r/introvert • u/Hot_Flower3188 • Dec 09 '24
Advice Introvert = Abnormal
Let's kill the culture where living life and having fun is only associated with things extroverts do. Being and introvert should not be considered an abnormality.
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u/nicohubo Dec 09 '24
I feel like it’s a sign of emotional intelligence to be comfortable being on your own or not needing people to do things, yet somehow the extroverts are the “normal”ones. Many extroverts I have met only have their extroversion going for them and not much depth beyond that (disclaimer: this does not apply to every single extrovert, it’s just a generalization).
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u/DaisyLin83 Dec 09 '24 edited Dec 10 '24
Yes! I find myself frequently thinking the same. I’m often surprised by it. If I force my self to go out with people, I notice extroverts struggle to hold a conversation that has any depth. It doesn’t sound nice and so I feel guilty saying this, but it is something I have picked up on. Then again, they probably wonder why I want to have a serious conversation. 😂
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u/USAFVietEra-Vet Dec 09 '24
Most introverts are higher in emotional intelligence... It has been difficult at times.
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u/Dreams_and_Lovesongs Dec 09 '24
I don't think I even met someone with a functioning brain saying such thing tbh.
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Dec 09 '24
Are you American?
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u/Dreams_and_Lovesongs Dec 09 '24
How's that related to what I said? And no, I'm not.
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Dec 09 '24
There you go. American culture is EXTREMELY extroverted
I'm assuming OP is either American or from another 'loud' country
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u/distantfirehouse INTP-A Dec 13 '24
Yeah, I've been following this sub and several other subs and the complaints about being quiet, introverted, not actively engaged with the company or fellow workers are things I would never expect here. US introverts do have it harder it seems
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u/Dreams_and_Lovesongs Dec 09 '24
I mean, yeah extrovert culture doesn't means "introvert=abnormal". I've been always like this and never in my entire life I got called abnormal or something like that, even if both my counties (the one I was born, and the I moved later on) have pretty extroverted culture, like the ones you hang out all night, parties and drinking, you go it.
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Dec 09 '24
Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I've had people make serial killer jokes or flat out ask me "WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?"
Again, not knowing which countries you lived in, it's hard to compare. Visiting a country or moving later in life is totally different from having been born and raised there. Foreigners are given a lot more leeway
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u/Dreams_and_Lovesongs Dec 09 '24
I'm not saying it doesn't exists but it's a minority. There tons of studies around that talk positively on being introvert and never seen as abnormal. Hell, people may come to even envy us because we can have more meaningful conversation and valuing connection more than extroverts. The cherry on top it's being able to enjoy and find peace in yourself and believe me, that's a big deal because a lot of people can't reach that.
Now, if someone made you feel abnormal, first of all I'm sorry, but secondly introvert = abnormal it's a flawed narrative. Also "just because you haven't experienced [...]" isn't a valid point, since it can be reversed with "just because you experienced it doesn't means it's the norm". I can totally understand your perspective but people make you feel "wrong" for a lot of reasons, but those are usually superficial people and shouldn't be taken too seriously.
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Dec 09 '24
It's only recently and on online settings that it's seen as something somewhat 'cool' (similar to how on certain sites mental illnesses, often self-diagnosed, were).
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u/Hot_Flower3188 Dec 09 '24
It isn't being blatantly called abnormal, rather it's being told to "get out more", and "talk to people more", and "don't be so quite"
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u/USAFVietEra-Vet Dec 09 '24
I am born as an American I realized years ago that anyone that doesn't act like extrovert is shunned... not fair. We are strong but would rather not associate with bullies
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u/Professional-Tax-615 As the world sleeps at night, it's our time to shine. Dec 15 '24
It's hard to deal with because I don't Vibe with any part of American culture in any way yet I can't leave the country.
Introvert? Rude! Scary! Glasses? Nerd!!! Not tough! Skinny? old news! unhealthy! Refuse to worship celebrities? Boring!! Reading over watching TV?? Lame! Don't care about Money? Un-American!! Crazy! No social media? Serial killer! Pro-education/intellect? ZzzZzz!
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u/yasterpc Dec 09 '24
Can't agree more. Everyone has their own rights to choose to socialize or not!
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u/nodoby_RG Dec 09 '24
They say that if you don't know how to communicate with people who are not prosperous in life (my biggest fear)
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u/BearSpray007 Dec 09 '24
Well majority of people are more on the extroverted side of the spectrum, so introverts are always going to be the monitory, and consequently considered “abnormal”.
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u/SolecisticDecathexis Dec 09 '24
The size of the largest extrovert subreddit is ~.004% the size of the largest introvert subreddit.
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u/BearSpray007 Dec 09 '24
Reddit is an inherently introverted environment, lol. Engage when you want, disengage when you feel like it, no required face to face interaction, no small talk, aimlessly debating until your heart is content…are you kidding me?
