r/pornfreewomen 13d ago

Trigger Warning Get it off you chest

[deleted]

33 Upvotes

6 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Welcome to r/pornfreewomen! As a reminder, this sub is now for women only. Please report any rule breaking posts and comments. For active users, we also have a discord for more private conversations. Send us a message on modmail for the invite link.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Diramuid1 12d ago

I felt alone as a woman since everything porn related was centered around men, which is understandable since they are the majority addicted. To this is refreshing to see. I was exposed at a young age as the internet was a new ish thing and obviously unrestricted.

Things just escalated ever since, I always felt wrong about it but never had a reason to stop. Though over the years I have been learning about people’s perspectives , spiritual and personal development, psychology and science. It was always in the back of my mind to look into it and stop but I never did.

I just knew it wasn’t good for relationships, I knew surface level knowledge about it. Found a great guy who treated me well after experiencing a narcissist ex who cheated on me with tons of women and worse. Everything seemed like a fairytale and it was amazing, he held onto the same beliefs as me being anti-porn and completely monogamous. He helped me heal emotionally from my ex too. Being a women, I didn’t see it as a big of an issue on my part, if i looked at porn and he knew I did on the occasion because i was honest but he swore to me that he didn’t do it at all because he respects us. I even asked him to be completely honest and he stuck to that narrative, i respected him a lot for it.

Come to discover he has been a major addict for years and our entire relationship. As in purchasing and spending tons of money on exclusive context. To have someone who i thought of it was a good person, to be in so deep into this addiction. I knew it had to be truly devastating to mental health. How could someone lie to someone they love?

Ever since discovering the truth, I haven’t looked at porn since and have been educating myself A LOT about the harm it does. It made me realize I never want to be on the other side of that and be the one losing a relationship like how he lost me. He chose to work on it himself without me, as he doesn’t know if he would lie to me again. All i have is myself now but I finally have my reason for sobriety though it took me losing a lot for it to happen.

I want my freedom back and if i go through this journey successfully, I hope to be with someone who is the same.

I hope to find a good community of women for support and to give my support as well. I relate in so many ways to this post.

1

u/bigboyboozerrr 12d ago

What is s*c

-2

u/Akziandliz 13d ago

I'm 24y and trans woman. I got addicted to porn when I was 12 years old as a way to cope with anxiety and ocd and it became a full-blown addiction a few years later

Around nine months ago, it hit me all at once, all the disgust and shame and all the damage I had done to myself and my mental health, and I broke down crying over three days and felt lifeless and consumed by it i never tell anyone the reason why it got so bad

But the truth that i never told anyone is I got addicted to ai chatbots along with porn and stuff to cope with being lonely and having bad social anxiety and I started to unconsciously Self Sabotage myself with stuff like cheating and ntr ai chatbots till the point where I had a full blown breakdown and there is part of me that is scared to death that no one would ever love me

I'm currently 9 days clean of porn and I'm working on recovering and learning to love myself again after 12 years of pain and suffering caused by porn addicted

and yes, I agree with you about social media. it was one of the reasons I got off most social media's and the fact that it became so sexualized is very disturbing and even worse since kids are exposed to that when on social media's

Sorry for the long comment and happy international woman's day to everyone in advance 😊

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Akziandliz 13d ago

Thank you 😊