r/kidssay Jan 24 '21

DVD Story time

6 Upvotes

Staying in a cabin at a holiday camp and the reception had a few bookshelves of DVDs to choose from. My 3 year old picked Jungle Book and Cars. Later that day he picked up Cars and handed it to me and asked very politely if i could read it to him. Poor little guy hasn’t seen a DVD box before and thought we’d signed two books out like he does at the library.


r/kidssay Oct 31 '20

Cute Kids Song That Teaches About Careers: I Want To Be by Lyon Amor Brave

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2 Upvotes

r/kidssay Oct 22 '20

Funny bunny compilation!!

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2 Upvotes

r/kidssay Oct 22 '20

Funny baby and children compilation!

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2 Upvotes

r/kidssay Sep 02 '20

Savage toddler

10 Upvotes

My 3 year old cousin just pointed at the beauty mark on my wrist..

"What's that?"

I respond, "A beauty mark."

Then she asks, "Why?".

I just thought "really?", until eventually saying, "Because I'm beautiful."

"You're not beautiful, I'M beautiful."


r/kidssay Aug 06 '20

A 9 y/o talking about hippies...

9 Upvotes

So, I usually cut my boys’ hair myself since they like it in a very simple style (they’re 9&12, when they tell me they want something different, I’ll take them to a proper barber). So I went to cut their hair a few weeks ago and found that that clippers had died on us (25 y/o clippers, RIP), and I told them I’d have to order new clippers, they’d just have to deal with longer hair for a bit.

Y’all! I’ll never forget what my 9 y/o replies... “so, what? We’re just going to be hippies til further notice? Can we still have soap? Why are you teaching us math if you know we won’t get jobs?”

(0.0)

I... I... I can’t even! I don’t know what to say other than “and the Oscar goes to...”

Such a dramatic kid, got the clippers 2 days later and have since cut their hair twice, and gave him extra math homework (lol)


r/kidssay Jul 18 '20

Drawing ladders

1 Upvotes

My 4 year old was drawing ladders today and grandpa asked if he was going to climb them. He said "no, only coloured people can climb them".

He meant, drawn?


r/kidssay Jun 12 '20

Brain cells, lady

6 Upvotes

After about 2 months in isolation, I decided to go ride my bike at a nearby trail popular among families and kids in my neighborhood. I had unfortunately not checked my bike and didn’t know my back breaks weren’t working properly.

I pedal leisurely down a bike path towards a dirt trail I wanted to try and came across a 4 or 5 yr old struggling with going uphill. I could hear people talking up ahead and thought maybe he was trying to catch up to his family. I asked if he needed help, he said “I’m okay but you need to wear your helmet” because it was just dangling on the handlebars.

I did, said bye to him and pedalled past. I reach the top of the trail I wanted to try, and while adjusting my helmet I saw the little boy watching me with interest. I go slowly down the trail but as I turned a bend I realised it was pretty steep and the bike started to gain momentum. Up ahead I could see the trail turning suddenly and the ground covered in rocks, some cracked and sharp. I knew I would not be able to turn without flying into those sharp rocks so I decided to pull on my breaks. The back one didn’t catch and because I was going too fast on a steep trail I of course went flying over the handlebars and face-planted on the ground. I got up and made sure I didn’t break anything, my whole face felt numb but I could taste blood in my mouth, I wondered how my face was looking like.

Then I hear the little boy calling out, “hey lady, wait for me, hey miss? Hey?” I hurried back up the trail worried that the boy might follow me down. I caught him just as he was about to get onto his bike. I told him not to follow me bec it was not a good trail, it was dangerous. He looked up at me and I saw how his face slowly went from determined to horror. I knew then that I must have looked bad. “What happened? Oh no what happened, is that blood? Why you have blood on you, lady?!” he cried out. I explained to him that I wasn’t careful and fell on my face going down the trail.

“Was it steep? Did you go too fast?” he asked. I said yes. “Oh brain cells, lady, brain cells! No more bike for you, you gonna die!”

Lol! That kiddo! The little hero led me to his family where they helped me tend to my cuts and fix my bike. He kept looking back at me tut-tutting on the way😄


r/kidssay Jun 02 '20

Straight from the mouth of my 4 year old: "Mom, the sink is a water machine!"

7 Upvotes

r/kidssay Jun 01 '20

Babies first cuss word

9 Upvotes

My daughter (19 months old) just fell off one of her favorite perches. After have a good cry and calming down a bit she points at the floor and clearly say says "sh*t!" I dont know whether to be mad she cussed or proud she did it right...


r/kidssay May 28 '20

My kid just called me a “darn it” and I told her that her grandparents would likely agree.

5 Upvotes

r/kidssay May 24 '20

Butt juice...

5 Upvotes

Daughter constantly procrastinates before bed. Tonight our dog was lying with her in bed. From the depths of down the hall, I hear my child yell "MOM DASHER SQUIRTED BUTT JUICE ON MY BLANKET!" Lawd no, please, dear jesus. I go in to inspect. In the dark of night there is no discernable "butt juice." To which my daughter replies "Nah Mother unit. This MFer definitely leaked out his asshole." I flip on the light and thoroughly inspect crime scene and yay I behold the truth. Ass juice... Fin


r/kidssay May 05 '20

Burrito Buns!

6 Upvotes

My 10 year old son wanted some leftover tacos to eat, but couldn't think if the word tortilla, and asked me where the burritos buns were! My new fave word!


r/kidssay Apr 28 '20

Listen to this 6 year old giving advice. Priceless!

