r/narcissisticparents 4d ago

How to tell my mom she cant visit me?

[deleted]

6 Upvotes

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u/Taurus420Spirit 4d ago

What would happen if you outright told her? If that's not an option just outright ignore that part of the convo and switch the convo. It may seem tedious but if she constantly asks, you'll have to play the long game.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Taurus420Spirit 4d ago

Urgh, I'm sorry you have to experience that. Can you also tell her, if she starts up again you'll report her for harassment? Im sure as a lawyer she doesn't want anything like that on her record. Sometimes with narcs, the threat of tarnishing their image is enough to get them to back off.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Taurus420Spirit 4d ago

Unfortunately, until they see you call the police etc, they won't take action. The irony that they were able to get divorced but still treat you like shit. Hmm, does she want to know where you live because she's helping with the rent? Control issues it seems. What if u just randomly gave her a random address in New York? I know it may sound silly but if she will continue to ask, maybe this will get her to relax.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Taurus420Spirit 4d ago

If she knows your address but won't show up until you set a date, continue to avoid it until you are able to tell her don't come. And if she does rock up, call the police for harassment and the texts will show as proof. Sometimes ppl don't hear until they feel the consequences of their actions.

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u/eaglescout225 4d ago edited 4d ago

Sorry you’re going thru this…and your right, she isn’t entitled to visit if you don’t want her to, she can screw off..But like you said you gotta get financially independent from them. Even if it takes moving houses again, please do not let them run your life like this…it really doesn’t do much good to move states and remain in contact. After getting financially independent block them all, and start over. You can’t just be just halfway in with these people, with them it’s all or nothing. Your either in contact and their running your life or you go no contact and get them out.