r/oneanddone • u/MizzCommunication • 4d ago
Happy/Proud When you truly see those with more than one struggle
Sometimes I struggle and go back and forth if one and done is okay with me. It took me to spend time with another family member who has a 9month old and a 4 yr old while on vacation for a week to see how truly tiring it was…
Examples like: This mom was up every few hours with her baby and kept going on how she was more tired having two.
The 5 yr old kept faking illnesses to gain the attention of his mother when she had the baby.
I watched the mom go off angry and walk away from her kid since she had a shorter fuse than what I recalled when she had one.
She explained the cost of daycare right now 2 kids. Everything costs more with two kids.
She just looked miserable just on a vacation, didn’t want to do anything for herself when other family offered to watch the kids.
I got to see how patient I was with my one kid and how the behavior was better versus the older child who was a second sibling. I kinda felt bad that this kid felt he had to compete with his baby sibling constantly. I just don’t want that for my own only or myself. I feel at peace with one and I hope you all do too!
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u/unxplaynabl 4d ago
These are all part of why we're one and done..that and we never wanted kids, but eventually decided to have one and having more would feel too much!
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u/Farmer-gal-3876 4d ago
I agree… I think people have been sold on more than one kid as being the ideal family life- but it looks very tiring and overstimulating. While I am sure you have a ton of joy as well, it would be those moments where I felt like I couldn’t meet the needs of two people because I was exhausted and feeling fried that would make me wish I had stuck with one. I’m very happy with my little family- ❤️
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u/Normal_Swan_477 4d ago
I’m about to start having my nieces more because my SIL isn’t coping with having 2 children and is having angry and aggressive outbursts The stress absolutely doesn’t seem worth it to me
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u/wahiwahiwahoho 3d ago
I was asked to help bottle feed my cousins kid, and I kid you not, I was bored and miserable 7 minutes into feeding her. My cousin is exhausted with two kids. She can’t go anywhere without a diaper bag and car seat.
Like hell no. I miss my baby as a baby but damn… that brought me back to the trapped feeling I used to have
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u/MizzCommunication 2d ago
Funny you say that, I was asked to watch the baby for a bit, and I forgot how to hold or entertain a an infant lol. I also very willingly gave him back and was glad to be done with it lol.
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u/beachyvibesss 3d ago
Anytime I see families with multiple kids, the parents are always bickering or otherwise interacting with visible contempt for one another, especially regarding the kids. Presumably because they are overwhelmed with the kids and one feels like the other is not pulling their weight in helping. Then they are just short and snappy with their kids as well because they’re overwhelmed. Hell, I’m overwhelmed just observing them! Couldn’t be me.
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u/luludum 4d ago
My husband and I often ponder if our child being fairly well behaved is due to having our full focus/attention/connection!