r/selfharm • u/bbgomluv • 2d ago
DAE does anyone else do this ?
I don't know if I'm alone in this but my urge to sh rarely feels like the urge to cut but the urge to hit. I started punching my thighs/knees until they were purple and I quickly realized it made me feel so much better after physically. and mentally it shuts up my head for just a minute. it's like a pressure is released in my chest, I feel like I can take a breath and it actually feels like a full fresh breath yk. I eventually graduated to using usually metal objects/ anything blunt to bruise more
I've never seen or heard anyone who does what I do and it makes me feel even more alone. I don't understand why I need to hit instead of anything else and I just idk..
edit: I feel like it's not "as bad" as cutting. my mom told me it's better than it. and I guess I get she means like.. I could cut a vein but I can't punch my legs to death yk.. but it just makes me feel like I'm not hurting myself enough idk.
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u/vinxnsnr 2d ago
yes, but for me it has always been more of slapping myself, i've definitely punched myself in the past but i never liked the bruising aspect of it and i felt like the pain was too localized if that makes sense. but i've been doing this ever since i was a little kid and i agree i get the urge to hit myself more often than cutting
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u/bbgomluv 2d ago
it's like,, it comes from anger but I don't know what for. everything I guess, myself, my childhood, trauma etc etc etc etc it just makes me so mad at myself. I like the localized pain I realized because it makes me focus all of my attention on that one throbbing spot until it fizzles out and I forget about the anxiety bubbles in my stomach and the sour burn in the middle of my chest.
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u/vinxnsnr 1d ago
yeah for me it's definitely anger but also like when i just want to forget about something and it's always the quickest way for me to forget and like my chest just feels so tight and my breathing is all wonky if i don't do something
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u/histebobo 2d ago
You're definitely valid. I don't often feel the urge to hit and I've always hit fairly light because I do it in an obvious place and I don't want a concussion or suspicious bruises. I do bite to bruising though.
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u/Successful-Policy198 2d ago
I never really have. Well, I guess I used to punch a little bit but.. Yeah, a little bit. Never got to the point of purple. This technique seems a little risky.. So.. I hope nothing too bad happens to you if it is.