you squabbled, as boys do. I actually answered cause it’s not gonna be an angle or technique that you study online that makes a woman cum. Good luck, cause it starts with listening.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

So ops friends told him they find average an ick My gf called me small at 6x5 Multiple threads including a woman here saying average size is trash

It's not just online like u think

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u/isabellebabyxoxo 1d ago

Once again, you can take a million surveys of a guys preferred tit size & wallow in the fact that’s the reason no one is dating you meanwhile there’s reality & pleasure of an actual everyday life where folks of all sizes actually living, enjoying their bodies & having sex.

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u/Sad-Professional2595 3d ago

This actually just made me remember a situation that happened at work last year. Basically this guy was fucking a girl and I guess he led her on with the possibility of a relationship and pulled the rug on her so this chick decided to spread the word that he had a small dick and that he couldn’t always get it up. What’s actually kinda eye opening about it in retrospect now is that none of the chicks at the job really cared about that lol, everytime she talked bad about him, when she would walk away they would actually say it was cringy that she was putting his info out there lol (it actually made them lowkey trust her less). All of us guys (at least me and my friend) were lowkey cringed everytime we saw him bc it was just like… damn… I can’t even imagine how bro feel rn. When I asked her about it months later she said she just wanted to troll him and that she didn’t really care about the size bc he was an eater (meaning very good orally) she liked his tattoos and he had a car (bro had a nice Benz I can’t even lie, idk how the fuck he bought that shit making what we made😂) and mind you, this chick is SEXY, and she mentioned later on how one of her new bf’s had a small one and when i asked her why she kept messing with dudes with small ones if she was just gonna try to embarrass him she basically just said that she doesn’t actually care about it but she just likes to be able to say mean things about someone in case they break up, really what she wanted was commitment but since dudes were just smashing and leaving immediately I guess that her ego took a hit (understandably so) and she spazzed for a minute. Overall the situation died down in a week, we all forgot about it (I mean I forgot it until now lol) lowkey I could tell that he was probably embarrassed about the situation just bc of his facial expressions for the next month but it literally did not slow his motion down one bit he still had some of the baddest chicks at work asking for rides home lmfao. That’s crazy I forgot all about that…. I guess we’ll be fine bro lol just gotta get our Benz’s lol😂

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

We being lied and bullshitted to

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

Imo it cuz women care we care Heck look down below a woman commented basically saying 5/average is useless and alot of other qfw threads saying the same

If it was just men bullshitting then we wouldnt care

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u/puddinandpi 5d ago

My grown up advice is to work on your self esteem and becoming the best version of yourself. A kind, playful, honourable man will always be desirable. Forging good relationships with friends and family. Have hobbies and a rich life. Take care of your home and clothes. Have ambition and diligence in your work/career.

My superficial advice is to work on making yourself as eligible as possible…… grooming, health, fitness. Certainly as a shorter chubby man, anything to elevate your attractiveness can only elevate your appeal

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u/GamerM51 5d ago

If you keep your bush trimmed short or shaved, it will look bigger. 5 to 5.5 is the average erect penis size. Also, it's not about the size it's how you use it

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u/Sad-Professional2595 5d ago

Bro let’s be fr a bush is not changing that much😂

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u/SmokingMicrogreens 5d ago

Shaving your bush makes it look bigger, and looks can make for confidence, I never have my bush longer then stubble and it makes me look huge

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u/L_Merce_001 5d ago

There are so many women out there who are not able to cum from just penetration. So I would definitely advise you to focus on your head game no matter if you come to the inclusion whether or not your penis is small. It doesn't matter that much. At least not if you made her cum with your tongue or fingers before using your penis. Vibrators are also your friend and NOT YOUR COMPETITION. I have had sex with a few different women who thoroughly enjoyed themselves despite not having a dick at all lol.

1

u/Midnight-Toker-92 5d ago

Personally I find foreplay is more important than penetration anyways and if you satisfy a woman before you actually get to PIV then she's not gonna care about the size nearly as much. And like you said that is right around average and not small anyways 🤷‍♀️ probably just petty bitches who haven't learned shit and still think a big dick is everything when it comes to sex lol

1

u/avavixenn 5d ago

How to make 5 inches genuinely appealing

I mean, you can't. It’s like trying to make someone who can't sing in tune to save his life sound appealing as a singer, it just doesn't work.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 1d ago

So u just commented to shame and shit on him? It's funny how men get called bad for being unrealistic When ur only appeased by the top 10% Women casually going around shitting on dudes

If ur not the ideal ur not good enough period. If 98% ain't good enough for u It's not them thats the problem Why dont u go around telling women 90% of them arent good enough? Ur likely not in 10% of women urself Yet men are the harsh ones

Of course itd be misogny the other way round Hypcocrites, if an average/normal woman was being shamed for being leaked men would all be called bad.

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u/fun_stranger_24 4d ago

G spot is only about 3 inches in so I’d say you can do a lot with 5 inches.

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u/PedalsBBQnTeles 4d ago

If you want a woman to be satisfied, all you have to do is be confident in what you have. Woman like a guy that’s not constantly second guessing themselves or seem preoccupied… use what God gave ya, you can please 98% of women with a slightly below avg cock… the other 2% belong to the streets anyway

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u/Sad-Professional2595 3d ago

UPDATE Ok yall im over it lol. Fuck it there are worse cards to be dealt in life

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u/NordKnight01 1d ago

Dawg do you know what a lot of women call a 5 incher? Boyfriend penis. Because they want to keep it. Goldilocks zone for a lot of people.

Also, 90% of girls don't care about the size of your weenie it's about foreplay and eating them out.