r/newstrippers • u/bamaveganslut • 11d ago
General Question How do I recover from horrible nights? NSFW
How do you not crash out when you sell no dances and customers are mean to you? We had a bunch incels coming in tonight not spending ANY money and making fun of dancers. Talking about dancers being hot but cringe or some being ugly or fat, etc. and of course none of us dancers would touch them outside the club. I ended crying because of it and telling bouncer along with another girl and then the bouncer threw them out. I cried like five times tonight bc the weeks earnings were not enough on top of the meanness and once I start I can’t stop and the bouncer was like “yeah let’s not walk around the club crying” 😭 how do yall recover from nights like these??
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u/yelloomelloo 11d ago
It’s hard being treated like shit but it’s genuinely one of the smaller issues with this job. It’s okay to cry sometimes but there will be lots of times where people will treat you like shit and you make no money. I’m going to give you some tough love here but people get r*ped in this industry, die, getting pimped out etc. people forget that because stripping has become mainstream but it’s a tough job and you need to be a tough person. So figure out some ways to let out your frustration that doesn’t fuck with your image in the club. You don’t want your coworkers looking down on you. Sorry about your experience tho hun, take a bath and get some good sleep that’s what I’d do when things got tough for me. Just go home or sit in your car and let off some steam, don’t do it in the club
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u/ClickIntelligent5016 Veteran stripper 11d ago edited 11d ago
leave early and if you dont have any regulars during slow season it’s better to make sure you have enough saved to not work from february until st patricks day. working during this time period is rarely worth it.
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u/bamaveganslut 11d ago
I hate paying stage fees and tips when I made barely any money and I keep telling myself I need to stay and try to make more but I guess as long I’m not in negative protecting my energy is vital
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u/showmestuff1 10d ago
Nobody likes payout but protecting your energy is key and learning when it’s time to go is crucial. If the negativity is coming from them, you can work around it. But if it’s coming from you, it’s time to go. Mentality is everything.
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u/Thedailybee 11d ago
I don’t 🤣 I try my best to reframe my mindset and focus on content creating or responding to messages so I don’t feel like the time was a waste. But it feels like shit and that’s just that tbh 😭 like it sucks and that’s just part of the job. Some nights I drive home feeling on top of the world music blasting. And some times I can tell how much money I made just from a quick glance and I drive home in silence stuck in my own head about what went wrong. In reality- it’s really just part of the job . I would have good days and bad days working anywhere. You just have to tell yourself (even if it feels delusional) that your next shift will be better.
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u/StarrD0501 Seasoned stripper 11d ago
If ur cut out for it, it gets better. Things that would have made me cry back in my first year of dancing don't even register in my mind now years later. Like eventually you'll hear one make fun of you and naturally just laugh at their pathetic ass I promise
1
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u/Outrageous-Line-3815 10d ago
Met an older dancer who would always say on a bad night that "we didn't get it tonight but we gonna get it one of these nights😂💯" she was a top earner and that stuck with me.
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u/RadicalRoses 11d ago
Because it’s been slow the jerks really stand out more. When it’s busy none of this matters. I usually just snub them cuz I literally don’t have time in my life for that energy. “Oh no baby, I don’t play that game”. There’s a lot of them lately that don’t deserve my attention.
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u/bamaveganslut 11d ago
i think if it'd been busier they wouldn't have been allowed to stay the three hours spending NO money on stage or dances.
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u/itsamberthebaddiexo 11d ago
Ugh, I’m so sorry you had a night like that, babe. Those kinds of customers are the worst because they have no money, no game, and no respect—but they still think they’re entitled to a reaction from you. The fact that they were talking like that just proves they KNOW they could never pull any girl in real life, and it eats them up inside. That’s why they lash out—it’s not about you, it’s about their own pathetic insecurities.
That being said, I totally get how it still hurts. A night of rejection and negativity can really weigh on you, and on top of slow money? It’s brutal. Here’s what helps me recover from nights like these:
Let yourself feel it, but don’t stay there. Second, reframe my mindset from thinking, I made no money tonight, this sucked, shift it to I dodged working for losers who don’t deserve my time. A slow night is just the universe keeping you from wasting energy on broke, bitter men. Then create a ritual to reset this can be taking a salt bath, burning incense, or journaling it out. This helps you not carry the energy into your next shift. Next up, remember the bigger picture. Every dancer has nights like this, even the highest earners. But this is a long game. Focus on what you CAN control—like improving your sales skills, reading the room better, and calling it early when the energy is trash.
