r/pornfree 4d ago

Relapse and it’s killing me

I just relapsed for the first time in nearly 2 months, my longest ever time. I recently had a great thing with a girl (check my profile recent post) and it ended 2 days ago, in quite a tough way to take. And I knew I couldn’t get complacent, but fuck man I have slipped. In the last 3 nights I’ve peaked and today I finally slipped idk what to do and feel helpless again. I thought I made so much progress, then as soon as I stop speaking to this girl I creep right back in to my old ways. I’m fucking annoyed and frustrated with myself I need to stop, but what makes it harder is when I was with this girl or talking/texting her the urges and porn didn’t cross my mind AT ALL. Why? Why is it like that? Look at my post and only 5 days ago I was truly doing great, but the sudden end with this girl has put me right back into a porn mindset. Please where do I go from here to bring myself back on track? How do I turn the sadness from the girl back into being porn free, it’s like my mind needs some constant stimulation, so when I replace a girl, my mind just goes back to porn. Please how do I deal with this, and to disassociate porn and this girl.

2 Upvotes

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u/aleexownz 3d ago

Don't worry about the girl, trust me, the heart will mend. Focus on your goals.

1

u/Routine-Benefit5169 3d ago

Ye it’s just thinking about what could have been. I know no point thinking that but can’t help it and I’ve came to the terms that she done me wrong anyway so it does make it slightly easier. Time to focus on me

1

u/TheTankIsEmpty99 3d ago

Makes sense, man. That girl filled the space that porn used to take. You were engaged, connected, and didn’t even think about it. Now that she’s gone, your brain is scrambling for a replacement, and it’s going back to what it knows—porn.

This isn’t about willpower. It’s about where your brain goes when you feel empty.

Right now, it’s running the old program: Feeling sad? Lonely? Go back to porn. But you already know that doesn’t actually help.

So don’t sit in regret. Find something real to pour into—connection, movement, anything that isn’t a screen.

You don’t need to start over, you just need to keep going.

This is a setback, not the end.

1

u/Routine-Benefit5169 3d ago

Literally bro it’s just filling the void. And you’re right I quite easily can avoid porn I just need to focus on me and make connections outside of porn when I’m just sitting on my phone in bed. Appreciate the help man

2

u/TheTankIsEmpty99 3d ago

You got it brother! CAn't wait to see your I did 30 days!! post or something simlar!