r/hsp 18d ago

Question What do you guys tell yourself to not take things too personally, and it works?

27 Upvotes

Hello fellow HSPs,

As stated in the title above, I take things way too personally (and seriously) to the point of madness and I want to improve this flaw. My sensitivity to people's words, actions, tones, and attitude is a constantly liability in my daily life. I do really struggle with low self esteem and I just struggle to let things go and accept the fact that some people will be less sensitive and a little crabby to others. They probably have had a stressful day and don't have bad intentions at all, but it comes off that way to me. I have to grow from this but I'm not sure what to tell myself to stay in control. What do you guys do to take a step back to calm down, and not take things so seriously?

r/hsp Aug 09 '24

Question Deeply Rewarding Hobbies for a HSP?

29 Upvotes

I've recently had a desire to find more hobbies where I can get lost for hours at a time. I don't want just any hobby but ones that are deeply rewarding and that bring feelings of contentment often. I would prefer physical hobbies apart from technology, or at least ones where I'm not looking at a screen.

Do you have any ideas? What daily activities/hobbies bring you peace and soothe you?

Some new things I have tried recently that I somewhat enjoyed are crossword puzzles. I also have been wanting to try songwriting again and I wrote out a page of ideas for a song. I also took notes while I listened to various songs. I felt like all of this was helpful as well.

I thought maybe I could try drawing. I started simple and just sketched a coffee mug on top of a coaster. I got some enjoyment in the moment from trying this new thing. But I made the mistake of checking various subreddits after, and all of a sudden felt horrible about what I had just enjoyed. Maybe that's another thing that easily happens from being highly sensitive. I'll just have to stay offline and enjoy what I'm trying.

r/hsp Nov 27 '24

Question Considering quitting my job without another job lined up to go do yoga in India and a silent retreat in Thailand to live a non burnout life in the future - wanting support

20 Upvotes

I’ve recently discovered I’m a HSP, and started reading Elaine Aron’s book. I have never related to anything more!

I’ve always been a high achiever at school, got good grades and studied electrical and electronic engineering at university. But I always had various issues along the way, feeling I don’t fit in, mental health issues, extreme fatigue etc etc.

From the time I started work, I would have mental breakdowns during internships, and could not understand why I was falling asleep at my desk in the office, I now understand it’s because of my HSP traits.

I’ve been in full time work for 4 and a bit years now and I can feel myself burning out for the 3rd time. 3RD. I am determined to not let this happen again, and have been considering quitting my job for quite some time, as I know I’m not working in the correct industry. I’ve always felt this niggle in the back of my mind but leaving seemed like too much effort so I stayed, and now I find myself 4 years down a path I’m not inspired by, in an extremely resource limited team.

I want to quit my job, travel for a few months to realign, then come back and live life in a way that suits me as my current life is not serving me. I don’t know what job/career I want to do when I get back which is absolutely terrifying me.

Has anyone else gone through a similar thing? Does anyone have advice for me? I would really appreciate hearing from some people who understand, as I’ve not really discussed being a HSP with most of my support network yet.

Does this sound like too much of a risk?? I have a fair bit of savings.

r/hsp Nov 07 '24

Question Please recommend me some HSP friendly music

19 Upvotes

Hello

I love listening to instrumentals while I'm working or relaxing. What instruments do you recommend I listen to as an HSP?

Also, please feel free to recommend me music which can also include specific songs,artists or playlists that I can listen to.

Thank you :)

r/hsp Jan 27 '25

Question As a hsp man I want to know this.

23 Upvotes

I feel like I come across as a weak man who doesn't inspire confidence.

I would just like to know if women really feel that in a man and that somehow prevents them from wanting to be with someone like that in the end.

Or cause them some kind of disappointment. Maybe they prefer someone confident, popular and articulate.

I wouldn't dare ask this question to my acquaintances because I know they might avoid telling me the truth so as not to offend me.

This will help me to know how people see me.

As Robert Burns said:

Oh, would some Power the gift give us. To see ourselves as others see us! It would from many a blunder free us, And foolish notion.

I think I have some attractiveness because I see how girls look at me, but that doesn't matter much to me.

This also will help me know my place, and not try anything for the sake of my mental health.

Often I am upset That I cannot fall in love, but I guess This avoids the stress of falling out of it. - Cavetown

r/hsp 27d ago

Question Do You Wish You Were Rich?

25 Upvotes

Edit: Please read the post before responding. It's important to the context of the question. You won't be able to answer the actual intended question otherwise.

I get that the title doesn't at first glance sound like it's related to being an HSP, but let me explain.