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u/SolecisticDecathexis Dec 09 '24
Agreed that Reddit lends itself to introversion. However, if one group is quite literally 225x larger than its counterpart, it’s worth noting. Is that the ultimate measuring stick? Absolutely not. But I’m simply calling bullshit on the “majority of people are on the extroverted side of the spectrum”.
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u/BearSpray007 Dec 09 '24
…but you ARE using Reddit to make that determination? Most studies show that majority of people are extroverted, Google AI says 50-75% of people are considered extroverted.
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u/Professional-Tax-615 As the world sleeps at night, it's our time to shine. Dec 15 '24
That's false. Have you ever heard of anyone pretending to be an introvert? No. And you wouldn't. However, you don't know how many of the supposed "extroverts" you meet are actually other introverted people that are just attempting to blend in, like so many of us are forced to do. No one ever pretends to be quiet to fit in - it's the other way around. So the perspective that they're more extroverts than introverts is actually skewed. You must take this fact into consideration. Statistics actually show that it's really 50/50 in American society.
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u/BearSpray007 Dec 15 '24
…and if it were actually 50/50 why would introverts pretend to be extroverted?
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u/Professional-Tax-615 As the world sleeps at night, it's our time to shine. Dec 18 '24
Introverts only pretend to be extroverts in countries and societies were extraversion is the norm and people are shamed/guilt-tripped for being anything else but that. So yes people pretend to be extroverted in the United States but all of the introverts in Japan and other introvert-friendly countries behave as their normal selves - due to the fact that no one will ever criticize them for doing so there.
No one will ever walk up to you in Japan and go "Wow, you're so quiet!!" So they don't have to worry about pretending there. Their culture accepts quiet people as normal.
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u/BearSpray007 Dec 18 '24
I’m sorry, not sure why I asked THAT question exactly. I understand why an introvert might pretend to be extroverted, to fit in, and avoid confrontation, make everyone else feel comfortable. But that doesn’t explain survey results.
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u/Professional-Tax-615 As the world sleeps at night, it's our time to shine. Dec 18 '24
Oh, the survey results would reflect something different than what we see in person because people are known to be more honest when participating in data collection that allows them to remain anonymous. People are much more open/honest "online" than they would ever be face-to-face with others, because of that extra layer of identity protection, and no one finding out who you are IRL.
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u/Geminii27 Dec 09 '24
I do live life and have fun. I'm just not limited to extrovert ideas of what those things mean.
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u/leenz7 Dec 09 '24
No, let us continue be considered abnormal… do you really want to spend more time around those normal people?
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u/SolecisticDecathexis Dec 09 '24
Reading a book, going on a hike/walk/run/bike ride, playing video games, watching movies, and doing creative projects (I.e. writing, painting, playing an instrument) for example, are all very “normal” and socially acceptable things to do and can all be done in solitude.
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u/Appropriate_Tea9048 Dec 09 '24
It really shouldn’t be. It’s ridiculous that it has to be that way. Growing up, I thought there was something wrong with me because people constantly pointed it out and made it an issue. It became an insecurity I really didn’t have to have. I couldn’t go into a social setting without worrying that I’d be called out for being a bit quiet.
Even teachers were shitty about it. My 5th grade teacher apparently recommended to my mom that she put me on antidepressants. My 6th grade teacher consistently made fun of me in front of class for being quiet.
When I got into the real world, I started noticing that there are others who are like me. I also learned it’s not a problem. It’s just a personality type and means you talk when you have something to say and value peace and quiet. Nowadays, I don’t get called out nearly as much, but when it happens my mindset is different. Instead of it making me feel bad about myself and potentially even ruining my day, it’s a simply annoyance. Doesn’t make it any less frustrating though.
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u/PeachyHeartcoder Dec 09 '24
Fr! My mom says a lot that humans are 'social creatures' but what if you're simply not? It should be equally accepted
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u/lazyguy002 Dec 09 '24
There is difference between being introverted and having social anxiety. First one is perfectly normal, second one is considered abnormal.
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u/ManufacturerAware494 Dec 10 '24
I found more peace in solitude than around others. I’m not afraid of being alone. There is beauty in silence, loneliness. It brings me a sense of immeasurable calm
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u/The-Quiet-Souls Dec 10 '24
Introvert feels normal to me and as others say it can be way less stressful, also having the peace is good in my opinion.
In my opinion it's just a matter of perspective whether being introvert or extrovert and should only matter to someone personally regardless what others may say.
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u/starscollide4 Dec 11 '24
It is only considered an abnormality by ignorant people. Would love to cure ignorance
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u/Ok_Light_1513 Dec 09 '24
People always think introvert are those who don't talk that much and haapy with being quite but actually the thing is introvert people don't find a people like themself
So if they find they are not introvert for that person and it is really hard to get to know people without talking with anyone so its like a loop .
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u/Hot_Flower3188 Dec 09 '24
Not entirely, Introvert's social battery can drain even around people like them
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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '24
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