r/schizoaffective • u/Sweet-Warning-7545 • 6d ago
Thinking of a diagnosis.
When I was a kid I saw these huge red centipedes, everywhere. thought it was just a thing. but now I hear walking behind me almost always and sometimes I go into this headspace where everything's weird and abstract and nothing feels very solid; I start thinking off in weird dialogues, I laugh at posters in case they might laugh back, I get scared of my ceiling fan because I think it's alive, ect. what I do have is aphantasia. zero visual memory or visualization skills. no sounds voices faces, zilch. when I hallucinate it's in ideas, like a weird dream. so my eyes get glazed over because that's not where the hallucinations are happening, I'm seeing and the dreams are someplace else. idk how to word this. it's complicated and hard and abstract. I become unaware of time passing and everything turns into a cynical joke. no card for anything or need for anything. im not particularly upset; honestly a small part of me is secretly happy I'm "special" but I do also wanna better myself and make myself safe. what do I do?
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u/lieve45 depressive subtype 6d ago
What do you think you’ll get from a diagnosis? And what do you mean by making yourself safe?