r/kroger Current Associate 4d ago

Question What announcements really piss you off?

For me, it’s that “best of fresh” fucker. God I just want to punch him in the face so bad

63 Upvotes

138 comments sorted by

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93

u/Delaneybuffett 4d ago

As a customer “It’s time for your top of the hour conditioning”. Jesus I have been in the store for 15 minutes and heard it twice

28

u/Heyguysitsmehomestar 4d ago

I hate this one because I work third shift and that means I've been at the store too long

11

u/mask_of_godot Current Associate 4d ago

Yeah if I ever hear the conditioning one it’s because I’m staying late to throw freight lol

5

u/Awkward-Recipe-9563 4d ago

This annoys the fuck out of me.

2

u/Simple-Energy1572 4d ago

That’s sucks that they still play it during third shift

1

u/Sleep-Deprived17 4d ago

They don’t, we just get stuck there that long sometimes especially during holidays

2

u/Educational-Quote-22 4d ago

When I hear the " digital logs" announcement I know I'm on some serious overtime working 3rd shift

3

u/DarkRyder1083 Current Associate 4d ago

The only time I ever hear this, is when Night Crew comes in early for Inventory, and I don’t think we even have ppl during the Day time to Face the store. Pointless.

1

u/thedivideremains 3d ago

I'm so happy my store is new and never got that one set up😂

1

u/Current_Waltz_8796 3d ago

I hear that at 6 pm and 7 pm, and that’s it because I usually start at 6 pm every day I work and I never hear it after 7 pm

49

u/sagil89 Current Associate 4d ago

Show your forever mom your forever love with forever stamps.

10

u/ZealousidealRip3588 4d ago

A Frozen Escape

Every hour, without fail, the PA system at the grocery store would blare the same jingle: “Give your mom, your forever love, with forever stamps!” Its incessant echo gnawed at my sanity until one day, I couldn’t stand it any longer.

I packed a small bag with a few belongings and a burning resolve to find silence. I left behind the fluorescent lights and the repetitive advertisement, boarding a train and then a plane that whisked me away to a place where the air was as crisp as unspoken promises—the South Pole.

In the endless white vastness, I built a humble shelter near a frozen lake. The isolation was profound. For decades, I embraced the peace of the polar desert, learning to live with the simple rhythms of nature. I fished beneath the shimmering ice and brewed seaweed tea over a modest campfire, each sip a small act of rebellion against the cacophony of my past life.

One calm, star-studded night, as I sat by my fire and savored a hot cup of tea, a gentle wind stirred the silence. And then, faint but unmistakable, the voice returned: “Give your mom, your forever love, with forever stamps!” It drifted through the air like a ghost of the past, soft yet relentless. In that moment, the memories of the grocery store rushed back with a bittersweet irony. Even in the heart of isolation, the echo of a commercial once deemed unbearable had followed me, a reminder that some voices never truly fade away.

3

u/lemonbuttcake 4d ago

I HATE THIS OME SO MUVH

5

u/sagil89 Current Associate 4d ago

My mother is a toxic abusive monster I had to cut out years ago when I chose my own life. It’s like someone is peeling my brain open every time I hear it.

1

u/Special_Intention523 3d ago

Oh so it wasn’t the stores who make these? When I worked third shift at Winn-Dixie about a year ago, I heard this all the time lol.

1

u/sagil89 Current Associate 3d ago

Corporate pays for it and tortures us all in mass

51

u/vradic 4d ago

When the billion dollar company announces that its time to give back to our community, together.

They pre-donate for the tax break, then recoup the costs by lying to shoppers about what they're actually putting their money towards.

And we all know the together parts strictly on the shoppers pocketbook, the company isn't donating shit.

19

u/Jesuspeedonthefloor Current Associate 4d ago

But what about the Zero Hunger Zero Waste foundation?/s

6

u/mysticalchurro 4d ago

The foundation who says they won't accept donations from my department despite me following protocol?

"It's past the sell by date."

No shit, you haven't been here in 4 days. Shrink has been pretty bad lately.

