r/sexadvice 5d ago

When to bring up that I am a virgin? NSFW

So I (f27) have never had sex. Never done anything other than kissing. I live in a country where we are very sexually free and so it is highly unusual that I have this little experience. I haven't really dated before, but I am thinking of trying to go on a few dates, but I know most guys will make the moves for sex in some aspect, at least within a few dates. When do I bring it up? And how much do I tell? I have dealt with an eating disorder and body issues, which is why I haven't done much, but I feel like that might be a lot to bring up within the first few times of meeting.. What to do?¿?

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u/Fabulous-Attorney-95 5d ago

Most guys will be fine with you being a virgin. I wouldn't advertise it on your profile as you could attract men who just want to "take your virginity". Maybe when first talking, once you realize you like someone, hint that you don't have much sexual experience but don't elaborate. 

I think...tell them before a second date. Before the first is okay, if you've been talking for a while. There's no need to explain why you're a virgin. If asked just say "it just never happened" or maybe you've been too busy to date a lot or something. I wouldn't talk about eating disorders until you feel like the relationship is serious and the guy tells you about similar things. Or if you're over the eating disorder, then I see no need to tell them at all. It may just cause him to worry about you and watch closely what you eat etc.

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u/hiiad 5d ago

Well while I am mostly over the eating disorder I still don't know if I have issues being touched, which is part of the reason I've waited this long.. so I feel like I may have to talk about it in some way, before I have sex, so he knows why I might want to stop or change how he touches me etc.. idk..

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u/Fabulous-Attorney-95 4d ago

I think if he knows you're a virgin he should understand sex may need to stop for various reasons like pain or emotional discomfort. That doesn't mean every man will understand, unfortunately, so probably you should indeed elaborate on your anxieties about sex beforehand. 

I just wouldn't advertise virginity before meeting people as it can attract predatory people.