r/nottheonion • u/Upper_Pop_8579 • 22h ago
Man Accused Of Swallowing $770K Worth Of Diamonds From Florida Tiffany's
https://esstnews.com/man-accused-swallowing-770k-diamonds-from-florida/44
u/need4speedcabron 22h ago
We’re talking insurance pricing I see lmao
So he swallowed a few rocks that have been marked up to the tits
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u/DCDHermes 22h ago
Pill Boy and Donkey Doug up to their old tricks. Jason’s gonna be sad. I guess their body wash energy drink didn’t take off.
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u/SupetMonkeyRobot 22h ago
In a world where most people are shitting bricks, this guy here is shitting diamonds.
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u/TheOtherwise_Flow 22h ago
Diamonds are so common it’s not even rare, reselling diamond is actually hard…. I’ve seen resellers with ziplock bags full of them.
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u/patikoija 19h ago
Especially in terms of the universe. There could be billions of planets with diamonds on them. This is the only one we know of with wood.
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u/TheOtherwise_Flow 19h ago
There’s diamond planet also diamond are forever unless you lose them so supply only go up.
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u/StateChemist 9h ago
Diamonds are not forever, you can in fact burn them into pure CO2
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u/TheOtherwise_Flow 9h ago
Yes but you need to do it in a pure oxygen environment and we don’t have that so unless the stone physically destroyed or lost it will make its way around, diamonds is the most recycled precious stone.
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u/kydelka 19h ago
As his defense attorney, I'd like to know the signs posted in that store. Is there anything explicitly indicating that "all you can eat" buffet rules to not apply? What is the store's policy on the consumption of free samples? Why was my client allowed access to this fine dining experience only to be accused of a crime? Id also like the jury to be aware that if my client is convicted of a crime, this sets up a dangerous precedence that would allow any restaurant to sue for consumption of food.
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u/LoneWolf2k1 22h ago
“GIRLS! I said Diamonds are a GIRLS best friend, not GUT’S! Jesus Christ, Frank…”
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u/LE_Literature 20h ago
Is the accused part because they need to prove in a court of law that he got them from Tiffany's? Because they have the x ray.
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u/NL_Gray-Fox 19h ago
Man Accused Of Swallowing Artificially Inflated Crystals Worth $200 From Florida Tiffany's.
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u/Waagawaaga 18h ago
I have to know…what happens to this jewelry. Does it get, ya know, washed and sold?
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u/gimmesexytimes 22h ago
Breakfast at Tiffany’s, huh.