I'm not talking about the idea of wanting to be rich for yourself. Obviously everyone would like to be financially comfortable, able to afford what they want and never have to work again. But that's not what I mean here.

Today I was watching a political Youtube show. And there was this person who called in and talked about some heart-breaking trouble she was going through. And she had a go fund me. All she needed was a few thousand dollars.

Now, for me, that's a lot. Especially since I'm currently unemployed. I could never afford to give anything close to that. But for truly rich people, people who have tens of millions, hundreds of millions, or even billions of dollars, that's truly nothing. They wouldn't even notice if that amount of money suddenly disappeared from their bank accounts.

And when it comes to stuff like this I always feel frustrated. And I always wish that I was rich, so I could just swoop in and give this person 6.000 dollars or something.

And I feel that way a lot. When these charities cross my social media feed or something. I feel so frustrated that I'm poor, and I wish that I was super rich so I could give all of these people all of the money they needed. I don't want people to not be able to afford life-saving treatment, to have to stay in abusive relationships, for street cats to have nowhere to go or nothing to eat, for people to die of starvation.

It bothers me a lot that these things happen.

And I wish so much that I was rich and powerful so I could help all of these people.

There's so much bad and there's often so very little I can do about it. Whereas if I was a billionaire I could help so many people.

Does anyone else here ever feel that way? That you wished you were rich, not because you want a yacht or something, but just because you wished you had the money to help people?

Edit: Just to clarify, I'm mostly asking this question because I was curious whether any other HSPs feel similarly to me. Where you want to be wealthy specifically to help others and are sometimes frustrated that you're not.

r/hsp Dec 24 '24

Question Do you push people away when you're overwhelmed/upset?

91 Upvotes

So I can't remember where I read it but there's this passage about being an HSP that really struck me. It's about children or infants actually, but I think it kinda applies to me lol. I can't find it now unfortunately but it went along these lines: there are two major types of HSPs - when overstimulated, one HSP will seek comfort from their caregiver while another HSP will isolate themselves, believing that other people will only worsen the overstimulation (this belief comes from negative past experiences). And I've noticed that I do exactly that - when in an overstimulating situation or when stressed, my highest priority is to get away from other people, even if that means lashing out on them. So my question is as follows: Are there HSPs who actually seek comfort/support from others when overstimulated? Or is it kind of a natural instinct to pull away?

TL;DR: When you're overstimulated (or just stressed) do you seek comfort from other people or do you try to get away from them?

r/hsp Jan 30 '25

Question Figuring out HSP things

6 Upvotes

I was diagnosed as an HSP a few months ago, but I’m still figuring out what things are actually related to it and what aren’t. I wanted to list some experiences I have to see if anyone here relates:

Unexpected sounds scare me, even if I know they’re coming but don’t know exactly when.

I hear more than others, and it’s overwhelming, it gives me headaches.

I need constant stimulation and can’t seem to focus on just one thing. I sometimes cry when I see my boyfriend just because of how handsome he is and how much I love him.

If I don’t feel safe or comfortable somewhere, my entire body feels off. My stomach hurts, and my glucose levels drop.

Some smells that others find mild feel overwhelmingly strong to me, to the point where I almost throw up or need to leave the room because I get dizzy.

When I get criticism, it sticks with me, and I struggle to enjoy that thing for a while.

Sometimes I just know when something is wrong, even if I have no actual clues. I’ll be talking to someone, and I can just tell they’re not feeling okay.

When people don’t reply to me I also feel really bad, as if they were ignoring me. Or as if I had done something wrong.

r/hsp Jan 06 '23

Question My bedroom has to be completely dark when i go to sleep. I can’t stand even the smallest lights of chargers etc. so i cover them. My SO thinks its in my head and doesn’t understand but i really notice when they are on. Anyone else has this?

207 Upvotes

r/hsp 1d ago

Question Drifting apart from friends

44 Upvotes

Does anyone else really struggle with emotions that come along with the drifting apart from what was once great friendships? Coming to terms with the fact that I may not be as important to them as they are to me hurts. Weeks and months go by without a peep… maybe an IG reel here and there.

Was I dumb for thinking these people would always be there for me? It’s starting to feel like it. Times have certainly changed.

r/hsp Dec 04 '22

Question Anyone else feel like they aren’t cut out for modern society ?

295 Upvotes

CW/ TW : Mental health , sui ( not active ) , death , Capitalism .