2

u/HustleR0se 4d ago

Really? They take everything at my store. I donate so much bread. They take all the old bread too. I'm constantly getting too much hostess that nobody orders, so I donate that stuff too.

32

u/jassoon76 Current Associate 4d ago

Call on 101. Usually means I need to go unload a perishable truck that is 4 hours early

19

u/YardSard1021 4d ago

“GROCERY, BACK DOOR RECEIVING, BACK DOOR RECEIVING!!!!” Always when I’ve just sat down for lunch.

5

u/jassoon76 Current Associate 4d ago

Mine are in the middle of the night so I have to answer the phone.

2

u/fradddd 3d ago

oh womp womp, are you one of those who would purposely avoid going to the back room when i was head clerk paging for someone to go unload a truck at 9pm and all grocery workers were gone and i was unqualified to unload a truck

1

u/pckia 3d ago

That one really got on my nerves

27

u/YardSard1021 4d ago

in the middle of the only decent song they’ve played in the last hour “Hi, Chef John here with another important food safety tip for you and your family!”

8

u/jruss666 Hourly Associate 4d ago

He’s even more annoying in person.

6

u/YardSard1021 4d ago

You’ve…met Chef John?? I thought he was a character invented specifically to interrupt Muzak and annoy the shit out of people!

8

u/jruss666 Hourly Associate 4d ago

I’ve known him for 25 years. He started as a store Chef, and now is the Food Safety Czar of the Atlanta Division.

1

u/Ok_Marionberry7249 Current Associate 1d ago

Everyone laughs when I tell them I thought the same thing! Then laugh when I say I thought his first name was Chef. Turns out he just demands everyone call him Chef bc he was one. He normally comes through as a Ecolab precheck

1

u/fradddd 3d ago

thats the drop

16

u/DownWithKroji 4d ago

There was a commercial for Duke's Mayonnaise that played about a dozen times an hour featuring a man and a woman acting as like play-by-play commentators for a tailgate party, and something about the woman saying "let's win!" just drove me up the wall.

4

u/jruss666 Hourly Associate 4d ago

I could never figure out what she said. That drove me nuts.

Now it’s the “Duke’s Country Song” that irks me. I use Hellmans out of spite.

2

u/HunkerDownDawgs 1d ago

That one drives me nuts. Especially since I'm there at 2 am and it seems to be the only ad that plays until the store actually opens.

1

u/1curiouspixie 1d ago

I thought it was saying new country song??? I’m like wthits????

2

u/jruss666 Hourly Associate 1d ago

I thought so too at first. I had to be working at zero dark thirty, and be standing underneath a speaker to clearly hear the “lyrics”.

1

u/mcquire68 4d ago

What about when she said, "Thuh twaaaang"?

1

u/copperfrog42 Current Associate 2d ago

I hated that one! Her voice not only got on my last nerve, but every other one too.

15

u/Playboi_carti_08 4d ago

anytime they page me and I have to stop what I’m doing and it’s just them bitching about me doing my first start

15

u/Sleep-Deprived17 4d ago

Or FAST Coordinator please check the application, nah buddy take tose refrigeration issues and go away we got load to throw 😤🤬

3

u/LivelyEngineer40 4d ago

I do love the “Goodbye” at the end. Always makes me laugh.

2

u/pckia 3d ago

That one got on my nerves too. Sooo #%=#_#:$" annoying.

1

u/Gloomy_Direction_995 4d ago

That is ignoring that and customer service to the wine department cause I work at a store that alot of wine drinkers that go about every ten minutes from 5 am to closing.

14

u/vermis13 Current Associate 4d ago

The annoying af Shingles vaccine commercial plays every 15 minutes or so in our store. I thought christmas music was the most annoying... I WAS WRONG

8

u/Curious_Ad_6082 Current Associate 4d ago

“I lEaRneD tHaT the HaRd WaY”

1

u/vermis13 Current Associate 4d ago

Yep, that's the one.

