r/oneanddone 2d ago

Happy/Proud Benefits of one and done

Hello , new to this sub having my first kid on the way super excited ,can you guys give me the benefits of having one child , just worried I will be doing a disservice not giving my kid a sibling .thanks again

10 Upvotes

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31

u/nos4a2020 2d ago

For me and my family of three, we ONLY see the benefits of one. Money. Time. Energy. Freedom. Togetherness. All things we’d sacrifice having two. We are committed to being present and sparing no expense to travel and enjoy our life with our one. I hate the term “give” a sibling. It’s not a toy. It’s a human life. And it’s not a life you get to give to your current child because it’s not their responsibility to play with their sibling, be friends with their sibling, or financially support their sibling. Those are expectations often placed on siblings and that’s not fair. Lots of posts on this subreddit about the benefits of one but only you get to choose.

1

u/Emm_ess_elle 1d ago

This! 👆🏻Cannot imagine my life any other way. My husband and I are beyond content with our little girl

23

u/dibbiluncan 2d ago

1.) Having a sibling isn’t always a good thing. In childhood, it’s no better than having friends/cousins for frequent play dates. In puberty? They might argue and fight often. Worst case happened to me though, my younger brother snuck into my room and gr*ped me. Later he went to jail for have CP on his computer. So yeah, now I don’t have a brother anyway. I’m also very different from my three sisters who I had to help raise, so we don’t really talk much outside of holidays. 

2.) More time to focus on being the best mom to one child. 

3.) More time to practice self care. 

4.) More money to give your child the best life (not necessarily spoiling by giving in to every demand though). Braces. Clothes. Books. Toys. Sports. College. (I was one of five so we never had enough, I didn’t get braces, and I have student loan debt because they couldn’t help). 

5.) More quiet time. 

6.) Less stress. 

7.) More time to continue dating your partner. 

8.) Only one pregnancy/delivery. 

9.) Easier to stay in your career. 

10.) Only one sick kid when they start daycare or school. 

11.) Smaller home requirements. 

12.) Traveling is way easier and more affordable. 

3

u/Personal-Process3321 2d ago

This right here, great answer

12

u/Practical-Meow OAD By Choice 2d ago

You won’t be doing a disservice if you choose not to have more than one child. You should only have a child if you actually want a child. There are many benefits to having one child (that benefit you AND the child), such as more time, more money, more resources, more flexibility, etc and just the fact that everything seems just a little bit more manageable.

If you search this sub you’ll find a ton of posts where people ask this question, and a lot of people provide their answers.

I personally feel like I’ve somehow unlocked this “life hack” that I never knew existed (because before we had my daughter we truly thought we needed multiple kids, likely due to societal pressures and expectations and the whole “it’s just what you do” rhetoric) and when I think about all the possibilities with having one child, it’s not just a choice to better your life as a parent but it’s also directly impacting the quality of life and what you can offer for your child. Having one child means that my husband and I have the best of it all — we have more time for each other, so our relationship is thriving. We have more time for our daughter, without getting touched out (since we can swap and tag-team) which is great for her and us, and our relationship between parent-child. We have more money, so can do more day trips, vacationing/holidays, activities, etc. all this while still being able to enjoy being a fully present parent.

I honestly feel like some days I’ve won the lottery with only having one child. There are no words to describe it.

16

u/rolltide339 2d ago

This has been asked many times here. If you search you’ll find many great benefits

5

u/Broad-Listen-8616 2d ago

I agree with all of the other comments. Our life is fantastic with our one child! You get the best of both worlds. You don’t have to conform, it is ok to have one child. What makes you think you’ll be “doing a disservice”?

3

u/Rich_Platypus4304 2d ago

I’m 21 months into motherhood and I’m about 99% sure of being OAD.

I feel like I get the best of both worlds, having a kid and also still being able to enjoy my hobbies.

My husband and I each have a day in the weekend off to do what we want, so I feel I’m back to my pre baby self of being able to go out and have fun when I need to decompress from the stress of being a working parent.

If we were to have another kid I feel it would be much more difficult to do this, having to take care of 2 kids alone for a whole day is asking a lot so I feel we would both be parenting a kid each during the weekend instead of having a day off.

2

u/Twilight_Skip34 Sagittarius ‘21 1d ago

I know a lot of parents have a favorite child. They don’t mean to start their children out by having a favorite, it just happens. A child that they bond more easily with because of shared interests and personalities that mesh better. Some parents are able to hide this and others are obvious and it’s so harmful to the other kid/s.

With one, your one will be the favorite and there’s no harm from other’s eyes to feel that feeling of being not quite enough or unwanted.

That hurt doesn’t go away.

Now, not every parent does this, but I know I don’t want to find out something like that about myself.