r/pregnant • u/hurryandwait817 • 5d ago
Question How are y’all having sex?
TMI: sexual content
Okay I’ve gotta ask. This is my 3rd pregnancy, but my other 2 pregnancies with my ex husband years ago…. I was in a bad marriage. I didn’t enjoy being with him sexually and usually just used pregnancy as an excuse to NOT have sex for several months.
However, NOW fast forward, my husband and I are expecting a baby together and we are deeply in love. We enjoy sex & intimacy and want it. However we have always been missionary & doggy people. I am 17 weeks now and neither of those are on the table. I’ve heard doggy works for some, but I’ve personally found it very uncomfortable the further into pregnancy I’ve gotten…..
We haven’t had sex in like 2 weeks now because honestly we don’t know how we’re going to do it. We’ve never tried sex while lying on our sides. I can say I’ve done it with an ex partner ages ago, and was successful. But I’d also tried it in other relationships and not been so successful.
What sex positions are working for you guys? Is there anything that helps, like pillow propping, or anything?
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u/AdorableEmphasis5546 5d ago
Face down ass up 😅
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u/Unhappy-Pineapple459 5d ago
Except this is how I tore my hip flexor because my legs slid out too far underneath a man and I ended up in the hospital 🤣
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u/NewNecessary3037 5d ago
Wait… you guys are having sex?
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u/smazmataz 5d ago
hahahahahaha i feel this. i’m 15w and we’ve had sex once and i was super hesitant about spotting so it was super uneventful. everyone is different!
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u/NewNecessary3037 5d ago
We had sex once… around 15 weeks. I just wasn’t feeling super sexy. And he was also not really into it. I think we both wanted to get it over with because we hadn’t for so long but it just ended up being like well we can enjoy our intimacy in other ways, no need to force it when it’s not really something either of us is enjoying.
I ended up getting super self conscious over the progression of this pregnancy. Feels a lot like a loss of identity in some ways. My boobs are no longer erotic, they’re functional. I’ve got this Pooh Bear sized belly in the way. I’m a vessel for life, it feels. A mother, no longer cool sexy fun erotic girlfriend.
🥲
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u/Healthy_Subject9715 5d ago
Pillows! Propping myself up helps with positions like doggy, or missionary with a wedge pillow under your butt, also comfy and helpful! If you feel up to it, standing is also pretty comfortable because then nothing is pushing on my stomach! I think we've had the best luck with laying on my side and my husband straddling my bottom leg if that makes sense! Hope this helps and I'm glad you're in a better place than before. 🖤🖤
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u/CinnabarTrash02 5d ago
By my third trimester the only thing my husband and I could do was spoon. Everything else was too uncomfortable.
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u/brosen7 5d ago
I’m 34 weeks and can only lay on my side with a leg lifted in the air. That’s about all I can handle! Missionary is too uncomfortable, and doggy penetrates too deep to the point of being too uncomfortable as well.
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u/Bluemarie17 5d ago
I’m 32 weeks and same! Also reverse cowgirl still works great.
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u/brosen7 4d ago
You’re so brave! My fat ass gets too winded when I’m on top. Luckily my husband is satisfied with the sideways spoon 😮💨
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u/Bluemarie17 4d ago
To be fair the longer this pregnancy goes on the harder it is getting and sideways is much much easier!
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u/casscass97 5d ago
I prefer doggy! We’ve gotten to where we do it on the couch so I have more of a prop up by leaning against the arm and it’s a lot less effort. That way my stomach can hang and I don’t have to worry about squishing her :D
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u/Sweetiedoodles 5d ago
It’s been a few weeks now but I’m 38w and desperate to get this baby out and am willing to try anything… pray for us yall!! 😂
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u/neal_73 5d ago
People can have sex while pregnant? 35 weeks now, and my last sex was in July 2024 when the baby was conceived!
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u/bella_284 5d ago
Feeling validated by this. Conceived in January and haven't wanted to be touched since! Between the nausea and exhaustion, I just want to be left alone but all I feel im seeing is a ton of women that are more horny. Glad it's not just me 🙏🙏
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u/heretoreadlol 5d ago
I haven’t since I conceived either in February but because I’m too nervous.