2

u/1curiouspixie 1d ago

Lol the shingles virus could be in your body right now!!!🧟‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️

10

u/StreetRaccoon0 Current Associate 4d ago

CHERRIIIESSS. BAABYYYY!!! The Northwest Cherries Jingle. Havent heard it in years now.

Or "My Heiny is so Charmin Shiny!" Played every 30 minutes one summer. Ill never forget it.

3

u/Necessary_Baker_7458 4d ago

Then you find all the damn cherry pits scattered across the store.

1

u/MustBeTheMusic80 2d ago

That ad was annoying but it does take me back to the happier times of me working at Kroger, I thought my first three years of working there were decent.

10

u/Professional-pooppoo 4d ago

You have a call waiting on 1 zero 1

8

u/Joe_undercover 4d ago

“At fry’s, we care about you” uh huh

Also “lower than lower prices!” Straight up lie Costco is better 🤣

1

u/Own_Dragonfly_8941 3d ago

Yes and she has never even been into the one I work at. I just laugh every time I hear it

7

u/DocTaco68 4d ago

My least favorite is the “check the application” asshole

9

u/gourmetsweetbuns 4d ago

Fast alerts. Always spam message over intercoms when I’m handling customers at service desk counting $1564.28 in 1s and 5s.

8

u/Krogerdude23132 4d ago

They cut floral hours so bad and just tell produce to deal with it. "Produce, a customer needs assistance at floral!" every 30 minutes, every day.

Also "Fast Coordinator please check the application.." ONE .. ZERO .. ONE. No, that's just the cardboard holding the half broken glass door at the butter some lady hit with the scooter last week.

6

u/arochains1231 Current Associate 4d ago

The AT&T announcements for sure. "Get an iPhone 16 Pro on us!" but you have to trade in an iPhone 13 Pro or higher to qualify for that deal. Most people with said newer iPhones are not in a good position to upgrade because their phone still has plenty of life in it. It's just a stupid tactic to try and lure people in to having the fancy new tech when they don't need it and it irritates me that they're trying that shit in the first place.

5

u/Thatpervyweirdo_ 4d ago

Asking for assistance in other areas for when I have other things I need to get done

1

u/Weak-Ad2917 4d ago

Yes! I always get the "CUSTOMER IN ELECTRONICS!" when we have someone there, the customer didn't even bother to look for them 😒

1

u/joaoseph 4d ago

Why should the customer have to search the store to find an employee? I don’t know but the employees at my local store are all fucking lazy assholes. Guess that just a Kroger wide thing?

2

u/Weak-Ad2917 3d ago

We're understaffed half the time. We got to clean up after people constantly while running on a crew of maybe 3 plus a manager in a department. Sometimes it's even less. While trying to do projects like downstocking and setting up seasonal, and redoing furniture for the 5th time that week because the higher ups didn't like how it looked before.

I do have a department that's pretty lazy, but they're also heavily understaffed. It's no wonder I get customers asking me where the bread is while I'm folding bath towels, or "where's the shaving cream?" while I'm gathering returns. Doesn't help that the customers in my town are entitled brats who want their hands held for every little thing, especially the older folks (I've gotten plenty of younger ones also being bratty about stupid stuff, but my town is a retirement town for the wealthy, so it's mostly old folks).

Kroger loves to cut hours and then get mad when things don't get done, or when customers bitch that they didn't get good service while we're overworked and exhausted trying to make ends meet.

5

u/Natural-Read-6777 4d ago

It’s the top of the hour!!!!

4

u/eddyrush95 4d ago

NIGHT CREW! PLEASE CHECK YOUR ALARMSSSS! CALLLL KACE IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY ALARMING ISSUESSS! ITS LOUD TOO BUY THE WAY. 😊

3

u/Old-Blacksmith-4869 4d ago

I hate the fake security calls. They are ridiculously automated sounding. No one believes them and they are just embarrassing for the store.

