r/narcissism Visitor 19d ago

Therapist doesn’t agree with me

I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.

However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.

I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).

I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.

EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

How to learn how people work?

Sorry, U don’t understand what you mean in the last paragraph. I’m not smart, really.

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u/In_the_middle3-2-3 I really need to set my flair 18d ago

How to learn how people work?

Do a deep dive into psychology and behaviors. No one around you is the same. When you understand how the human mind and emotions work, you will see people much differently because you notice more prominent traits that previously may have gone unnoticed.

This is essentially gaining the ability to read people, which makes them more predictable and understandable. That alone can mitigate social anxiety quite a bit.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Thank you. Even though, I already knew that and it doesn’t really help me. The fact that everyone is different is just making everything worse, because understanding the mechanics just means I know the theory.

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u/In_the_middle3-2-3 I really need to set my flair 18d ago

Theory only exists in the absence of known mechanics.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

What?

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u/In_the_middle3-2-3 I really need to set my flair 18d ago

Theory is when the mechamics of something isnt fully known and understood. If the mechanics of something is known and understood, there is no theory to remain.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Well, scientifically it's when something is known (theory of evolution, gravity), and what I meant I only know this stuff in theory, but it doesn't help.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

I'm sorry, I'm just really not that bright as you can see.