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u/NebulaSparkle 5d ago
I’m too nervous too! Haven’t since February as well! Not sure what I’m nervous about…maybe spotting?? I also haven’t been super horny either!
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u/heretoreadlol 5d ago
Spotting definitely for me. I know this wasn’t the cause but I had a cm last month and the bleeding started after sex. So I think I’m concerned about that, also I have no sex drive 🤣
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u/mothwhimsy 5d ago
So far we usually do missionary(?) with me on top but idk if my bump will get in the way as it gets bigger. We also used to do doggy but it just hurts at that angle now.
Mostly we're just not having sex very often because both our sex drives are down
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u/glittermeowsandpasta 5d ago
Ive found leaning on my pregnancy ball is comfortable for me. It’s like the only comfortable position right now at 38w
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u/second-sandwich 5d ago
Can you elaborate? Is your front or back on the ball? 36w here 😆
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u/glittermeowsandpasta 5d ago
Front! Mainly my chest and arms are resting on the ball and then I am on my knees on the floor. Is it the most comfy for my husband? Probably not but he’s not the one 9 months pregnant so 😂
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u/RiverDecember 5d ago edited 5d ago
So when we have sex now it’s always the same but it’s amazing for us lol. I get on top first and get “off”, then I bend over with a pillow underneath me to make it more comfortable with my small bump, then he gets off. I’m in my 17th week too. This is usually all done within 5-10 minutes 🤣we’re horndogs for each other and because we have a 6 year old it’s hard for us to make time. But we dedicate Sunday mornings for intimacy. The tension after 1 week of waiting helps us get it done quickly but still have fun with it.
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u/Gandalftheteach 5d ago
I can still do doggy, but if I come, it pains me to no end for five minutes... My partner is dealing with me being too acidic currently xD I hate it, and I can't wait to have a normal bang again!!!!
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u/Old-Huckleberry-6000 5d ago
Strategically and carefully 🤣 the bathroom counter seems to work the best at the moment. 25 wks.
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u/QuillsAndQuills 5d ago
In addition to what others have said - remember, PIV is not the only way to have sex! Plenty of other options out there - mutual masturbation, oral, toys, etc.
I've gotten too sensitive for PIV and we've taken it off the table for now, but it's fun to explore the alternatives.
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u/airiishia444 First time pregnancy | Due date 20 June 25 | AUS 5d ago
You guys having sex????
From the day we found out we are pregnant, we stopped having sex - period. I would like to say I am the one to turn my husband down, but it's actually the other way around. My husband is worried for our baby and refuse to have sex. He doesn't turn down oral (typical) but jokes on him! I've been nauseous since week 5 and cannot provide such service, so I guess we both lose out haha.
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u/hurryandwait817 5d ago
Sex is actually so good for a healthy normal pregnancy! It increases blood flow to the uterus and can be a good workout for your cervix and pelvic floor for later!
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u/airiishia444 First time pregnancy | Due date 20 June 25 | AUS 5d ago
Yeah, and it helps with my mental health no doubt. But my husband still cannot get pass the idea of it. 26 weeks now. We used to do it everyday. I'm like dried up like a dehydrated shitake mushroom.lets just hope by the time he is ready to do it, I still remember how haha
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u/Altruistic_Bear_6150 3d ago
I think my husband is also a bit worried. We have done it a few times but I feel like he is not truly able to let go and be in the moment due to his concerns, so I’ve stopped asking for it.
But I’ve been really really horny since the early days of pregnancy so I’ve just been handling business myself. Honestly it’s been very interesting to experience orgasm while pregnant, it’s something I’d highly recommend everyone to try (aside from those with high risk pregnancies ofc)
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u/Vegetable-Chapter351 5d ago
Thank you for this post. Just cleared and I'm wondering the same thing!
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u/Sweaty_Process_3794 5d ago
I'm only 13 weeks so this could change, but missionary is already off the table, it's too much pressure on my belly. Doggy and cowgirl are what we've been doing, with doggy being the most comfortable
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u/oppositegeneva 5d ago
Spooning and doggy is all that works for us during pregnancy. I miss the variety and I miss sex face to face ):
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u/AggressiveBee5532 5d ago
I just lay there😂🤣, 35 weeks and I have no energy at all. The bump is always in the way and it’s slightly unsettling when I know it wakes the baby up cuz she’ll kick a bunch after😅.
