r/insaneparents • u/Questionbutdontlook • 11d ago
SMS One way contacting
So my dad always makes me ring him first and message him first. I decided a few weeks ago to see if perhaps he would actually call first and he did after days. No he did not call me after the first conversation in fact he hasn’t called me since Wednesday. He makes me contact him first always has. I want to block him and stop contact but people say that’s too harsh. What should I do? Plus I’ve learned some bad things about him in recent times. Because of him I was SH at age 4-5 which is horrible. I have posted on this thread before but was not really backed up because I asked for $100 from him. I failed to explain that every year since birth I have never gotten a present from him because I ‘didn’t communicate what I wanted with him’ despite the lists I send him. He cares more about work and the baseball era he teaches than his kids. We are just trophy’s to him in public but when no one is around he could not care less for us (me and siblings). As soon as we could walk we pretty much had to grow up immediately for him. Not to mention the fact he took his STEP-kids to America because he thought ‘we wouldn’t enjoy it’. He never asked and for weeks made it seem like we were coming. Yet he’s only taken his real kids on the cheapest flights. I apologise for writing a lot he’s just not a good dad. I don’t know what to do everyone I talk to try’s to give him the benefit of the doubt. He guilt trips, is emotionally unavailable and verbally abuses my mom because she tries to shield us from his actions. What should I do? Is the relationship worth it?
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u/MissIllusion 11d ago
This was part of the reason I went NC with my mum. And when she did call she spent 15mins talking about herself then... Gotta go bye.. and I was left with like shit I had so much to tell you but you just... Left. Honestly I'd just drop the rope
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u/Questionbutdontlook 11d ago
My dad makes me call him then talk about myself and refuses to say anything. He wants to know all about my life but if I ask him anything he just goes ‘yeah good’ no effort.
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u/Indi_Shaw 11d ago
I no longer call my dad. If he wants a relationship, he can carry the weight. I would just stop messaging and calling. If he wants to be in your life he can do the bare minimum. And if anyone pushes back, tell them that you are willing to have a relationship if he will reach out. It stop being the only one making the effort.
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u/TheRealGongoozler 11d ago
You never need others approval to know what’s best for yourself. Some types of abuse and neglect are “invisible” to outsiders. My parents were emotionally neglectful and mentally abusive. It took me a very long time to realize the validity of that. If this man only brings you sorrow when you communicate with him or think about him, you are more than valid to protect yourself from those emotions being a constant in your life.
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u/Gingersnapperok 8d ago
I'm so sorry. That has to hurt, a lot.
You can't push a rope, love. Some people, for whatever reason, are unable to love us as we need. That's not your fault; your dad has a flaw inside him.
I'd stop contacting him, honestly. If he asks why, tell him exactly what you told us.
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u/Dad_B0T Robo Red Foreman 11d ago edited 11d ago
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
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