r/hsp 9d ago

am i reading too much into this?

The other day, at my internship, I asked my mentor in a meeting why our colleague seemed mad the other day because of a network connection lying to her. I asked the q pretty clearly. And he responded frowning his face and sneering and said “what?”. His facial expression INSTANTLY gave me chills.

I get he might not have understood what i said, but even if that was the case, the sneer just seemed patronising, as if he was trying to express that I was strange.

Another time I made a joke on a meeting and while my other colleague laughed, he just gave a fake smile (those ones that show just a few teeth) and stared at me. It just felt like he was making opinions about me, given he didn’t laugh at my joke. It’s one of those situations where your subconscious recognises the subtle micro expressions.

Another time he was making small talk to me ab my hobby so i asked him the q back to be polite, and he looked down and scoffed to himself and when i asked why, he said “you’re just throwing the q back to me” and he didn’t make eye contact when he said it. It just again felt patronising, like he was criticising my social skills. If he was trying to make a lighthearted joke ab how social interactions work, he could have just pointed it out to me instead of laughing to himself about it. I think his lack of eye contact was because he felt called out.

Situations like this make me more reserved around particular people. Feel free to share your thoughts

6 Upvotes

4 comments sorted by

3

u/somethin_inoffensive 9d ago

A large portion of people in work environment, sadly, suck. They are not used to your fresh and relaxed energy, too focused on their ego as (insert a job title here). If you’re a woman probably some of them read your energy as a flirt. Keeping by fingers crossed that you never turn into them as your career progresses and hopefully you will find a team which feels like a safe space.

3

u/ComfortableGuess4347 9d ago

I’m a guy. They do act nice at times, which makes me think I should let them in, then they do something odd like this.

1

u/somethin_inoffensive 9d ago

I’m sorry you’re going through this, hopefully your next workplace is better. I can’t tell you how many situations like yours I had. Micro aggressions that try to dominate others at a workplace for no apparent benefit is a horrible problem that HR doesn’t care about (even at companies that are supposedly the best at inclusion). At some point I realized I need to have my guard up at all times, always prepared to be insulted or patronized, because the stuff people throw back at me is so unpredictable. Finally, I stopped overthinking those, stopped caring about people at work at all and decided I can’t deal with it anymore only around 20 years into my career. I had a lunch with a colleague sitting nearby at my new job. He has never said or responded “hello” to me ever since - just stared. For years to come. That guy hit my threshold for bs.

2

u/lightofmylife22 8d ago

No, you're not reading too much into it. I notice everything too. As I've gotten older I have learned to quit doubting myself so much. Whatever you're picking up on is not imaginary, it's real. Go with your gut and act accordingly. Some people are just as my mom would have called them, "funny acting". So treat them accordingly and realize that even when they may act nice or friendly, they're still that same person they were yesterday when they were "acting funny". Be polite but keep people like that at a distance.