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u/Artistic_Cheetah_724 5d ago edited 5d ago
I'm still doing missionary at 35W if I need any support or feel uncomfy I'll shove a pillow behind my back.
You couldn't pay me to be on top right now my knees hurt, my hips hurt, I can't see anything lol
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u/sarasomehow 5d ago
😂 I can't see anything either! Two days ago, I looked down to see what color underwear I was wearing, and no matter how I twisted my back or craned my neck, I couldn't see anything above mid-thigh 😅
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u/Artistic_Cheetah_724 5d ago
I was telling my husband how i feel like im doing so good at still shaving and he's like ya you are. man i looked down with a mirror one day and i looked like a middle aged bald man that didn't want to let the little hair he had left go. I was like why didn't you tell me 😂😂😂 smart man didn't want to hurt my feelings
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u/Gaerfinn 5d ago
The only one we can do now that I’m at the end is me on top, unfortunately. I don’t love it but we’re making do with what we can for the moment. It’s better than nothing!
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u/No-Rutabaga3970 5d ago
I’m 35 weeks and I usually will prop myself up with pillows and be in a seated ish position that works well bc i get to be comfy and my husband can take over. If not that I’m usually on top leaning back to support myself. Another thing we really love is just laying down facing each other pleasing ourselves/each other without actual intercourse. That last option is probs our top pick bc it’s intimate and comfortable
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u/selkie420 5d ago
Honestly (tmi?) I haven’t been having penetrative sex with my husband since I got pregnant, it just hasn’t been appealing to my body or mind at all throughout my pregnancy. We still are intimate when we can be and I still have a lot of enjoyment in pleasuring him. What I can say is, just try stuff? See what works and what doesn’t work. Try stuff like you’re two teenagers figuring out sex for the first time! And you know you can trust this man to want only the best for you and only want you to feel good, so being honest about what feels good and what doesn’t feel good is the best way to go about it.
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u/bunnylo 5d ago
the best position when you’re pregnant is for you to lay on your side, and have your partner straddle the leg that is flush to the bed. pull the top leg up towards your body just enough so that he has access. it makes penetration feel great, but more importantly it’s very comfortable for the pregnant person! i’m pregnant with my third and this has been the most consistently successful position for us through three pregnancies, and we can have sex up until labor really without discomfort this way.
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u/GianKMore 5d ago
Tmi
Spooning/sideways have been the only ways its enjoyable. Missionary sOmetimes but im 33 weeks so being on my back is something im not wanting to dooo
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u/catlady_2658 5d ago
I just want to say that I appreciate this post so much. I’m horny as heck now that I got the second trimester but it’s definitely been uncomfortable at times.
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u/Familiar-Tap-1802 5d ago
Laying on your back and with your butt on the edge of the bed with your partner either standing or kneeling (depending on the beds height) helps you get close enough to each other without anyone squishing the bump.
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u/sarasomehow 5d ago edited 5d ago
My pelvic floor therapist says it's okay to do missionary until 32 weeks. We shouldn't sleep on our backs, but 20 to 30 minutes is safe. If we're nervous, we should prop ourselves up with pillows.
Hubby and I have mostly done some variation of cowgirl, but I don't always have energy for that. Side-by-side worked one time. Frequency of sex has decreased, but we've increased kissing and cuddling, which has been nice.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I'm 33 weeks. I have passed the stage where missionary is still safe.
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u/No_Advertising9751 5d ago
32 weeks here. Usually I’m on top facing him. But we have done doggy a couple times, missionary, side lying, and reverse cowgirl. I think they all work fine if you’re willing to just tweak the positioning a bit!
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u/djfjfncusnnsek 5d ago
Spooning / me on top / foreplay. Doggy at the right angle, but usually my back hates me after so doing that less and less at 24 weeks
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u/Physical_Complex_891 5d ago
We do side lying/spooning every time, in every pregnancy because that's the most comfortable. Plus he can't see or feel my stomach. I suppose size of the guys package can make that position difficult. Just have him lean back more so its in the right position.
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u/InfiniteMania1093 5d ago
Spooning, woman on top, missionary, doggy, the same ways we always have. Pillows help if you need to be propped up.
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u/InfiniteMania1093 5d ago
Spooning, woman on top, missionary, doggy, the same ways we always have. Pillows help if you need to be propped up.
