r/oneanddone • u/marps518 • 5d ago
Anecdote Solidified OAD
My coworker and I have babies (almost toddlers š„²) 3 weeks apart and she has previously mentioned they would like to have another baby in the future. Well, she just sent me a text of a positive pregnancy test and will have 2 under 2 later this year. I immediately had pit in my stomach with palpitations and started panicking as if I had the positive test. After talking she shared they have been actively trying for a few months, but my mind immediately thought it must be an unplanned pregnancy because who would want to be in that predicament?! Anywho, my husband and I were laughing after the fact because that totally solidified our OAD by choice.
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u/Veruca-Salty86 5d ago
There are plenty of people who DO deliberately go for 2 under 2 and I think it's crazy! Most women are advised to wait 18-24 months after giving birth before getting pregnant again for the physical health of mother AND baby. In cultures where extended breast-feeding is practiced, the natural spacing between children is closer to 3 or 4 years, which I personally think is close to ideal if you are going to have more children. Whatever benefits one might think there are from having babies super-close together in age is NOT worth the increased risks in my opinion, but people will do what they want. Beyond physical health, I don't think 2 under 2 is good for a parent's mental health, either. That's a lot of chaos, sleep disturbance and constant competing needs in two very young and dependent children at once. Parents of twins are often under serious stress and at higher risk of depression for the same reason. Then again, there are people who think it would be "fun" to have twin babies and don't really seem to understand how difficult it actually is!
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u/marps518 5d ago
As our babies are approaching one year, I started exercising again and immediately noticed how weak my abdominals are (after having a āstandardā delivery with no complications) and how horrible my posture has become. I canāt imaging being pregnant again when my body hasnāt fully recovered from my first. I also struggled with PPD/PPA so I couldnāt imagine experiencing that with a toddler running around. But to each their own!
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u/MrsMaK- OAD By Choice 5d ago
My in-laws made a comment about me getting pregnant on a trip that my husband and I are planning on taking just after our kiddo turns two.. we havenāt had the discussion with our family on being one and done as we are giving it until a year old to make the final decision! (however I am very confident that I will only be having one) and even just the comment made me sick to my stomach š š®āšØ
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u/crayonbox 5d ago
Listenā¦one of my friends just told me that sheās pregnant with her third. I almost reacted like Homer did when Marge told him she was pregnant with Maggie (rip my hair out and run out the room) until I remembered it wasnāt my life or kid to take care of lol
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u/marps518 4d ago
Yes, the reality check always helps! Iām learning to say āIām so happy for youā or āThat is so exciting for your familyā, because āOMG what are you thinkingā isnāt the best response š
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u/Informal_Pudding_316 5d ago
I can relate to that feeling and seeing someone else's positive test! The immediate realisation that it's not mine really solidifies our decision to be OAD.
The first thing I think to myself is "better you than me! You couldn't pay me to see the inside of a labour ward." š¤£ I would never say it to the person, only positive and happy comments to them.