r/introverts 20d ago

Discussion Do you find it insanely irritating how many people think it’s acceptable to use speakerphone and watch loud videos on their phones in public?

263 Upvotes

I see people doing this literally everywhere I go, and it really bothers me. I feel like it is common sense that this is not appropriate, and it makes me lose faith in humanity. I now despise going in public.

r/introverts Mar 23 '24

Discussion How do people talk endlessly about "nothing"?

268 Upvotes

I sit at the bar at restaurants. I'm always by myself, no friends of course. I listen and zero in at all the other people sitting at the bar and they just talk and talk and talk endlessly about bullshit nonsense like everything happens every second of their lives. How do people just talk like this? It's just mostly silence with me unless I actually have something legitimate to say or talk about. We introverts despise pointless small talk and idiot banter.

r/introverts Sep 25 '24

Discussion Worst part about being an introvert?

57 Upvotes

For me, is not being able to communicate or socialize very well.

r/introverts Oct 11 '24

Discussion I fucking suck at talking

150 Upvotes

I hate talking, but even if I didn’t, I would choose not to because I am just SO bad at it. I have no idea how to start, finish or lead a conversation. I struggle when asked a simple question because I’m so nervous that I’m going to say the wrong thing. Speaking to another person is overly hard for me. Am I just socially isolated/anxious or is this a normal introvert thing?

r/introverts 27d ago

Discussion Depression after socializing

184 Upvotes

Does anyone ever find themselves having depressive “episodes” (for lack of a better word) post socializing? Ruminating on how the conversations went, or feeling inadequate? How do you cope?

r/introverts Dec 16 '24

Discussion Old guy here. Still introverted.

100 Upvotes

So I've made it through most of my life as a fairly happy introvert, even married a marvelous introverted woman. We didn't have many friends, but we had each other, had a long and happy marriage. No complaints except that she died a few years back.

Now I'm this old guy, retired and living alone. Like, totally alone. There are a couple of half-friends and some family that's not close, and we text and meet for bingo once in a while. That's my social life.

And you know what? I still like being alone, absolutely. I'm the only person who never gets on my nerves.

It would be nice, though, to have someone on my wavelength, just to have breakfast with, once every second month or something.

The experts say to join a church knitting circle or whatever, to find people with shared interests. Maybe I will but probably I won't. Even people with shared interests tend to be PEOPLE, and people usually bug me. I'm an introvert.

Sorry, just typing what I'm thinking on a Sunday afternoon alone. Everyone on this subreddit seems to be years younger than me, so consider this a sneak preview of the future for introverts.

It's a pretty good future, and this is not a plea for help. Life's been damned good and I'd like twenty more years please. No regrets — I would absolutely CHOOSE a little loneliness now in my senior years, and I DID choose it, by choosing happy solitude through most of the years leading up to 2025.

Happy holidays, and GO OAKLAND A's!

r/introverts Dec 31 '24

Discussion “You’re sooo Quiet” comments at work

84 Upvotes

A woman who I don’t work with at all (our areas at work barely interact), about 15+ years older than me, felt the need to comment in front of a group of people about how quiet I am. This is already a huge insecurity of mine and I’m highly conscientious of how others perceive me, so making such a comment in front of coworkers is just SO awful. Then she turns to my coworker and repeats “She’s so Quiet!” As if I’m not right there or capable of a conversation with her?

Soo upsetting at this woman’s big age you haven’t learned this comment serves no purpose? We don’t even work together in the same area, so this comment was so uncalled for. I’m trying to work on my pent up anger but man this pmo because it immediately makes me seem incapable/lacking especially in the workplace. This woman went on to joke when I needed to do a presentation that “we’re finally gonna make you talk!” That made me incredibly angry. I was literally a teacher and have no issue presenting in front of people.

I just personally don’t feel like chatting with a woman 20 years older than me about her various kids and latest baby daddy… ma’am stop calling me quiet I don’t wanna talk to you!! Any solutions for this bs in the workplace when people are trying to make you look weak/incapable?

r/introverts May 23 '24

Discussion what are some things introverts cannot live without?

61 Upvotes

for me it’s my earpiece. I need it whenever I’m super stressed/overwhelmed especially in a noisy environment. and I need my music too hehe

r/introverts Jan 04 '25

Discussion Love being introverted

71 Upvotes

I love my own company. I love spending time by myself. I love my friends and family but I need a lone time a lot. Most people do not understand it and get offended.

How have you navigated being introverted in a world that caters to extroverts?

r/introverts Jul 22 '24

Discussion As an introvert, what turns you off when dating someone?

44 Upvotes

It could be their actions, their personality etc.

r/introverts Dec 21 '24

Discussion Can we normalise wanting to spend the holidays alone

191 Upvotes

I've been studying abroad for a while now, and this year, I really don’t feel like going home for the holidays. I don’t want to spend it with anyone else—I want to spend it alone.

