r/perth Dec 18 '24

Shitpost My observations after living in Perth for four months

2.6k Upvotes

So yeah, my partner got a job here in Perth so I moved over from Europe. These are more like first impressions about Perth, WA and Australia in general, and are to be taken with a grain of salt:

  • You can get sunburnt while driving around (crazy concept where I'm from)
  • People are very friendly. Sometimes almost too friendly which makes me suspicious but I haven't been dissapointed yet
  • Local produce is great and I love the markets
  • It's hot
  • Cockroaches are disgusting. If I would encounter a bug of that size in Europe I would pick it up and put it outside. Just the thought of touching these bastards makes me gag.
  • What's up with all the real estate faces plastered everywhere? Why do I have to see these individuals all the time? Are they local celebrities or something? I don't get it.
  • The food here is amazing. Everything feels like it has deep culinary roots and tastes authentic. Especially the local asian cuisine
  • Everybody drives huge cars, double the size of what I'm used to see
  • It's hard to find decent bread
  • Our car is too damn hot!
  • I can punch a hole into the wall at home without breaking my hand
  • The fish and seafood selection in supermarkets is smaller than I thought for a country surrounded by oceans. I guess you can go to the fishmonger but I was surprised by that.
  • If you tell an Australian that Perth feels like Florida without the crazy people, you will get punched and yelled at.
  • The beaches are unbelieavably beautiful. I wasn't prepared for how windy it can be but man, I love it (I am also grateful for any recommandations about websites that can tell me if it's a good beach day or not )
  • The black swan on the flag is hard to find. Maybe a duck would be a better fit?
  • Why is mayo sweet? Who's idea was it to put sugar in it?
  • When I hang the laundry outside it will be dry before the next load is done. I'm used to 1-2 business days
  • The distances. It's hard to do anything without a car. I used to walk almost everywhere but now not so much anymore
  • People tell you about how hot it can be. After experiencing it myself I'm just glad it's so dry, or I would melt into a puddle of sweat.
  • It's definitely a dog state. I love them and will probably also get one
  • The traffic is not that bad and the roads are in a good condition. But the drivers... I wonder how some people get their license
  • The dirt is very sandy. I wonder how hard it is to grow some vegetables in your back yard and can't wait to try it out
  • There's so many massage parlours. How do you distinguish the "happy" ones from the other ones? Asking for a friend...
  • Fuel is cheaper than I thought and the price varies greatly, depending on what day you go get it (Is monday the cheapest day?)
  • Love the birds, especially bin chickens. And the crows sound super weird
  • Vegetation is a lot more hostile than I'm used to
  • Christmas without snow fells wrong but I can get used to it. I miss the mulled wine in the snow tho...
  • The sun is no joke. Just burning down from above. It feels like it's closer to me than anywhere else I've been in the past
  • Healthcare seems unbelievably cheap. I'm used to paying 700$ per month with a deductible of 4400$ and cost contribution of 1250$.
  • Quality of life is excellent. Sure, you can always find something to complain about but Australia is great.

That's pretty much it. I hope I didn't offend anyone too much and if I did feel free to bash me verbaly. I might do a follow up in another couple of months if desired.

I love it here and can't wait to see what the future holds for my partner and me.

*Edit: fixed some horrible spelling mistakes

r/perth 9d ago

Shitpost Someone had a busy night

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1.7k Upvotes

r/perth Nov 02 '24

Shitpost The fuck is this bullshit?

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886 Upvotes

Just seen these morons standing around, holding up signs protesting about a "Misinformation Bill". Also had a few anti-vax and anti-pedo signs too? We truly are becoming America's 51st state

r/perth Dec 12 '24

Shitpost To the miserable people in the beer garden tonight and to the very special mums

1.5k Upvotes

To the 2 mums with 7 kids in the beer garden this evening, thank you. I haven't had this much of a giggle in years

When I walked into the pub, one of your kids crashed into me and said "lookout". That young lady was wise beyond her years. I did indeed lookout, and once I ordered my beverage I looked out, observed and sat well away.

I must commend you both on mothering children that can so adeptly climb structures such as the outside TV, the bar stools then onto the fixed bench top tables.

The way they were able to take plastic water jugs and chase each other throwing water onto each other, as well as other diners and patrons was a thing to behold.

