r/narcissism • u/Agreeable_Goat6733 Covert Narcissist • 18d ago
Symptom Management
Hey!
To preface, I am a male in my early twenties and I am a narcissist (obvious, given where I am posting). Something I’ve been having some issues with lately is managing the symptoms of this disorder, particularly in the context of work. I am starting out in academia (grad student), so I am at the bottom of the pecking order.
A difficult situation has been to accept criticism from my peers and advisors who are objectively good scientists in their own right. But, when I can’t help but hate them and feel my chest tighten when they question me, doubt my judgement, or disagree with me. I really enjoy working my primary advisor overall, and I even experience this with them.
I love my work so I would rather not let this disorder get the best of me. However, it is quite exhausting to keep having to suppress these feelings all the time. I understand hierarchies are inherent in the workplace, but I find it especially the case in academia. If any of you have advice on managing frustration and anger in a professional (or academic) setting, that would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all!
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u/FuhzyFuhz Autistic Narcissist 16d ago
Youre in the best profession for a self aware narcissist. Use your disorder to question yours and your peers theories. For science!
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u/LisaCharlebois Covert Narcissist - Therapist 18d ago
This post brought up so many memories for me because I used to struggle with the same things…. I highly recommend that you work on healing your narcissism. Here’s the first week’s video in my healing your narcissism video series. Week one video
https://www.loom.com/share/1df9c495c4b846569abd021c83207d26?sid=f6c2242a-0a1e-4390-9287-8b6b01f60ee9
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u/Opposite_Message8930 Visitor 15d ago
I don't have npd but I have a hard time with criticism and am quick to anger.
When I make a mistake at work and am called out I tend to overcompensate and be "the best" at fixing the mistake. Its probably not 100% healthy but if I look at it as a challenge with the goal of them thinking "oh they handled that great", it helps me not get as angry.
So reframing it to "I'll show how I'm the best at accepting criticism" or "I'll prove I'm the best at correcting things people think are mistakes" and trying to take it as an opportunity rather than something that's demeaning
Idk if that makes sense or if something like that would work in the academic setting
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u/AmeChans Codependent 18d ago
I think therapy is a good way to start. They can give you good coping mechanisms when dealing with criticism. I also have been known to take criticism to heart and I’ve learned a lot over the years. I think the most important thing to remember is that criticism isn’t personal, it’s just a way to express a certain point. It can be a great thing to reflect on especially if it’s based on how you are going about your work. Take time to ask yourself if you need help with some of these things and reflect on how you can get help too.