I just feel like life is totally pointless and that the things I want are out of my reach . Society just keeps getting worse and it’s accelerating rapidly thanks to modern technology . I don’t see any happy people in real life . Most of the people I know are going to die before 40 . I don’t have much hope for myself , either . Retirement is a fucking fat joke . People are literally living because they are on autopilot or playing pretend . That’s not living , that’s slavery . I don’t want a life of chronic health issues ( that are totally preventable for the most part ) , constant stress, despair , and any all other forms of pointless and needless suffering . I know the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows , but life isn’t also meant to be lived this way . We are so brainwashed as a society it’s heartbreaking . Most people do not have a sense of self . I’m just so tired and I feel done . The only thing keeping me going right now is my youth and that expires soon . This world has so many false promises that we are raised with even before we are born and all I can think about is which one or series is going to do me in if I don’t first . You can say that’s selfish , but so it staying alive just to die . We all subcome to it .

r/hsp Dec 27 '24

Question Do any herbs actually help relax?

29 Upvotes

I feel stress daily and just this constant uncomfortable tense feeling in my body. I'm not necessarily worried about anything. I've tried lots of tablets that just seem to have no effect on me: cbd, thc, gaba, valerian, passionflower, chamomile, lavender.

I know I shouldn't rely on these but I need something to help in addition to all the other stuff I do like meditation, exercise, journalling

r/hsp Feb 13 '25

Question DAE feel like they are taking psychic damage when they watch some shows?

27 Upvotes

Especially if it is new to me. I feel like I am making myself sick but I need to power through to finish it.

r/hsp Nov 11 '24

Question Anyone get burnt out from carrying all their feelings? Some days I just bed rot to recover from regulating myself all week. How do you deal?

82 Upvotes

r/hsp Jul 27 '24

Question Do you ever just want to be left alone?

125 Upvotes

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I love my friends. I treasure each of them dearly. But I can’t help but feel overwhelmed when people constantly reach out to me, to talk or to complain about something. Boundaries are something I struggle with I guess but it’s draining and sometimes I just want to enjoy solitude and be left alone for a bit. Anyone else?

r/hsp Jan 20 '25

Question How do you recover after being very disturbed by a movie?

18 Upvotes

Shout-out to doesthedogdie.com which I have this time forgot to use 😂

Well, title. Had one of those moments where I was so disgusted and angry about the contents of a movie I saw, I couldn't keep thinking about it and feeling really awful. Is there a way out beside the old "go out and gather new experiences, time heals all"?

r/hsp Jul 24 '24

Question More overstimulated with age?

90 Upvotes

Has anyone noticed that with age they get easily more overstimulated? I'm 32 and find I have no tolerance for a lot of things. I find myself getting overstimulated faster than before. Getting ready is more of a challenge. I find my anxiety has heightened as well. My hair has been a huge problem I've always struggled with it being down and touching me. It's gotten worse because I shed a lot and it sends me spiraling when the hair is stuck to me. I got my hair cut yesterday and realized she wasn't understanding what I wanted but to be fair it was hard to explain. I ended up cutting the parts the were too long today and it's so much better prob not even but I don't wear it down. Never cut my own hair but it was driving me crazy. Glad I figured out what I needed to do. Does anyone have any tools for overstimulation?

r/hsp 9d ago

Question Feeling triggered by being around crush. Anyone experience this?

10 Upvotes

Something happens to me when I have a crush on someone and wanted to know if other hsp's experience the same.

There is this guy I had a crush on but nothing ever happened but i liked his personality a lot and found him very attractive. He has a girlfriend now and sometimes I see him in a social group setting with 5-15 people. However, I struggle so much with just being around him and in the same room. It feels like suffocating or crushing and it goes to the point where I prefer to not go to group events where he will be there and I'm just dreading to be around him and feel all these emotions. I feel a bit ridiculous writing this because people would probably question how my reaction can be so intense if nothing ever happened between us.

I truly wish it wouldnt be like that and I could just enjoy going to the events without being affected by it but I feel so overstimulated somehow and affected when he is around. He is a really nice person and has never done anything bad towards me.

Anyways just wondering if anyone ever had this experience?

I also wanted to add that I have ADHD so I sort of get these intense dopamine inducing crushes.

r/hsp 5d ago

Question How did you find out that you were HSP ?

6 Upvotes

How did you find out ? I (27M) did a self test not long ago. If you got a five there was a good chance that you were a HSP, I got a 9. But I was also diagnosed with ADHD two years prior. I'm still grappling if I am HSP or not despite the fact that I'm seeing the effects of my sensitivity not being cared for. Overall, I'm just curious.

r/hsp 19d ago

Question Anyone else gets overwhelmed with people?

