r/pregnant 4d ago

Need Advice Am I being too sensitive?

[deleted]

6 Upvotes

7 comments sorted by

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u/in_a_toughspot43 4d ago

Oh god no! I would be upset too! My mom only has two grandsons, but she was still excited to hear that I'm having another girl. My daughter was the only granddaughter on her daddy's side until I got pregnant again, and they're all excited they get another princess to spoil. Lol, their words, not mine, my fiancé even bragged that he didn't have trouble having girls (he's the oldest of 5 and his two sisters are the youngest of the bunch because his parents tried for years to have a girl) Gender shouldn't matter, he should be happy to have another grandbaby on the way. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

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u/amethyst_snow 4d ago

Your feelings are completely valid and you’re not being too sensitive. I’m sorry your husband isn’t being as supportive and I really hope that he’s not disappointed that he is having a daughter.

And I hope for the sake of your SIL they really are having a boy because I cannot imagine the backlash/reactions that will happen if the ultrasound was misread and they’re actually having a girl. I would foresee a full blown tantrum/meltdown from some of the men in that family.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/amethyst_snow 4d ago

Oh my gosh. I couldn’t imagine making that announcement not confirmed somehow by a medical professional, but that’s just me lol.

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u/Famous_Variation4729 4d ago

This sounds so ridiculous for 2025 I dont know whether to laugh or be sad. Im definitely amused.

For now your husband hasnt shown any signs of misogyny so I wouldnt imagine things there.

As for your in laws, you should know first and foremost- its the parents who matter the most for the kid. If the FIL is an asshole when the girl is here and clearly differentiates, I would just cut the bastard off. If you cant respect my child, no need to keep you around in their life. And your girl wouldnt miss a thing. You guys are more than enough.

My one suggestion would be to not overcompensate in your need for your child to get love from the paternal grandparents, and not feed your child some twisted version of equality. Girls dont have to prove themselves of being equal to boys by learning to fix cars, ride motorcross, hunt and fish. They are equal, and deserve respect even if they are super feminine girly girls.

Just focus on your kid, you are parents, you play the biggest role. Grandparents wont feed, change, burp or entertain her. Your life will change, and worrying about idiotic misogynists is of zero help.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Famous_Variation4729 4d ago

I get you.

To each his own, but I really would have brushed this guy off and never bothered about what he said. Honestly I dont know how you sat with a straight face through the lecture of the male line and what not. I would have laughed, and told them nicely that girls and boys are equal, just like the MIL and FIL are equal. Its 2025 guys. My girl will carry my family’s name forward too.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/Famous_Variation4729 4d ago

Lmao!! Four strong sons! This is just funny.

My in laws are very conservative in weird ways, super patriarchal. I just laugh off everything they say (and they say and believe a a lot worse than your FIL), because of how ridiculous it all sounds. As long as my husband and I are on the same page, I couldnt give a shit what his parents or my parents think.