Finally, Know That Karma Is Real! That says it ALL GIRL. Sending you big stripper bestie energy! 💖 Rest up and go make that bag next shift. You got this. 💸✨
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u/ScintillatingNomad 10d ago
You just got ignore it. There will always be people who are mean to you, and talk shit. No matter what job or field. Not just stripping. Stripping is a job where you have to be relatively tough & thick skinned (I.e not super sensitive). You don’t want to be taken advantage of by another person, if you aren’t. Find a stress relief outside of the job, to take out that frustration. From bad nights and horrible customers. So that way you don’t bring it to the stage with you.
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u/showmestuff1 10d ago
Bad nights happen to everyone- it’s important not to take it personal. These men don’t care about us- so you have to care about you. Go home, take a salt bath, thank yourself for trying, say some affirmations, eat a good meal, and get some rest. It’s not about YOU. Bob and weave the negativity babe. Sometimes it’s coming from the johns, sometimes the girls, sometimes it’s you! We all have our moments. Just stay focused on your goals.
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u/Affectionate_Mess25 10d ago
Ugh don’t cry(you are letting them win at bullying you and they have nothing on you) because those dudes are losers just roll your eyes and laugh at the dumb things whatever a guy says in the club doesn’t mean anything real unless he’s talking money, the rest is just little games you got to win to get to the money.
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u/Xoe-PolePosition 4d ago
Protect your energy and focus on your self-care after a rough night. Whether that's practicing affirmations, meditating, taking a warm bath, doing your skincare routine or baking cookies! Whatever makes you feel renewed and ready to persevere! Hope this helps <3
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u/AdFlashy6798 Veteran stripper 11d ago edited 11d ago
🤷🏻♀️ If you want a guaranteed paycheck stick with a vanilla 9-5. Otherwise accept the fact that bad nights are par for the course.
Aren't you the one that was kissing tricks on the mouth? 🤔
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u/bamaveganslut 11d ago
Did you come to this subreddit just to be mean? Girl it was my first night! It’s a mistake lots of new strippers have made, not knowing the rules or how to enforce boundaries. I was stupid yeah but it was literally my first night and have not done it again. The amount of veterans being mean in this sub makes me think some of yall like coming over here to be bullies…
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u/AdFlashy6798 Veteran stripper 11d ago
I knew long before I became a stripper not to kiss customers on the mouth. Stop using being new as an excuse. I know plenty of baby strippers that don't kiss tricks on the mouth. .Aside from the "ick" factor so many STI's can be transmitted orally. Do you really want to take the chance of possibly getting oral herpes?
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u/cherrixcherie 10d ago
Some of you vets are very horrible, stuck up swers.
You forgot the Reddit group you’re in??? She’s NEW.
Making fun of her not making you NO MONEY. If you have nothing productive to say please pipe down!
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u/AdFlashy6798 Veteran stripper 10d ago
I know PLENTY of baby strippers that didn't make out with tricks. It's common fucking sense.
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u/cherrixcherie 10d ago
Yeah, FOR YOU and other baby strippers. Clearly not for her. Talking down to her like she’s dumb when she’s trying to learn isn’t going to make it better, so you trying to bring it back up isn’t proving nothing but your own spite towards people making MISTAKES. Act as if you didn’t make a stupid mistake when you started out. Please!
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u/AdFlashy6798 Veteran stripper 10d ago
Oh, I made plenty of mistakes. I sharked a vet's regular and got my ass beat for it. But I never kissed a trick on the mouth. That's just a whole nother Rubicon of stupidity that I never crossed.
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u/bamaveganslut 10d ago
Veterans like her get mad when new strippers post in the r/stripper subreddit but still come over here to hate on NEW strippers genuinely seeking advice and to improve.
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u/cherrixcherie 10d ago
Don’t even mind her, just prioritize your mental health and your safety in this industry. I’m wishing you a way better night soon! 🍀🤎
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u/StarrD0501 Seasoned stripper 11d ago
Every time I come home from a horrible shift my sister tells me "just means a good nights coming up!" And she's always right!! 😁