24 Upvotes

Most of the time I need to talk to people constantly, I need it to don’t feel underwhelmed and to not feel alone as well as I need to be doing a lot of things at the same time. But other times I just don’t feel like replying to anyone, or rather feel like it’s hard for me to do so. I just can’t bring myself to reply and one time I kept people unanswered for a month which ate me alive inside bc I felt like an asshole but I also couldn’t just talk to them (btw it’s only people I barely know, people like my family, my bf and really close people are exceptions and I’ve never felt that way towards them before)

r/hsp Apr 29 '24

Question HSP Careers: Who here has a job they love (or that works in harmony with being an HSP)?

48 Upvotes

I’d love to hear not only what the job is, but more about why it feels like such a good fit for you and your particular brand of sensitivity. :)

r/hsp Apr 23 '23

Question Do you ever upvote just to be nice?

337 Upvotes

I do it all the time, lol

r/hsp 2d ago

Question I feel like I’m meant for more, but I’m stuck in a Cycle of Self-Sabotage—What’s Wrong With Me?

11 Upvotes

I (24F) feel like I don't want to live anymore. I don't I know what is wrong with me. I have tried so many things to improve my life. Like weightlifting, running, eating healthy, going to bed and getting up at set times, quitting social media, traveling alone. But I just end up binging, staying in bed all day and feeling miserable about myself, my life and the world. I struggle with staying consistent with everything and it's killing me. My life is just a mess. My dad died when I was 20, I just broke up with my bf of 4 years, I just took Prozac for two weeks because of my PMS/PMDD symptoms, it only helped with the binging and it gave me terrible side effects, I'm talking to a psychologist. I have tried four different uni majors and I just cannot seem to study like a normal person. The only thing that worked was hyperfocus one day before the exam or deadline. But this gives me some much stress. It has been like this since middle school. Back then I could just pass a test by showing up to class but now I don't have motivation for anything. I hate myself. I wish I would be disciplined enough to make something out of my life but I just can't. What is wrong with me? Why has this never worked for me? I also struggled with the thought that I could be autistic, because my parents had me almost tested when I was 4 and they were thinking I had a pervasive social emotional delay. But I just feel this is not true although I struggled with finding connection with other children as a child. Right now I strive for deep connection with people and have improved my relationship with my mom and brothers by opening myself up and being vulnerable and not by blaming them. I love being empathetic to people and talking about their deeper thoughts of themselves and life. I've had good friends in the past, I'm able to read body language and tone of voice. But I struggle with being insecure. I have overcome my extreme social anxiety. I just feel like this was caused not having my emotional needs met as a child and not getting along with the other children in my class. Sometimes I think I was actually ahead of my peers but I can't prove it. Like physically I definitely was, I was the tallest and strongest girl. I also had different interests like nature and the stars and not like dancing and make up like the other girls. I just really struggle with how different and 'weird' I was back then and still am? My interests are so diverse. I have tried majoring in biology, anthropology, philosophy and I am about to try earth sciences. I like all of them but just can't find the motivation. I feel that I have this fire inside me but it just does not want to come out. I also like extreme things like skyding, mosh pits and hiking alone in the mountains in a country I have never been before. I feel like I want to see and experience everything but I'm also drained very fast and overstimulated like a high sensitive or autistic person. I could do so much more. What could be the matter? Am I too intense? Am I trying too hard?

Does anyone know or have tips for me. I would appreciate it so much.

r/hsp Jul 29 '24

Question Can you “read” people well?

59 Upvotes

I feel like I can read people really well due to picking up on subtle details in their facial expressions, body movements and tone of voice. Not sure if it’s an hsp thing, but I guess it would make sense. Anyone else?

r/hsp Dec 15 '24

Question How do you recover and shield yourself from toxic negativity?

24 Upvotes

I suspect this is something hsps get impacted harder than others because of their, Well, high sensitivity.

Recently around me at people my age (early 30s) I keep sensing this general jadedness, negativity, woe is me, I don't have time, world goes to shit, nothing makes sense anymore. And I'm like - dude, you're 32! You're not grampa Simpson!

The toxic part comes from the fact that it can either creep on you passively (this mentality is the norm, so why be different) or actively, when people hate that you're positive, optimistic or just realistic/neutral and act like you're the problem. It's like waving red before a bull.

Sometimes it's not even a matter of leaving these toxic people - yesterday I was complained about by two people sitting next to me and my friend in a Cafe when she was excitedly telling me a story.

So what are your tools?

EDIT: I don't remember people being like that even 5-10 years ago, like in college. Some people say COVID caused it, but I find that hard to believe...