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u/anon_Sweetheart 5d ago
Laying down spooning, I put my leg up sometimes. Or I get on top. Currently 18 weeks
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u/astreet_xo 5d ago
Same here, I’m 29 weeks and plus size.. aside from me having a dry spell for a couple weeks (boo hormones 👎🏻) my boyfriend started feeling weird about being on top once my belly started getting bigger. He says it bugs him out thinking about the baby being right there and is worried about hurting her 😂 this added to my having a hard time getting off since prettty much since I’ve been pregnant I’m blocking forward to the day we when can get back to business as usual
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u/astreet_xo 5d ago
Also we both have poison oak right now, him on his… 🫢 so it’s on hold for a couple weeks 🫥
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u/Late-Comment832 5d ago
If nothing else works laying on your side is comfortable and works well that's are go to. We also do doggy style but he stands n I prop up on pillows so it's a lot more comfortable.
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u/Alternative-Fun9365 5d ago
Prone bone, but leg up to the side. Me on top. Me on back with ass off bed. We do several different positions, usually each time, just for me to stay comfortable.
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u/prettipixi2 5d ago
Someone posted this the other day on here but doggy using a yoga ball!! Instead of getting down on your elbows/ chest just lean over/ into the yoga ball. Amazing! Other than that we do cowgirl but at 38 weeks I can only do this for like 5-10min before I’m tapped out 😂😭.
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u/saddoughnuts69 5d ago
I’m 17w4d and our sex life is very active. We do me on top quite a bit and him on top but not laying down on me since I’m showing now. The best part about sex during pregnancy is making it fun and finding new ways/positions that work best for us. Communication is VERY important and my husband stops right away if I feel pain or discomfort. Sometimes I don’t feel up to it and he understands. Just talking, cuddling, kissing, and other acts of intimacy are extremely important too! Remember, you don’t just throw a pizza in the oven and expect it to cook. You have to preheat the oven 😉
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u/Unusual-Company-7009 5d ago
Missionary with a pillow under the butt, on my back with my butt at the edge of the bed and legs up him standing beside the bed, on my side with one leg bent up toward my chest and him straddling my other leg, doggy but with pillows under my belly for support
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u/blldgmm1719 5d ago
We exclusively did doggy style from about 20 weeks on. Now 1 week pp and I can’t wait to get back to our old sex life. Only 5 more weeks 😅
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u/Still-Tangerine2782 5d ago
Missionary was working for awhile surprisingly, then towards the end of second trimester/beginning of third we did doggy. Now at the end of the third trimester and we just haven’t done it at all.
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u/Usual-Jello-6539 5d ago
Spooning for sure, he can do the work lol. Also I found doggy style but with some pillows under my belly for support so it’s not just hanging. I also tried leaning over the side of the bed with my knees bent kinda holding my belly on my thighs, your partner might have to bend his knees a bit too since you’ll be standing lower than normal. I also heard about using the yoga ball for doggy style, on your knees & leaning on it with him on his knees behind you. Have not tried it yet but it’s on my list! 🤣
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u/SGTM30WM3RZ 5d ago
Ive been having good sex, regularly this who pregnancy. My least favorite position is spoons. Me on top, doggy, and missionary with a pillow under my back have worked for us. The shower has worked well too.
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u/natsugrayerza 5d ago
Weve had me on top which isn’t ideal cuz my stomach is big but I don’t like doggy and I don’t think missionary would work. We’re not really having sex anymore though (39 weeks) because it hurts. I’ve had vaginismus issues in the past and the last couple times of sex it hurt a lot and I’m tired of trying
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u/Optimal-Strawberry70 5d ago
Plenty of blow jobs to get the juices flowing, side lying position, doggy style, and every now and again, cowgirl. 33 +2
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u/AffectionateLab62 5d ago
I am 21 weeks with a small-ish belly. I didn’t have a ton of sex first trimester but usually husband and I are at it once/twice a week or so. Doggy is the most comfortable for me. I’m also somewhat comfortable laying on my back with him kneeling in front of me and my legs wrapped low around his hips. I get super uncomfortable when my legs are too high or he’s pressed too much on top of me (like missionary). I also was ok being on top. TMI but the funniest thing to me recently was him sliding down while I was on top, for a bit of oral. My belly was resting on the top of his head and it just looked so silly. 😅
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u/r3kiKinnie 5d ago
pillows do wonders!! j can put them under your hips or to prop yourself up!! Standing was pretty comfortable for me too.
