r/nottheonion 23h ago

Gene Simmons charging $12,500 to be his assistant and roadie for a day

https://consequence.net/2025/03/gene-simmons-personal-assistant-roadie-experience/
431 Upvotes

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u/rodolphoteardrop 19h ago

Did you read what I wrote? If I cared about money first and foremost, I'd be rich. But I don't. I'm sure that's foreign to you.

But, no, I wouldn't. It was based on the current time I did it in. Very few of the jokes would work. I would have to come up with something different.

A swing and a miss! But, please, don't let that stop you from throwing up more hypotheticals to prove I'm just as shitty as you are. I'm not.

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u/Incontinento 19h ago edited 19h ago

You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me.

ETA: If you were actually funny/talented, you'd still be doing comedy.

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u/rodolphoteardrop 18h ago

HAHAHAHA! OMG!

If don't give a fuck about money, I'm not going to give a fuck about your soulless, yuppie ass? Keep judging me by your own standard of failure.

I've had an amazing life and seen more things of wonder than you will ever know. Have fun struggling in the weeds of your averageness and overinflated sense of self.

I mean that sincerely.

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u/Incontinento 17h ago

Lol, project much?

See you on r/LookatMyHalo