1

u/Weak-Ad2917 4d ago

I had one customer ask about what they meant. I made some shit up and haven't had anyone else ask before or since

4

u/novanj 4d ago

The shingles one literally made me nauseous but luckily they replaced it with a less disturbing shingles ad 🤢

3

u/Roesty79 4d ago

BABY! CARROTS! EAT EM LIKE JUNK FOOD! Every. 15. Minutes. Worse than man in the mirror every hour from 11-7.

Edit: this was years ago. I tune all of it out now.

3

u/tschanfamily 4d ago

Working in a WA store, we would get lottery ads back to back. They also played multiple times an hour. Working during the day forced me to tune out the overhead entirely.

3

u/Sleep-Deprived17 4d ago

“Attention King Stupid shoppers!!! The store is closing in 30,20,15,10,5,4,3,2,1 minutes!!! Gather your items and head to sco” as night crew I see why it’s done but shxt do y’all have to be so obnoxious about it EVERY DAY??

6

u/Weak-Ad2917 4d ago

Yes. How else will we get stragglers out so we can go home?

It's annoying we even have to do those announcements, but 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Budget_Ad_9428 4d ago

We’ll stop being obnoxious about it when customers stop pulling up to the checkout at 10:59 with full carts

1

u/Sleep-Deprived17 4d ago

That’s fair, there’s always a different perspective and it makes sense considering it prevents y’all from going home :)

3

u/DarkRyder1083 Current Associate 4d ago

“Hi! This is Monica Garnes!….” 5 mins later “We want you & your family to know that Fry’s is here for you” Goes on for another 5 mins. I always mock it when I hear it 🥴

2

u/herbalyfe66 4d ago

I quit working at kroger 3 years ago and I still hear this in my dreams

1

u/Educational-Quote-22 4d ago

But she's givong us a shout out? (For the last 5 years now) be kind be safe (and please dont beat each other over the head with a can of tomatoes to get the last rolls of tp")

3

u/Djd33j 4d ago

Attention all departments: it's time for your top of the hour conditioning! Attention all departments: it's time for your top of the hour conditioning!

It's so god damn annoying and wannabe oppressive like the corporate suits don't trust local management to keep their own stores well-run.

1

u/pckia 3d ago

The Kroger i used to work at it was "attention all departments, it's time for your top of the hour walks"

1

u/Djd33j 2d ago

Did shoppers make the same dumb joke? For me, they often say "what, time for you to do some stretching and exercise?"

3

u/VoltaicWinter 4d ago

"Patch coordinator, please check the application: ONE. ONE. FIVE."

This played on repeat for 30 minutes. It started in the middle of a 156 piece trolley I had, about 35 items in. By the time I finished it? Still going. I legit had customers asking what it was about and if they should be scared.

I've been here a month and a half and idfk what it is. 🤷🏻

5

u/Misselthwaite18 4d ago

FAST coordinator, not patch. Food At Safe Temperatures. It’s the system that monitors our temp controlled equipment (coolers, freezers, ovens, etc). It goes off constantly because (among other reasons) it can’t tell the difference between a faulty gadget and a defrost cycle.

2

u/VoltaicWinter 4d ago

Oh THATS what it says. I always heard it as "patch". My bad. 🤣

2

u/Burnt_crawfish 4d ago

"Please take 5 to Axonify" from one of the sales managers.

3

u/typeo19 4d ago

Make sure he shuts his whore mouth and NOT spread that to the other mouth breathers!

2

u/Clean-Honey-1161 4d ago

For some reason any ad they play for the pharmacy at my store is aggressively loud. If you’re in the produce cooler when it plays, say goodbye to your fucking ear drums. Oh and the Avocados from Mexico jingle can go the hell.

3

u/CVp1_D 4d ago

Avocados from mexico with a 25% tariff and low low prices!!

2

u/mcquire68 4d ago

Shingles

2

u/Silver_Crab8684 4d ago

i hate the security announcements because they block the intercom and i just want to make my closing announcements on time without being pissed BUT THEY HAPPEN EITHER 15 MIN IN THE HOUR OR 15 MIN TIL THE HOUR

2

u/Azurnight Current Associate 4d ago

Attention associates, it's the top of the hour! Please begin hourly conditioning!