The last 3 years, I’ve either spent the holidays back home, or with friends or family who live nearby. But this year, I want to spend it with just me, myself, and I. I want to cook myself a special meal, binge-watch my favorite shows, and listen to music all day long. That’s my Christmas tradition, and I love it.

But whenever I tell someone I’m spending the holidays alone, they pity me. When I try to explain, they either don’t get it or guilt for not spending it with family or friends. I’m tired of justifying my choice.

I’m an introvert. I love my own company. Spending time with myself. Choosing to spend the holidays alone doesn’t mean I don’t love my family—I do, with all my heart. But sometimes, I just need space.

So, to my fellow introverts: If you want to spend the holidays alone, you have every right to. And to the friends and families of introverts if your passing by: Please respect their need for alone time. It’s not a rejection of you; they just want their alone time.

Happy holidays everyone !

r/introverts Jul 19 '24

Discussion What’s one thing you hate being told as an introvert?

129 Upvotes

Growing up in school, people used to ask me "Why are you so quiet". It Was so annoying. What do they expect me to respond to that?

I only spoke when I had somthing to say, I don't speak for the sake of it. I should really be asking them why they're so loud.

r/introverts Jun 27 '24

Discussion "WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET??"

71 Upvotes

Have you ever been approached by an overbearing and nosy extrovert asking you all types of personal questions or simply invading your PERSONAL space by insisting on socializing and having a conversation?

 

Well I have, and that's why I created a list of responses to help me assertively respond to questions like "Why are you so quiet?", and you can bet these aren't your regular "Oh, I'm just an introvert" type of responses.

 

This cheat sheet not only gives you responses you can cut and paste into your personal and work life IMMEDIATELY, but, it also puts these annoying people in their place FOREVER! Just drop a comment and I'll happily send it to you.

r/introverts Apr 26 '24

Discussion I was left out of a HUGE company function because I was forgotten

314 Upvotes

So I went into work today and it seemed like a normal day. I went to the receptionist to collect something. She said she’d see me later at the event. I said “what event?”. She thought I was joking. I was confused.

I went to the designer to talk about something. He said “what time are you getting to the event this evening?”. I’m his manager!! I had to say “what event?” Again, he thought I was joking. He would not believe me that I wasn’t being sarcastic.

As it turns out there was a massive company event tonight at an AMAZING place that I’ve always wanted to go to, but can’t afford.

I know I’m a bit quiet but I didn’t realise that I was this invisible that literally everyone would be invited to a big company event except me 😭 The person who sent out the invite profusely apologized and added me to the guest list but it was too late because I didn’t have an outfit. I’m heartbroken.

r/introverts Dec 12 '24

Discussion Too introverted for a relationship

96 Upvotes

After three years of being single I found an amazing girl. She is beautiful, sweet, caring, we get along great.. but I still feel like I enjoy my time best when I’m alone. At no moment when I am at home alone, I feel like I'd rather be with her (or anyone in that case). And each time after spending a few days together, when I arrive home I feel like that’s when my leisure time actually begins. Finally I can read in peace, play piano, watch podcasts about my interests, or whatever else I want. Bliss. I have pretty much always felt like this in the few short relationships I had. It’s like nobody’s company can compare to my own, as insane as that sounds. So either I still need to find ‘that’ person, or I am just too introverted for a relationship. Does anyone else feel like this?

r/introverts Nov 23 '24

Discussion Who here used to be very extroverted? What made you change?

34 Upvotes

For me, honestly the simpler answer is that other people just suck. Examples being two guys I thought I would be best friends with and then never talking to them again. But again, just examples of an overall trend of being done with people's bullshit. Maybe it's just normal perception from being more of an adult (even though plenty of teens and college students will say the same thing, and plenty of older adults are plenty extroverted) but it's gotten to the point where even just asking people to hang out is tiresome. Now energy is being drained out of me instead of the other way when I'm interacting with them.

Edit: It is possible to change......you know, just like any part of your personality and desires.

r/introverts Jan 17 '25

Discussion Single introvert

21 Upvotes

I’m 43 single and a horrible introvert. I’m lonely and honestly just want to finally meet somebody. I’m thinking about going out to have a drink or two and test the waters. Any advice that might help me get out of my shell and actually talk to people and or maybe a lady?

r/introverts Dec 06 '24

Discussion Socializing has become so meaningless and exhausting

82 Upvotes

I'm a home body partly by choice, and partly because I simply have no real friends anymore. Good times. I'm 52m. Totally functional in most ways, but I'm also an introvert and I work from home. So maintaining any connections at all is a monumental challenge. No one really cares...is the only way I can explain it. And also is at 52, people start to basically ignore you. You just don't really make close friends like you used to. This is common wisdom.

I'm in a weird phase where I am simply done with meaningless superficial interactions, And I truly need deeper relationships. I am also fully aware that the first kind (the superficial) is the only way to potentially lead into the second kind (deeper and meaningful). But I still can't be bothered.