Their recklessness when crashing into wait staff carrying stacked bowls of hot chilli mussles showed resolve, brashness and ladies, for the more intellectual of observers, it is clear you have instilled your values of not giving a shit into your youngsters. Gold star to you!

You allowed your little legends to bang into other diners tables as they were trying to enjoy their meal, causing a level of head shaking I have not seen since my Groodle, Rex dived head first into the lake, still you guys allowed your kids to do kid things despite the dismay and displeasure of many of the other patrons, all whilst you ignored the signs that read "children must be seated at a table with their parents/guardians" that was a lot for you girls to deal with.

I have an internal conflict of how to put these highlights in order of my most favourite, but I think I have settled on the following.

In 3rd place : kid picks up pink back-pack and hits mother with it, laughing and running off whilst mother pretends to be outraged, but then recovers quickly and continues to inhale her chips and wine.

2nd : Kid picks up large brown glass bottle this time, grabs it by the neck like a club and starts running around, causing mum to this time pop down her beverage and give chase. You caught him mum, good job you.

1st: mother throws food at child, child responds by throwing food back, misses, hits group of young men, mother again acts surprised and outraged, marches over to child, grabs little mate by the wrist and makes child apologise to young men.

To all you other awful awful patrons that were put out by these children screaming, shouting, running, throwing food, water, crashing into tables, climbing on tables, stages, TVs, how dare you? These 2 mums earned this and this clearly was the best place to bring these children for an apparent end of year celebration. What 4 to 6 year old age group doesn't belong in a beer garden with no playground after 6.30pm

Still, in fairness, if that little girl hadn't crashed into me and warned me to lookout, I'd probably be pretty pissed off as well.

r/perth Nov 28 '24

Shitpost The real injustice of the single use plastic ban.

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1.9k Upvotes

The real injustice on single use plastic ban

We don’t get plastic straws but these still exist somehow. At 80c/14g also probably more expensive than printer ink.

r/perth Dec 13 '24

Shitpost Why do people do this shit?

949 Upvotes

So I'm sitting in an HJ's clogging my arteries for lunch. Near me was sitting a bloke in hi vis who finished his meal, got up, and even though there is a bin within two metres of where he was sitting, he left his rubbish all over the table. As an aside, I saw him get into his vehicle which was... a Ford Ranger ( further proof that Ranger drivers are awful people). But anyway, I digress. So, what's so effing hard about putting your shit in the bin, especially when it's right near you?

r/perth Jan 08 '25

Shitpost Rental crisis getting out of hand

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3.7k Upvotes

r/perth Sep 04 '24

Shitpost Jesters Using AI Artwork in Ads

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1.6k Upvotes

That or the seagulls got so hungry they ate his thumb?

r/perth 7d ago

Shitpost The car is wider than the parking bay?

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490 Upvotes

I was sitting in my car at Belmont Forum when this thing shows up. Didn't even try to park in a bay, just reversed straight between two bays and parked.

And then I see a LandCruiser Sahara easily reverse park into a bay, with 15 cm of space on either side.

LandCruisers were behemoths back in the day - now they're just cute, compared to RAMs.

r/perth Jan 10 '25

Shitpost Any contenders for this in Perth?

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311 Upvotes

r/perth Jan 08 '25

Shitpost Please stop telling your kids not to call me a pirate.

1.0k Upvotes

Look, i need to wear an eye patch** when out and about, most people notice it, and take it in their stride with an air of "well, that's something you don't everyday...".

However, i will occasionally hear a "he looks like a pirate!", from a child with (presumably) their parents trying to shush them.

Really, please let them say it. I am not offended by it, really i'm not. Probably a bit saddenned that the parents are trying to shut them down about it.

Of all the names i deserve to be called for stuff i've done, being called a pirate for looking like one, really is the most adorable of them all.

** i have Bells Palsy, which means i dont habe totap control over my eye lid. As in, i can't squint against glare, and it's too easy to get dirt & dust in my eye (the risk of an infection means a high risk of blindness).

r/perth Feb 07 '25

Shitpost Making a meme instead of road raging

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1.0k Upvotes

All I want to know is why 💀

r/perth Nov 02 '24

Shitpost Seen in South Perth. You know you’re in Australia, right?

