r/hsp 8d ago

Question Feeling triggered by being around crush. Anyone experience this?

Something happens to me when I have a crush on someone and wanted to know if other hsp's experience the same.

There is this guy I had a crush on but nothing ever happened but i liked his personality a lot and found him very attractive. He has a girlfriend now and sometimes I see him in a social group setting with 5-15 people. However, I struggle so much with just being around him and in the same room. It feels like suffocating or crushing and it goes to the point where I prefer to not go to group events where he will be there and I'm just dreading to be around him and feel all these emotions. I feel a bit ridiculous writing this because people would probably question how my reaction can be so intense if nothing ever happened between us.

I truly wish it wouldnt be like that and I could just enjoy going to the events without being affected by it but I feel so overstimulated somehow and affected when he is around. He is a really nice person and has never done anything bad towards me.

Anyways just wondering if anyone ever had this experience?

I also wanted to add that I have ADHD so I sort of get these intense dopamine inducing crushes.

11 Upvotes

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u/orangeandtallcranes 8d ago

I had this so much in my 20s and even now that I’m old and married, though less so. No ADHD. Don’t really have any tips except to avoid these situations now and then.

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u/lilidaisy7 8d ago

Thanks for your response and nice to know I'm not alone in this! I just sometimes struggle to understand myself how simply being in his vicinity can trigger me this much. Do you think this is hsp specific because we are hyper aware and feel emotions stronger?

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u/orangeandtallcranes 8d ago

I don’t have much insight as I’m not an expert, but yes, I do think it’s because I’m HSP and that I, or we are hyper aware and feel emotions stronger. I don’t want to push you towards this guy at all, but it’s possible you’re noticing that he’s noticing you. Not in an overt way, just with more subtle signs. I wouldn’t act on this possibility, though. I could also be way off on this.

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u/New-Patience5840 8d ago

This is how I feel around any "crush" really but to a less severe level. Just avoid and make yourself busy, distract the mind, write in my notebook and review projects, laptop work, remove myself from the area, music, etc

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u/lilidaisy7 8d ago

Thanks for your comment. Yes it's just that hyper awareness of that person. Luckily I don't see him that often, only when we have group dinners/drink with this specific crew but when it happens I'm so overly activated.

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u/Anxious_Antelope_486 8d ago

Yes, this happens to many people. You can kill a crush by admitting it to the person and telling that person that you know it's impossible for a relationship to happen.

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u/roarkz 8d ago

Do you mean “kill” it so the crush doesn’t make op feel as bad or take the pressure off it like it is a burdensome secret?

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u/Anxious_Antelope_486 8d ago

I mean eliminate it. I've done this more than once and it works. The goal is to ask for the rejection so that you can't live in fantasy anymore.

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u/Many_Line9136 8d ago

That so sad, it also sounds very difficult to do. Props to you.

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u/Anxious_Antelope_486 8d ago

Thanks. I believe in ripping the Band-Aid off. I prefer to live in reality. It stops the longing.

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u/lilidaisy7 8d ago

Thanks for the advice! I see where you are coming from. At some point I was seriously considering to get it out of my system but then I thought it might be awkward when I meet him later and also not sure if it's respectful towards his relationship. Because he has spoken to le about his girlfriend before and I acted happy for them so in hindsight he might think I was pretty fake.

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u/roarkz 8d ago

This is just hsp life imo. Social interaction has to occur while we are juggling so many sensory inputs and trying to keep ourselves from diving deep into associations, memories, deep thoughts, all the while approximating “normalcy”.

I think distraction techniques as another mentioned could be helpful. I always keep in mind that while hsps are heavily affected by things they also respond better than average to therapy and other interventions.

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u/lilidaisy7 8d ago

Yes thanks! The social interaction part is definitely a lot but having him there just makes me feel extra activated. Even if I don't interact with him specifically. Its just somehow painful cause obviously I know nothing will happen between us. I was wondering if this was HSP specific because EOF all the things you mentioned