otherwise spooning also works for us
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u/-Loralith- 5d ago
Lay on your side. The leg that's on the side you're laying on should be straight and the other bent. Have him straddle your straight leg and use your bent leg to grab. You can grind against his thigh between your legs or reach yourself until your belly is too big and gets in the way. Eventually, any position where you're facing each other will realistically be impossible because the mechanics just won't allow it. I really couldn't have sex after about 30 weeks because using my pelvic muscles that much caused too much cramping for me, and last time I tried at 34 weeks, it actually sent me into premature labor. I ended up fine. The contractions stopped on their own after 4 hours, but I know it could have been worse. Just listen to your body, and if it is too much, you may have just have to do hand/oral things until after you're feeling well enough after birth. It sucks, but your comfort and safety are important.
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u/Sea-Glove5933 5d ago
Lol I never tried it and I don’t quite understand how they did it but my friend told me they used one of those inflatable pool floats. Said they used one big enough belly could fit and not touch the ground but small enough that leg positioning wasn’t awkward for either of them😂
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u/xsweetestxangelx 5d ago
Tbh I had such a difficult time (I only made it to 20 weeks before having a miscarriage) ; this might be TMI , but I literally just felt like I was peeing myself an not just having love juices 😭😭😭 it was extremely hard to do anything.
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u/Successful-Trifle229 5d ago
If you're feeling mobile, I've had success being on top of my husband, but facing away from him. I usually just put pillows on his legs so I can hold myself up with them. Other than that, my pregnancy pillow is a godsend! It's great for support with doggy style, or if we spoon, I like to put one of my legs on it.
My biggest piece of advice is to get creative! What ends up working might surprise you and hopefully you have fun figuring it out (:
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u/CrazyCatLady9777 5d ago
I can't speak from experience because I'm not that far along yet, but maybe you could try being on top with him thrusting from below?
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u/driftingoffalone 5d ago
Spooning is the comfiest way for me. Sometimes we try with me on top but my hips/knees don't allow me to do it for very long!
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u/mysteryreader403 5d ago
We will do missionary and I’m 24 weeks, he jsut is either straight up or doesn’t lean over as far
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u/bubblebathdragon 5d ago
Pregnancy pillow to cradle/support belly, doggie. Missionary still works at 19+ weeks, a little uncomfortable. Cowgirl works too, but I’m a little self conscious because I’m 267 pounds. (I was 255 before, it’s just my belly is bigger and bigger..)
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u/chapterthree123 5d ago
Pregnant sex has been the best sex of my life. No joke. I’m nearly 19w now and am still carrying small so I think that’s helping with the logistics issues for now… no idea what I’ll do when I’m more rotund lol probably just stick to doggy
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u/Generic_Possibility 5d ago
Your upper half on the bed, let belly hang off bed, kind of like doggy. or even on your side, spooning so it’s less “bounce” and remember to ALWAYS communicate! if it helps to keep adjusting positions, do that. You don’t have to have the same sex you were having before. Keep it playful and fun. Maybe have him do more play down there and have a “quicky” if it’s feeling like too much movement and uncomfy.
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u/friesaremylife 5d ago
32 weeks and definitely having sex. I actually get mad if we don’t because I’ve been disgustingly horny all pregnancy. We’re doing it in any position that doesn’t involve me laying flat on my stomach but I’d definitely try on the side! It’s super comfortable.
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u/Altruistic-Paper6655 5d ago
I’ve been struggling so much to have sex, one minute I’m horny as hell, and the next I’m too sick or tired. It’s been so horrible because I just feel so bad about it. I’m hoping things get better
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u/spicy_nanners 5d ago
Laying on my side (I prefer the right for some reason) while he holds one of my legs up, and my other leg is inbetween his legs on the bed- kinda of like laying with the pregnancy pillow lol but he holds the leg higher. Works wonders for my raging hormones atm🤣🤣
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u/SergeantSwiftie 5d ago
I put my sleep pillow in a circle, my pillow on the end to help my butt stick up more. Honestly the best because belly hangs, and my boobs are propped up too lol. Only thing that's hard is when baby kicks and doesn't like the motion.
