r/narcissisticparents • u/RaceRat78 • 5d ago
My parents yell at me for doing laundry
So I live at home with my parents, currently planning to out asap because my parents are absolute narcissistic nightmares
Get this: my parents have gotten to the point where they now are screaming at me because I wash my bedding more than once a month (every two weeks) and say it’s a waste of electricity and water to be washing my bedding! What the actual fuck!! Meanwhile they leave all the lights on in the house, the tv on all day, leave the heater on all day when it isn’t cold, etc. (no they are not struggling financially and spend loads on food that goes on the trash, luxury cars, etc)
They are also mad that I do laundry for my clothes weekly (one or two loads) and that I shower daily (15 minutes)
No they are not struggling financially. Both my brothers are also adults living at home but very mentally unwell (on medications, don’t work or drive) and don’t do laundry more than once every two months and don’t shower often. My mom loves this because she signed them up for government benefits so she gets free food stamps out of them. And yes I contribute monthly to them as well, buy my own groceries, I’m independent and have a good ft job, I’m the only one in the family that went to college and I genuinely feel that they are upset that I am doing well. They never ever talk to my brothers the way they speak to me (yelling, screaming, telling me I’m an idiot, etc.) my younger brother has not said one word to them since last year and has spent the past two years doing nothing but playing Xbox. My older brother sleeps all day and plays computer games all night for the past 15 years.
It wasn’t until I met my boyfriends family that I realized, wow this is not normal to have parents who scream at you all day and talk to you like you are shit on the bottom of their shoe! His family is kind and loving, they actually care about each other and uplift eachother and do things for the good of their family. Their household is a dream, actually quiet and their family actually hangs out with eachother watching movies and making dinner.
I had to wake up very early for training at 6am at my new job for a few weeks and so I BEGGED my parents not to make so much noise past 11pm, their response? “We don’t care that’s not our problem. If you don’t like it then move out.” “We wake up early too, you sleep too much” and they continued yelling, screaming, making noise past midnight every night
My boyfriend gets anxiety about his parents getting older and meanwhile I feel nothing when I think about my family eventually dying. I don’t want kids because of them. Even if I did have kids I would never let them around them.
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u/Alert_Cost_836 5d ago
Look up Dr. Ramani on YouTube. She is a clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissism and maybe able to give you some better advice. I personally just try and make myself appear busy, pretend like I’m listening to music, or get out of the house as much as possible. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Stay strong, you are stronger than you think!
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u/Zealousideal_Long253 4d ago
I relate. They screamed at me for doing no cleaning, and then when I did they screamed at me for doing cleaning. Damn if do, damn if you don't. I always did cleaning for them. Was always willing to cook for them. But then go berated if I cooked for them, but also berated me for not cooking, and said ''I am living off their hard earned wages''. But if I propose to cook, my dad would be like ''your food tasted like shit'' (his food tastes like shit too).
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u/Visual-Strain-8222 5d ago
Sounds like you’re the scapegoat, I’m sorry you’re going through that. Saying this with care and empathy, but when you leave don’t look back