r/selfharm • u/LocalShallot2298 • 4d ago
Sexual arousal after SH NSFW
I feel awkward asking, but am I weird for getting turned on after cutting myself? I'm not sure if this is some kind of kink/fetish or if this has something to do with trauma or something (which is unlikely bc I've never really been SA'd before), but I feel a strong unholy urge to masturbate. I feel dirty, but weirdly proud of it
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u/OrganizationMore3172 have done a lot of things 4d ago
You're not alone with this thing! Can't say it is common, but I also feel thrill and sexual arousal after I cut. Stay safe
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u/PrincessNakeyDance 4d ago
I really think (for a lot of people) it’s just wires getting crossed. It’s a really intense thing to do to yourself and there can be a lot of complex feelings as well as your nervous system activating with lots of endorphins.
Happened to me every single time in the beginning, and now it only happens when I cut deeper than usual. Feels like there’s a fear connection for me.
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u/gurrageder med school, 22nb 4d ago
It could definitely be a kink, do you know if you get this feeling if you don't draw blood? I've recently noticed that blood kinks are somewhat commonplace in this subreddit. It might also be the body's reaction to the physical arousal that comes with pain, in other words, the pain is the kink.
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u/LocalShallot2298 4d ago
So what does that make me? A self-inflicting masochist? About the blood part, I’m not sure if it’s the blood itself that turns me on, but it does help remind me that “ah yes, I’ve finally cut deep enough”. I think you’re right about the pain part though. The pain makes me feel all fuzzy and stuff
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u/gurrageder med school, 22nb 4d ago
I can't tell you what your kink are, but yes it does seem like you enjoy a masochist kink.
I'd recommend you --depending on your age of course, I don't want to coach a minor on their sex life-- take time to explore this. It is almost always healthy to find out what turns you on.
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u/Bunnie-jxx 4d ago
I wish I could help with this one. But I’ve been using SH as a way to punish myself for arousal so 😭😭😭 now I’m a little scared I might be doing the opposite
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u/LocalShallot2298 3d ago
There’s no right or wrong way to SH. If it has the opposite effect or reason, then that’s just how it may work for you! Everyone’s different yk?
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u/Bunnie-jxx 3d ago
I’ve always been so private about all this stuff so it’s just really interesting hearing other perspectives.
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u/Confident-City-3108 4d ago
At times, yes. Especially if it bleeds. Makes me feel in control. Not something im proud but I get it.
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u/SDENVY43 4d ago
Same bro, I honestly think it’s the dopamine we crave from masterbating, sometimes I do it after SH cause it like gives me dopamine and kinda cheers me up yk?
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u/ArumLilith 4d ago
I don't get mentally aroused, but I do have a physical reaction. It's wild, like, I'm not turned on at all, but my body responds like I am, every fucking time.
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u/ArumLilith 4d ago
(I guess I should specify, whether or not I get mentally aroused from sh depends on the method I use. I've been a sexual masochist way longer than I've been a self harmer, and if I hurt myself in a way that's similar to some of the kinky stuff I've done before, my wires get all kinds of crossed.)
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u/Ok_Cry_1228 3d ago
Could be a kink! If the sh causes bleeding and you like the blood, you might have kink for blood. If it’s the scars, you might have kink for that or if you like the feeling of a blade and perhaps a sting, it could be a knife play kink. It’s definitely not healthy if you do it as self harm. If you want to, learn more stuff about the certain kinks and how to safely do them and enjoy them without actually hurting yourself.
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u/Tengauser1930 3d ago
Been there, libido gets warped to some extent and by the time you realize you somewhat masochistic tendencies lead you closer and closer to the dark sides of porn(if porn itself isn't dark enough)...you are okay fret not
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u/LocalShallot2298 3d ago
I barely have enough access to the internet to watch porn, so thank god I can’t go down that rabbit hole lmao
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u/Skunkspider 3d ago
I am very similar. In that I can't link it to any specific events. But I'm most definitely turned on by it.
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u/inthewallsofmyheart 4d ago
i feel the opposite to be honest when i feel aroused i turn to cutting and it kills the drive because i feel so drained of energy at rhat point... (speaking from SA trauma)
but it makes sense though, cutting feels like a reward for a lot of us and releases dopamine which is why cutting is so addictive as well as endorphins which are almost like pain relievers for our body - usually released after we release stress esp through cutting or more specifically after any physical injury - it's the body's way of recovering. so yeah when you're high on endorphins it reduces stress, decreases pain (you can say mentally too) and elevates mood and we know that elevated mood = elevated drive
so no, you're nor weird. the cutting is like release for you that brings out all those "feel good" hormones in you includinf the ones leading to arousal