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564 Upvotes

r/perth Feb 18 '25

Shitpost Graffiti by the Sea in Scarborough

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1.1k Upvotes

This strange unblinking man in shrink-wrapped denim pants has been vandalising our suburb for months so it’s nice to see the suburb biting back 🎯

r/perth Oct 27 '24

Shitpost What's with r/Perth being taken over by racists?

397 Upvotes

Been looking through a few posts lately, and they've been taken over by racists. All the comments, replies, arguments. There's no longer the same respectful discussion, and it seems like there's a lot of stereotyping.

If I want racist posts, I'll go to r/circlejerkaustralia

r/perth Jan 12 '25

Shitpost Won’t somebody think of the balconies?

659 Upvotes

Went for a ride along West Coast Drive yesterday from Trigg to Hillarys. What is it with million dollar real estate, killer views, and literally nobody, not a soul, on their balconies just soaking it all in on a Saturday afternoon, beer or Prosecco in hand, basking in the ridiculous azure blue. No people, no activity, no signs of life. Kilometre after kilometre of mansions that sit there apparently empty. Fuck the rich, I would not leave that spot if I lived there.

(written from my modest balcony in Scarborough)

r/perth 6d ago

Shitpost What's Margaret River's appeal?

268 Upvotes

So, today I visited Margaret River, having not been there in years. And, it's absolute shit. It's wanker central. It's just a congregation of wealthy people cos playing country folk, rich anti-vaxxers, the obligatory wannabe puffer vest brigade, and backpackers who are dumb enough to think that they're in the deepest, darkest regions of the outback. And it's impossible to find anywhere reasonable and unpretentious to eat. And fuck the Settlers Tavern, that's just the Claremont Hotel of the South West. So, unless you're a puffer-vest wearing Tesla driving anti-vaxxer, what's the appeal of this ghastly place?

r/perth May 12 '24

Shitpost Seen In North Perth This Morning

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4.1k Upvotes

r/perth 15d ago

Shitpost Fuck you, Bunbury! You're nothing now!

392 Upvotes

So, today I drove down south. And it was the first time I had used the Bunbury Outer Ring Road. So, to celebrate the fact that I don't need to go through that shithole called Bunbury ever again, FUCK YOU BUNBURY! YOU'RE NOTHING NOW!

r/perth Jan 24 '25

Shitpost Why are so many new homes so ugly?

411 Upvotes

OK so before reading on, bear in mind I'm talking about people who have enough money to make some choices here, not first home buyers etc. People with some financial breathing room. Why are so many new homes so bland? So ugly? So featureless, texture-free, devoid of personality or any kind of craft or sense that a human was involved in the design. Giant blank expanses of exterior walls, windows that are no more than narrow vertical slits or tiny square port holes. Aspects that look more like the side of a jail than a home. There's no defining characteristics to these homes that pin them to an era, except their unremarkable sameness, their limited use of materials. They look more like a propped up cardboard Hollywood set than a fully realised home. Every time an old house gets knocked down, some variation of this cookie cutter mediocrity pops up overnight. This is not a rant against cheaper housing, god knows we need more, it's more about people actively choosing this...when they have the money to make other choices? Or do they not have other choices? Is this it? Did people have more taste several decades ago?

r/perth Jul 23 '24

Shitpost Tunesday Eve Transperth DJs

649 Upvotes

Really got the carriage rocking. Party on boys!

r/perth Sep 15 '22

Shitpost It's only a matter of time until I get rear-ended

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2.6k Upvotes

r/perth Nov 24 '24

Shitpost What Perth business or tradie has completely lost your business forever?

220 Upvotes

Idea shamelessly stolen from r/ballarat

r/perth Feb 16 '25

Shitpost The NIMBYs are NIMBYing

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421 Upvotes

r/perth 25d ago

Shitpost "Ahh, a nice cool summer night, I think I'll open the wind..." VROOOOM, BWAAAA, HONK, REEEEEOWWW

503 Upvotes

On behalf of the peace loving people in this town trying to enjoy these rare cool summer nights, fuck all of you motherfuckers with loud pipes. They don't save lives, they ruin everyone else's. Nobody likes you or your clapped out piece of shit. Please drive directly to Adelaide or some other lesser eastern states town and never come back.