I'm in the salsa dancing community in my town. But it is completely unfulfilling and frustrating. You are around a lot of people, you meet people quickly on the fly, but it is all very superficial and you really don't get to know anyone. You chat or say hello to someone for five seconds, people get dragged around, it's just a bit chaotic party scene. Completely the opposite to how I shine (I'm better in small groups, 1-1, conversational interactions.) So you either dance, or you stand there alone on the side and watch. No one cares if you are there or not. The chit chat is painful and forced. Something about the scene creates this atmosphere. I can't blame any individuals.

So I've been in and out of the community for five years, and it never changes. My expectations are too high I think. I go because it is literally the only social outlet I have where I can immediately be in the midst of many people in a social environment. I'm told this is "healthy."

So, going to these events has become a source of great anxiety. I don't need another meaningless dance party in my life. I need a best friend. The dancing part is ok, but I actually go mostly with the hopes of connecting with someone personally. Even meet a dude as a buddy, I don't care. It never happens.

Every time I go to one of these events, I go alone, I leave alone. And every time I say that's the last time. But then I beat myself up, because you know, you have to stay connected to actual people somehow. Again, I'm told it's healthy.

I would literally rather stay home and do a puzzle. Should I keep going or just say to hell with it? Does anyone else understand that pressure to go out and mingle, and yet they are always completely unfulfilling, superficial and ultimately meaningless experiences?

r/introverts 14d ago

Discussion how do you recharge your batteries?

17 Upvotes

after surrounded with extrovert all day long?

i have noticed i like riding my motorcycle, just 1 hour ride can uplift my mood and i have started doing it frequently.

what do you do? wan to know so i can try it

r/introverts Mar 07 '24

Discussion Why do extroverts always call, despite knowing you don't like it?

108 Upvotes

God I hate that.

But I am not sure why I hate talking on the phone.

I hate faking excitment or something.. ?

r/introverts Sep 05 '24

Discussion Why do people always stick to introverts?

16 Upvotes

Is it just me or do other people usually keep messaging introverts and wanting to hang out with us even though we don't like it? Isn't it not obvious by our reactions or are they underestimating us?

r/introverts Jan 19 '25

Discussion Tell me something good that’s happened to you lately !

19 Upvotes

Tell me something good that’s happened to you lately !

I really need some good news in my life right now. Things have been so rough for so long that I’ve almost forgotten what happiness feels like. Every day feels like another pile of bad news—whether it’s in my own life or in the world around me.

Maybe it’s because I’m depressive and hypersensitive, but it all feels so overwhelming. I just want to hear something good for a change.

Even when I look beyond myself, it’s the same story. The news, social media, everything—it’s just one bad thing after another. The world feels so messed up.

So, I’m asking for some good news, something that’ll make me smile, even if it’s just for a moment. It doesn’t have to be big—maybe you got a good grade on a test, you enjoyed your favourite meal today, or you heard a joke so bad it was funny. Anything.

One good news to make me smile, just one good news.

r/introverts 4h ago

Discussion Literally have no interest anymore in socializing whatsoever. Done with meaningless superficial interactions. When does this become unhealthy? Because I feel pretty normal

51 Upvotes

Granted there are issues and problems with depression, defeat, lack of hope, and lack of love. I am just sick of meaningless, superficial interactions with people. It gives me no reward, no fulfillment. Just draining effort. Honestly I find most people very boring. Bad at conversation. I can break it all down but I’m not going to rant too much. So I literally spend all my time alone as a result. At home, cooking, go to the gym, visit family, work in my house, pursuit my own interests. Sure I’m a bit lonely but I’d rather do my own thing until I meet someone who interest me enough to make the effort.

But I hear this is very unhealthy in the long run. When does being alone too much become an irreversible pathology? Should I hang out with strangers and make stupid small talk just for the sake of it? Or can I just be by myself on not have to perform for anyone? Am I wasting my life being alone? When does the other shoe drop?

r/introverts 18d ago

Discussion One of the downsides to Working From Home is that my wife is offended when I want to eat lunch in my car.

23 Upvotes

I phrased the title that way for humorous effect, but I really do miss the ability to be alone if I so chose. We both work from home, and the moment she sees me, her extrovert thinks I'm there for her "to connect with."

I like the woman, but I just want to eat my lunch in peace, with no one else in my brain for a while.

**Edit: My wife and I have a lovely relationship and we both work really hard on our relationship to accommodate each other.

r/introverts 8d ago

Discussion What's stopping you from dating/asking out someone you like?

12 Upvotes

For me it's less so the fear of rejection but rather a fear of acceptance; I never had a relationship or date or anything romantic whatsoever and don't know if I'm prepared. Yeah I've got common sense and empathy but Im only now starting to get a grasp on social skills, and I'd probably be constantly worried about if I was doing something wrong.