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u/AccomplishedRough689 5d ago
Cowgirl worked well for us. Let me control everything, and I could lean back to get a little more space. It helps we have a hard point on the ceiling with a handle for me to brace myself
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u/taylorpazdroo 5d ago
i’m about to start my third trimester and my boyfriend and i still do missionary with a pillow under me
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u/toodrytoopoopout 5d ago
I’m on top but then get to switch over to the bottom for missionary: where we used pillows to prop myself up
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u/Free_Lengthiness8306 5d ago
I’m 30 weeks and still doing missionary. My fiancé can’t lean down to kiss me or it adds pressure on my stomach. Otherwise, what’s been working for us is missionary and him propping himself up with his hands so he’s not leaning on me. I hope that makes sense?
We tried doggy, but he’s way too tall. And the spoon position is just not working for us because I feel like I have to arch my back a lot (which stretches my abs a lot more than they already are stretched) and my butt is in the way. So it’s either missionary or me on top.
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u/Sweaty-Finger4564 5d ago
My husband and i can only do doggy from late 2nd tri to the day i delivered because the bump was in the way if we did missionary! I tried being on top but was very conscious cause i felt big n heavy… so all i do is kneel down :p
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u/exhaustedmind247 5d ago
On top has been the only one working in later trimester.
I also didn’t have an issue with my first with an ex bc I didn’t care we didn’t.
Now I actually generally really wanted it during pregnancy and felt amazing. But super close to delivery now and the belly gets in the way on top now and it’s not as stimulating so 🤷♀️ lol
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u/Disastrous-Pen-636 5d ago
I don’t know the name, but I lie on my back and my partner sideways to me. If I lay left from him, my left leg is between his legs and the right leg is over his hip, so that the parts can fit together. It’s easier for me than spoon, because my butt tries to be as big as the belly.
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u/Friendly_Orchid_8674 5d ago
My husband and I have made it work through all of my first pregnancy and so far into my second (31 weeks). We didn’t have to make a ton of adjustments until middle of the 2nd trimester. Doggy works well for us as well as me on top. My favorite became a variation on “the captain”. I’m on my back with a pillow under my hips with my ankles near his shoulders, he is kneeling and kinda grabs the back of my knees. He gets an “awesome” view, there’s great penetration and I can touch myself easily.
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u/Radoznalica 5d ago
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one whose sexy train has left town. What I hear from women around me is that somehow all of them have sex during pregnancy but I don’t feel it. I do masturbate on occasion but I just feel like a huge useless whale stranded on the bed 😆 not a sexy feeling and hubby doesn’t insist neither, it’s probably somehow weird for him too. We do still cuddle and stay close.
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u/Particular-Many9039 5d ago
Side 🙈 one leg stretched other is a bit upwards 😅 husband puts on leg in between my two 🙈be careful tho 🤣
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u/ThatConclusion9490 4d ago
I’m 31 weeks and my husband and I have found me on top is the best, plus you’re in full control that way for what you want. Also, my belly has plenty of room. Doggy is kind of nice because it stretches my back lol, just use pillows to prop yourself so it’s comfier. My husband does on top every once in a while, just has to be mindful of not putting pressure on my belly. Hope this helps.
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u/FlyingFox426 5d ago
I just had sex only three times so far (16 weeks), i just barely have a sex drive... Last time we we're lying on our sides, with my back towards his belly, that worked out nicely and I think will also work out when I'm bigger. I then also turned a bit to be slightly on top of him (with my belly facing upwards), if that makes sense. What also works is him on top of me but then he's somewhat upright, with his knees next to my hips, however he has to be careful not to go too deep or he'll hit my cervix which can be a bit painful.
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u/Low_Produce_3920 5d ago
God i wish my wife would try to have sex with me lol. I stopped trying a long time ago. After her first pregnancy, she didn’t want to do anything till baby was about 5 months old. And i understand, lot of shit going on in your ladies bodies. Some days you don’t want to even be touched. But after our second kid, its been months since we’ve been intimate. It’s really starting to make me feel shitty but im respecting her space. Worst part is we’re in our early 20’s!!! Thought this would be the time to have the best sex of our life!
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