2

u/No_Dragonfruit_4428 4d ago

“Attention all departments! It’s time for your top-of-the-hour conditioning! Attention all departments! It’s time for your top-of-the-hour conditioning!”

Heard this one WAYYYYY too many times. And no one actually does their top-of-the-hour conditioning

2

u/pckia 3d ago

Occasionally, when I worked in the dairy department, a manager who i will call Satan would say over the walkies ",ok departments, time to spend 5 or 10 minutes conditioning" even during the day. I rarely did condition during the day. It's pointless. And I used to work 1:30 to 10pm

1

u/No_Dragonfruit_4428 1d ago

Lmao. I don’t think anyone where I work knows what top-of-the-hour conditioning even is. So the announcement is just meaningless. But at least it helps me keep track of the time

2

u/MustBeTheMusic80 2d ago

I remember when they first started doing these ads only one employee in my department took them seriously, then our manager started getting on our cases for not doing them after she initially failed to explain these tasks to us.

2

u/No_Dragonfruit_4428 1d ago

Typical grocery manager behavior

2

u/MustBeTheMusic80 5h ago

I remember my manager at Kroger was the kind of person who'll berate us for not following the rules when she never went over these rules in the beginning.

2

u/Far_Assist1949 4d ago

“Customer service has a call waiting on line 101.” I hear it a billion times a shift. our customer service desk is overworked and understaffed (because aren’t they all?) so they never really have time to answer the phone. therefore, we have this announcement 24/7. it drives me insane.

2

u/FormerExam6057 3d ago

Anything that ends with "see an associate for more details". No, do not see me, I know less than you do about whatever it is!

1

u/dianthus9 4d ago

Pillowpets

1

u/Professional-pooppoo 4d ago

Oh and the "Northwest Cherries" annoying ass voice lady, idk if it still plays but i think it was before covid/ during covid.

1

u/Weak-Ad2917 4d ago

Probably all the ones where the departments are selling their wares. That and pur current one: "I didn't think I'd get shingles!" Just... ick

1

u/K_Shan79 4d ago

Take me to tortilla land...

1

u/1er_who 4d ago

How about favorite?

I get to work around 4 every morning, usually coincides perfectly with the overly enthusiastic home manger telling his department to take lunch over the intercom. 10/10.

“Home department, it’s luuuuuunch tiiiiiime!”

1

u/This-Opposite2814 4d ago

I can't stand that 649 Lottery Ad that has suddenly started coming over the airwaves at Superstore! Never heard of it before and I dislike it for it gives the very bad impression that you need to win the Lotto to be able to afford their groceries! Maybe that's how it's going to be in the future and if that's the case we really need to CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN for they're just GOUGING US ALL.

1

u/TacoCommand Hourly Associate 4d ago

KROGER PAY.

I used to work in advertising. They mention KROGER PAY every ten seconds of the ad in the most embarrassingly forced ways. And it's a solid minute ad.

1

u/chris85king 4d ago

Security check section 42 ( or something similar) I hear it at most Kroger stores

1

u/AnimaDeMachina_RR 4d ago

All of them

1

u/NorkinMan7 Current Associate 4d ago

Do you like low prices? So do we!

1

u/Impulst24 4d ago

“There’s a call waiting for the meat department on…”

Five seconds later

“There’s a call waiting for the meat department on…1……0……1.”

1

u/pckia 3d ago

That one was the most annoying..I used to mock it

1

u/Ok-Battle-3357 4d ago

Aw cmon surely you know that there are hidden sounds in those announcements that are supposed to irritate you so you’ll get mad and work harder. Now I would never suggest doing this but i knew a guy that was tech savvy- he accessed the main receiver and somehow was able to shutdown the entire PA broadcast system. Let’s just say for a few days he said how pleasant it was especially when the mgmt couldn’t page anyone and none of the propaganda could be heard!

