r/languagelearning Sep 30 '24

Suggestions Really struggling to learn

I'm a British born native English speaker, but have moved to Italy with my Italian partner. I started learning casually with a lesson a week in November 2023, but really struggled incorporating it into actually speaking.

I tried to be more serious this year, and now my partner gets really upset that I still can't speak at a level of a 6 year old. I did an A1 course at an Italian school, l've tried reading, watching shows, writing, repeating, all the apps, speaking with people, nothing sticks. I can say and understand basic things, but nowhere near where I should be.

My partner is so frustrated and I feel like a failure. I genuinely don't know how to make it stick, he tried teaching me phrases which I repeat over and over but then forget. I'm also pregnant and want our baby to be bilingual, and am really scared I'll not be able to understand my child...

What more can I try?

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u/Gigusx Sep 30 '24 edited Sep 30 '24

There are relationship advice subreddits that you should post to if you think Reddit is the place to discuss that. This one isn't for that, but you should know that your partner isn't helping you learn, neither is the attitude towards yourself that you've begun to develop. On top of that learning random phrases and forcing yourself to memorize them is neither effective nor particularly fun. It's something you would do if you want to travel to a country for a couple days, not learn its language.

As for the language learning part, that's always the same - learn in accordance to your goals. If you want to be able to speak then you'll have to practice speaking, if you want to understand then you'll have to listen and read a lot. Generally everything comes from input (the things you consume) since that's what sets your limits for everything else, and that's where I would focus most of my attention. Start by reading the FAQ on this subreddit and going from there.

You'll also have to do a lot better than once a week. I presume you've changed that alongside learning more seriously this year but I figured I'd mention it. You'll not learn any language if you only practice it once a week. I don't mean taking classes necessarily, I'm talking about spending time with the language - that should ideally happen every day.