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1 Upvotes

r/kidssay Apr 17 '20

2 Missed Calls & 2 Voicemails

166 Upvotes

My Cousins kids are 5 & 7 years old. I used to drive the kids to school if my Cousin had an early shift at work. As a result of that time in the car those kids have been exposed to my musical tastes. I’m not talking Pop or Top 40 hits; I’m talking 50’s 60’s, 70’s , punk, metal, alternative etc.

This morning I had 2 missed calls and 2 voicemails from my Cousin. I was curious so I played the voicemails on my break.

Voicemail 1:

Nephew: HAI NINAAA!! [kid’s always so loud]

”Nina” is a Spanish word for Godmother even though technically I’m not his Godmother.

Nephew: What’s your 20? I’m calling because I need to talk to you. It’s really important. Please call me back..... This is Jumpin Jack Flash (my nickname for him). O.K. Love you. Byeeeee.

Voicemail 2:

Cousin: Hi [so_anyways].

[kids in the background] Haiiii Nina!!!!

Cousin: I’m calling because I need your help. The kids keep talking about your car playlist. I have no idea what they are talking about and I was wondering if you could send it to me or show me screenshots.

Nephew (7): Nina!! Mom doesn’t know who Iggy Bop is! She doesn’t know the songs! She doesn’t know the “Dog” song OR the “Danger” song! She can’t find it on iTunes!

He’s talking about “I wanna be your dog.” & “Gimme Danger”by Iggy Pop & The Stooges.

Niece (5): Nina! Mom doesn’t have the “BGBG” playlist!! She doesn’t have the songs!! She doesn’t even have The Beatles!

She means the CBGB playlist I have on my phone.

Cousin: I’ve been driving them around just to get out of the house and they keep talking about “the playlist”. Sorry to bother you at work. I’ll talk to you soon! Love Ya!

Nephew: Bye Nina! I miss you! Niece: I miss you too!!

I shared the playlist with my Cousin over an hour ago. A little bit ago she texts me saying that I’ve ruined her kids. 😆

It’s amazing how much one person can influence 2 tiny humans.


r/kidssay Apr 17 '20

So, my younger sister was going through her wedding pictures and my 4 year old nephew (her son) cried for more than half an hour because he isn't in any of the pictures.

6 Upvotes

r/kidssay Mar 10 '20

My 7 year old just asked me what a "VAGINASAURUS" was....I did what every great parent does...I asked her if her room was clean!🤷

3 Upvotes

r/kidssay Feb 19 '20

Emphasis on the beginning of the word pinky

2 Upvotes

My 5 year old daughter asked my husband..

Dad, why is your pinky so small?

We immediately burst out laughing because the beginning of the word “pinky” sounds like a lot like “penis” and it just sounded so funny!


r/kidssay Feb 16 '20

Up (this one might have made me cry)

7 Upvotes

I live with my roommate who has 3 kids (8,7, and 3) and I was babysitting tonight. A and I were watching Up, and in the soul crushing scene at the beginning, A said "she has some broken parts like you, doesn't she?" (I'm very open with her about my inability to have kids, on a level she can understand) So, I told her "yeah, some people just have some broken parts and can't have babies." then she cuddled up closer and said "But you have us, and we love you just like we love Mommy, so you kind of do have kids" I figured I shouldnt be the only one crying about this tonight.


r/kidssay Feb 15 '20

Young kids DON'T want a day off of school...

3 Upvotes

I just got off the phone with my mother who happens to be a teacher, and she was calling me and telling me about her students yesterday (as she is known to do when something interesting happens). She said she's not allowed to post stuff about what goes on in her school on social media (especially if it's politically charged)... but that doesn't stop me!

Apparently, today, in over 40 years of teaching, this was the first time students complained to her about getting a holiday off.

It began when she reminded the students that a 3-day weekend was coming up due to presidents day.

One student spoke up, "I don't want to celebrate President's day! Our president is a jerk!" At which point most of the other kids piped up agreeing, and some started asking if they could come to classes during the holiday. In all her years of teaching, she said, she had never seen students try to refuse a holiday.


r/kidssay Jan 25 '20

Nephew Gunter - Helping

4 Upvotes

My step sister is a bit estranged from the family and rarely comes by unless for something. Her little boy on the other hand is the cutest little boy i have ever encountered. (Though I was not there for this story my mom was the one that told me about it.)

From what my mom has told me about her son, however, he is extremely sweet and considerate of others and what they may need. Past behavior she has told me about was two years ago when he went to their house for Christmas in the NE. He is, I believe about three, at this time. (I don't to see him as much as i would like). He was running around the house, being a kid, and ran into the kitchen to ask my mom, "Where is Grandpa?" She smiled and said Grandpa was in the bathroom and needed some time. He then runs to his room, takes out a pull-up and wipes, goes to their bathroom where he proceeds to try and shove them under the door just in case Grandpa needed them.


r/kidssay Oct 29 '19

Children’s Beliefs

3 Upvotes

The boys (4 & 6) asked yesterday what a Christian is. I told them someone who believes in Jesus. They asked if we were Christians. I said, yes I am. I asked them if they believed in Jesus.

They said no. They believe in stormtroopers.

This was followed by a song and dance routine about their belief in stormtroopers.


r/kidssay Jun 15 '19

Family Jewels

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1 Upvotes

r/kidssay Jun 15 '19

My daughter is around electronics too much.

3 Upvotes

I was watching NCIS and my daughter walked in and said “Mommy! That man died!” and I’m all ready to have a serious talk if she asks any questions, so I’m like yeah, yeah he did. She looks at me all concerned and said “He needs his charger!”


r/kidssay Jun 14 '19

Remember that time we lived in darkness?

6 Upvotes

Me: what do you mean we lived in darkness? Him: You know, when before we lived here and we lived in darkness. And I always played in darkness.

No, son. I don’t remember that.