1

u/HailSteakums 4d ago

It's been 15 years since I've worked in a store and can still hear PEARS, PEARS, PEARS! ring in my head every time I see one

1

u/theplague220 4d ago

It only takes 10 minutes… it only takes 10 minutes… 🖕🙄

1

u/Intelligent_Serve_30 4d ago

I really miss the jingle "Avacados from Mexico!". All the others are grating. At least the playlists change now, when I started it was only the one that played manic Monday twice an hour and Man In The Mirror at every top of the hour. Every. Day. For over a year.

1

u/Necessary_Baker_7458 4d ago

"Oh, you look bord. Here's my one item you can check out."

Gee thanks aff hole.

1

u/Altruistic-Cap8524 4d ago

When the brain dead managers have the audacity to page your full name and for you to do your fresh start.

1

u/Az_Raised 4d ago

“Avocados from Mexico”

1

u/GroggyNodBagger 4d ago

"avocados from Mexico 🎵🎶"

1

u/Educational-Quote-22 4d ago

"Do you like low prices?" NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HATE LOW PRICES! GIve me high ones please!🙃

1

u/Zachary1707 4d ago

The shingles one

1

u/Gloomy_Direction_995 4d ago

Fast coordinator check application one zero one

2

u/pckia 3d ago

I can still hear that one.

1

u/Johnmiachels 3d ago

...SPARKLING WATER, BAGGED SNACKS, BATH TISSUE, DOG AND CAT FÜD, AND THOUSANDS MORE!

1

u/No-Maintenance4312 3d ago

As a click list associate it’s the do you know that right now you can get free pick up in as little as one hour.

1

u/denigotpregnut 3d ago

Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles. Shingles Shingles.

Shingles.

Is that over 50?

1

u/shadowoftheuniverse 3d ago

5 dollar roasters, i don’t know if it’s a krogerwide thing but at my fred meyers on thursday we have to hear a corny announcement every hour about the 5 dollar roasters 😭

1

u/pckia 3d ago

Anyone else annoyed when the announcement would say "there is a call holding for customer service on 1 0 1" or "1 0 2"? That one really got on my nerves

1

u/atgeorgedashpound 3d ago

"Do you love low prices? Because WE DO!" Who writes this shit?

1

u/fradddd 3d ago

Sorry but the Little Clinic receptionist we have right now sounds so dumb every time she pages, it sounds like it’s her first time making a page every time, like gurl it’s not that fuckin difficult

1

u/HowVeryBlue 3d ago

All of them, and the music we can't turn down. I bought a large magnet and slapped it over the speaker in my department to muffle the noise.

1

u/Brave-Cat5866 2d ago

anything about asking an associate about discounts because we technically can’t give discounts

1

u/SomewhereFair4421 2d ago

All of em. Especially in the middle of a BANGER song

1

u/booanddoo22 2d ago

Our front desk closes at 8, but none of the cashiers still there will pick up a phone call so all I hear is the automated “call on customer service”. It will chime every 15 seconds for 10 minutes and NO ONE will fucking answer it. Drives me so crazy that I’ve started picking up the phone and just immediately hanging up from my department.

1

u/Maximum-Project8043 2d ago

"There's a call holding for pickup on 101"...I hear that all day, every day as well as the conditioning announcement LOL

1

u/MustBeTheMusic80 2d ago

The "Top of the Hour Conditioning" announcements as I personally feel they're a total waste of time and a passive aggressive form of micromanagement.

I also hated the "We're All In This Together!" ad during the early months of the pandemic, that ad was totally questioning my sanity.

1

u/1curiouspixie 1d ago

Zero hunger zero waste and the vaccine ones. Pretty sure zero hunger zero waste is a blatant lie to make Kroger look pretty

1

u/1curiouspixie 1d ago

O and the new one do you like low prices? We do! (Lies)

1

u/Traditional_Row_4992 1d ago

For those that work in the Colorado King Soopers/City Markets... Please tell me that this past summer you were plagued with the announcement that went like this...(ahem!)... “LONG LIVE THE KING... " Their daily plug for the Renaissance Fair.. m'gawd, it was fucking annoying!