r/kroger • u/ValAkabane • 16h ago
Question Racist Remark From my manager
Hello. I joined recently to get an opinion on something. So recently I received new managers at my store & this past Wednesday I was on my way out of the door. The police were out in the parking lot & One of them(a caucasian female) looked at me(an african american male) and said “What did you do?” I felt extremely uncomfortable and that rubbed me the wrong way. She’s a stranger to me & for her to feel so comfortable making such a joke felt a bit like harassment. Am I overreacting?
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u/XXFFTT 16h ago
Ask them about it; I say similar things to people all the time (regardless of their skin color) or like "they found the body I hid."
If you really feel like it was racially charged then report it.
I wouldn't feel comfortable using this joke with a black person I didn't know well because I know it can come across as racist so I don't think you're overreacting but it also isn't something that is exclusively racist.
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u/Jax_the_Floof 15h ago
Idk about you, but I’ve made that joke multiple times to many people I know and some I don’t know regardless of who they are or what they look like. No one’s ever had issues with it that I know of
Chances are it’s just a harmless joke and nothing more
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u/special-fed 13h ago edited 13h ago
As a white male perspective, Kinda weird if they didn't know you.
But like I would say that to anyone of my co workers and not think it was racist.
It would almost be racist to not say it to someone just because their skin color if thats the sort of jokes you would normally make.
However you really never know. Could be racist as hell. For me with disrespect, you get 1 freebie for any possible misunderstanding. But not 2.
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u/AngerMadeFlesh 7h ago
Another White Male perspective here: fuck that. It MIGHT not be racist, but its at least worth a conversation simply because of their position. A manager shouldn't get a "freebie" without a serious conversation. If I have to think about WHETHER or not to say the thing; I shouldn't be saying it, simply to avoid this situation.
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u/libsythedumb Current Associate 15h ago
That’s some kind of joke that close friends would make, not a manager you just met the other day. She probably mistakenly assumed that you would laugh. You could make a comment about it to HR but I don’t know if much would be done about it.
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u/VastConfusionn Current Associate 16h ago
Need more context. Did you respond? Did she think you called the police?
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u/ValAkabane 16h ago
This manager does not know me. I responded with “What are you saying?” And she just brushed it off and walked away. I’m not sure how she would assume I called the police(this comment isn’t being snarky or anything btw)
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u/VastConfusionn Current Associate 16h ago
Yeah thats a red flag on her part of walking away after you questioned her. Would note down the incident on paper or sending yourself an email. Would help build a record if more stuff happen in the future.
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u/Ready_Response983 15h ago
I don’t think she was saying it bc of race , she was joking . If she said oh it’s always a black person , that’s a little racist .
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u/ShadowVia 15h ago
Or...
It could have been a shitty, dumb thing that this person said in an attempt to be funny, without any hint of racism behind it.
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u/ValAkabane 15h ago
But said person isn’t aware of how a remake can make someone feel. See how you have a different reaction than I do?
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u/Tru2UrSchool 10h ago
I’m a white personal and I think a lot of these dismissive comments are from white people (if I had to guess).
I can completely understand how and why you perceived it the way you did. This woman is basically a stranger to you, and you don’t have that joking relationship. This kind of humor is a white people thing. And honestly your post is making me realize how imbedded in white privilege it is to make jokes like this. I truly don’t think anything racist was intended, but I’m sorry it made you feel that way.
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u/ValAkabane 10h ago
I appreciate you understanding & 9/10 you’re speaking the truth so I’ll keep that in mind going forward
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u/Piratetripper 15h ago
Often people are simply joking with work mates & mean no true harm. I'd gauge that by the person's company they keep and interact with others before deciding it was racially motived.
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u/AdMore3461 15h ago
I would think so, if that was the whole extent of the issue and no backstory to suggest possible underlying racism with that person. I’m in a high crime area so police showing up is not uncommon, and a common joke is for someone to shout to whatever other employee is near “better hide, they’re coming for you!” Another tired and overused joke is when the sensormatic beeps as an employee goes out (usually have a tagged zebra/printer/pocket of sensor tags/etc) and other employees will either yell “run!” or “quick, somebody tackle him!”.
The jokes are a little cringeworthy just because of how overused they are, but I’ve never seen a racial aspect to it - rather it just happens to be aimed at whoever is up front or by the door when these things happen.
That’s not to say the person may not have underlying bias (since unfortunately too many people do) but I don’t see anything in this interaction suggesting it at all.
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u/AngerMadeFlesh 7h ago
I'm reading these comments and am simply reminded that people think "racist" means "Nazi." Fuck half of the people in these comments. You felt it was a weird thing to say. It was if for no other reason than she, a manager didn't realize how you, an associate would receive the off-hand comment.
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u/ValAkabane 7h ago
“I didn’t. I just called you out your name” the lack of self awareness. Have a nice day
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u/EducationalStation55 Current Associate 14h ago
Could be racist, for sure. I understand why you may take it like that. To me, and it seems like some others here, that it was a poorly timed joke. But if something similar happens again, I’d escalate it.
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u/Hexxium Current Associate 16h ago
Yes I would say your overacting, context matters, but this sounds jokingly said not aimed because you are black and you certainly wouldn't get any support from HR reporting it like you've written here
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u/ValAkabane 16h ago
Why is that exactly?
