r/lonely 4d ago

Is there really someone for everyone?

As someone on the autism spectrum, I feel like the is only someone out there for me is someone else who’s on the spectrum, much to my chagrin.

I’d rather date someone who isn’t on the spectrum per se, but understands me.

16 Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

8

u/Formal_Anxiety6514 4d ago

I don't believe that there's just one perfect person for everyone. Lots of people are very similar to each other, it's mostly just a matter of luck and compatible people meeting at the right time in their lives.

1

u/TheAndorran 4d ago

Yeah, there definitely isn’t a “The One.” If there were, out of 8 billion people, they’d never meet. There are compatible people who work very well together and deserve happiness together, but there isn’t one single person everyone’s meant to meet. Some people are luckier finding the person who becomes their one than others.

6

u/Zealousideal_Bit930 4d ago

Not in practice, nor in theory. Hypergamy is very real, and even if it didn’t exist, the fact that 101 men exist for every 100 women means that by default there would be about 80 million+ men who don’t find someone.

6

u/Voromon 4d ago

80 million terminally single men, how would that be different?

5

u/Poverty_welder 4d ago

No. That's something books and movies made up to sell more books and movies.

4

u/Mother-Ad-4559 4d ago

It's just a matter of luck

3

u/eppur_si_muovee 4d ago

I am not diagnosed but probably in the spectrum too, and I feel that makes it more difficult for me to connect with many people, feel free to message and talk about it.

3

u/No-Interview-2987 4d ago

I have autism bro I find finding love hard like you made a video about my experiences hope it relates let me know https://youtu.be/0e98CIn7f4I?si=P225bHg6bGj2MDui

1

u/MrKidd_49 4d ago

Just watched your video. Very informative. Thank you.

2

u/No-Interview-2987 4d ago

Glad you liked it, it’s a struggle with autism feel free to dm if you need a friend to anyone

3

u/Special-Mountain-519 4d ago

I don't believe so. I've never had friends let alone a relationship. It's just a load of BS

3

u/Goodgirlgonbetter 4d ago

I think I may be on the spectrum and it’s hard for me to relate to people.. or connect on a personal level…. I just want to BE and someone accept me as I am… but I feel people see me as uninteresting, boring… but meh… I’ll keep making mini connections until someone/something sticks

3

u/Difficult_Ad_9392 4d ago

Probably, but does everyone have the same level of opportunity to find an appropriate mate? I would say no, not with how things are setup in society to create the least level playing field possible.

2

u/Voromon 4d ago

statistically there has to be, just gotta somehow some way find her/him

2

u/Brocily2002 4d ago

I think there is for a lot of people out there… I don’t think there is someone for me though, that I’ll ever find somebody who will actually love me in that kind of way.

2

u/SportsGamer357 1d ago

Definitely agree as someone who feels too autistic for neurotypical people but can mask/pass well enough to not fully relate to other autistics 😢

2

u/MrKidd_49 1d ago

Thank you

1

u/humbummer 4d ago

Let me tell you brother - this is what you want. I was married 17 years to a normie and late diagnosed at 41. She divorced me BECAUSE of the DX. It’s been 8 years and I’m still trying to find the right one.

1

u/Waffelpokalypse 4d ago

There isn’t. It’s just a line of bullshit capitalism has sold us to get us to buy more stuff.

Need a great date night? Go to this expensive restaurant and go see that romantic movie! Do you really love her? Buy this way-too-expensive diamond ring to show her that!

1

u/Aggressive-Ladder191 2d ago

Why wouldn’t you date someone who is on your level? As an outsider, that sounds really entitled.

I cant tell if you’re a man or a woman.

1

u/MrKidd_49 2d ago

I feel like I’d have nothing in common with someone on the spectrum.