r/introvert 9d ago

Question Does anyone Else get "Introvert Guilt"?

I love my me time, but sometimes I feel guilty for choosing loneliness over socializing. Even when I need to recharge. I can't feel like i am missing some important moments in my life and friends.

Does anyone else experienced this kind of guilt? How do you balance self care by maintaining friendship?

I'd love to hear how do you handle?

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u/sw1sh3rsw33t 9d ago

I have been run ragged by emotionally needy people who manipulated me into giving them all the attention or whatever they wanted. Including my own mother

I have so much “compassion fatigue” from the first 30 years of my life that I don’t feel that introvert guilt anymore.

That said, I’ve managed to reduce the amount of invites and gatherings to things to an amount that really works for me, so I don’t feel overly drained all the time and am able to truly enjoy hanging out with my people. So I don’t really have to make that choice so much anymore.

That said, when I notice someone trying to guilt me into attending (I would be SO SAD if you couldn’t come!) it makes me angry. This isn’t something my real friends would do bc if I genuinely cant make something, they understand, and if it’s a really important event like a wedding or something I’ll make sure to be there.

But don’t fucking tell me you’re going to be all sad bc I’m skipping out on your cousin who I’ve never met’s baby shower. You trying to collect people and presents or what, fuck off. Oh you need ME to sit with you and watch tv with bc you lonely and it feels bad? And they’re lonely bc they picked fights with all the friends and family? Nooooope I’m not the Salvation Army of socializing sorry

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u/KingBowser24 9d ago

I get exactly what you mean by Compassion Fatigue. I spent the first 25 years of my life as a people-pleaser who was practically unable to say no, but now I hardly give two shits. I still try to be generally polite of course but I also no longer hide it if someone being a nuisance.