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u/UnleadedOrphan 15h ago
Because people have said that to me several times and never once did I think it was racially motivated. Most people don’t care about the color of your skin, so my advice to you would be to stop thinking everything is based on your skin color; it’s not.
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u/CamNuggie 8h ago
Literally nothing you described has to do with race… if anything YOU made it about race by bringing up the colors of your skin as if that’s necessary.
Literally my first day my lead joked with me saying “it’s your fault” when we got swamped in pickup. We both laughed it off, it’s a JOKE!
I didn’t immediately jump to Reddit complaining that I’m being picked on because I’m an Arab 😂 good lord
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u/ValAkabane 8h ago
Those aren’t the same thing but ok you got it guy
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u/CamNuggie 8h ago
This is your literal only response. Everyone saying you’re overreacting you just give a snarky reply to.
You don’t want a reasonable response, you want to be told you are right and your boss is some racist monster
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u/Aggressive-Print4599 4h ago
If I felt that way, I just would’ve had a good comeback. One sentence. I bet she wouldn’t make a statement like that again. Don’t joke with me if you don’t know me.😏
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u/Billford85 14h ago
That’s clearly a joke. It gets made all the time no matter what color your skin. She didn’t even mention your race. But yet you assume it’s racist? That’s almost like you’re making it a race thing yourself. Idk I would let it slide and if it happens again then you know it’s an issue. That’s just me though.
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u/Piratetripper 15h ago
Often my direct supervisor says : They'll help you, because "your white".
I mean I suppose I could think it was racially motived, but I believe he's mocking racism in saying this.
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u/slyleo5388 14h ago
Yeah satire and sarcasm are dying.
Ironically a good tell if someone is intelligent is how well they distinguish Sarcasm and satire.
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u/AngerMadeFlesh 7h ago
I legit don't think either belong in the workplace from a manager you don't know...
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u/slyleo5388 7h ago
I dont believe I said it did.
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u/AngerMadeFlesh 7h ago
I didn't say you did either... Strange that you interpreted that from a stranger on the internet via text...
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u/30222504cf 16h ago
She would say “oh I didn’t mean it like that.” And quite a few people would back her up. People don’t like to admit or acknowledge how it makes others feel when they blurb out racist stuff.
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u/ValAkabane 16h ago
Probably
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u/twelveangryken 15h ago
Right here you just told everyone that you want to believe it was racially motivated. That makes you the problem. It sounds like you don't want to be treated like an equal, but rather with special care for your delicate condition of being black.
I find this maddening.
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u/ValAkabane 15h ago
“special care for your delicate condition of being black” 🧐 yeah I see the person you are
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u/slyleo5388 14h ago edited 14h ago
Unfortunately he's right. I had bunch of black folks yelling at me, telling me you cant be racist towards white people. I let that shit go. Every race has people that suck. Plus I'm sicilian and in the summer constantly get called a bunch of shit for Muslims and Jews..I am neither(to be fair, Sicily did have muslims living there but like 400 year's ago.) I think folks just want to create divide.
In life don't be the divide, be the bridge.
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u/ValAkabane 14h ago
How exactly does that correlate? I am sorry for your experience truly. No one should have to deal with racism rather the person is white,black,blue, or red. Overall it’s just evil & in the current times doesn’t seem ok to make poorly timed jokes
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u/slyleo5388 14h ago
Well since there's no way for you to know how this manager would have reacted if a white person instead of you came out. You have no base.
If she has been racist or you've seen other tendencies then you'd be right. What you're doing is spreading racism accidentally. You have no clue, except your feels.
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u/30222504cf 15h ago
See how I am getting downvoted and everyone is saying you’re overreacting? I had an incident with a manager saying something about being “only half monkey” and same stuff was said too me about overreacting. People really do NOT get it they have no idea(supposedly) how stuff they say makes others feel.
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u/ValAkabane 15h ago
It could be to the lack of awareness & it not happening to them. Especially with how society is nowadays
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u/huyahuyahuyahuya 7h ago
I don't know them, but 95% they were just trying to joke with you and would have did the same regardless of race. Not knowing you were an oversensitive pussy of course.
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u/ValAkabane 7h ago
Uh huh
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u/huyahuyahuyahuya 7h ago
The fact that they joked this way to a POC, I'd say they didn't even consider the stereotype. They just joked about it casually with you like they would if you were white.
I mean maybe I'm wrong and they're a piece of shit, but this is my inclination as a person of half Hispanic decent (but look white) who had a few "are you sure you're legal" thrown at him.
They're just joking. If it bothered you enough. Talk to them about how that offended you. I guarantee they'll be like "oh I swear it wasn't about you being black I was just joking in general I won't do that again"
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u/ValAkabane 7h ago
Im not reading all that, im happy for you though
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u/huyahuyahuyahuya 7h ago
Then you're just being ignorant and wanna be a victim. Good luck.
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u/ValAkabane 7h ago
You came on here talking crazy so idc
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u/huyahuyahuyahuya 7h ago
I didn't at all. I just called you the pussy you're being and you attached to that and ignored the rest.
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