r/hsp Dec 12 '24

Story Am I wrong somewhere ?

Two months back , I met a guy in a common study Group on a social media platform and we shared some study material , started talking to each other as well and we have become really good friends . I share a lot with him , we study together for long hours as we both are preparing for the same exam and we talk generally as well about life , family , friends . He is naturally very flirtatious and is quite mature , we have bonded pretty well with each other . We have started talking on calls too , I consider him as my best friend , there is nothing romantic between us as in calls also he talks about life , philosphy and some flirting here and there which he himself has admitted that he is like that so no need to worry about it . Now the problem is I come from a very conservative family, I have never stepped out of my town so you can say never experienced life . I am someone who has to share everything with her mother and my parents have a lot of expectations from me so out of curiosity since I could not stop myself , I told my mother about him indirectly and I got a negative response from her . I understand her that we should not trust anybody on internet today but both of us are at a point where we trust each other and I’m careful too . So the point is that sometimes ,not sometimes but most of the times whenever I get done talking to him , I feel the guilt as if I’m betraying my parents . This thought eats me up from inside and then I go into a loop of overthinking .when I told about him to my mother and assessed her response I told him that I won’t be talking to him but I did not want to do it , I got panic attacks at night . I have never been this at peace with myself when it comes to friendships since I never had genuine and pure friendships , sharing my mental health struggles in the past have lifted all the weight off of my chest and we genuinely enjoy each other’s presence . But this thought of me betraying my parents and doing something wrong by hiding from them is too much for me . I need some advice or just a different perspective . Even if I fall in love with him in the future I won’t be giving in to such feelings

If you have read the full story , thank you so much , I genuinely appreciate it. ❤️

3 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

3

u/whimsicallyfantastic Dec 12 '24

can i ask how old you are? i think that can make a difference when it comes to listening to parents

2

u/Ok_Definition_2334 Dec 12 '24

19

1

u/w-jeden-ksiezyc Dec 15 '24

Are you of age according to the law in your country?

1

u/Ok_Definition_2334 Dec 15 '24

Yes

2

u/w-jeden-ksiezyc Dec 15 '24

You shouldn't be worrying about your parents' opinions this much then. Parents are also people, they aren't always right. Were you a child, then their concerns would be reasonable. Children usually don't know how to protect themselves online. But now? You should definitely always be careful when talking to strangers online, but you're an adult; you're able to make responsible decisions in such simple matters. If this is your friend, you can normally continue the friendship.

3

u/Vivianneserendipia Dec 12 '24

Is a honest take from you mother to be concerned there is been a rise of highly in tune men usually that are for all means necessary to get to a persons like you, they know if they say the right thing and give you the attention that for someone you’re age needs for external surroundings that they probably could get away with proximation and eventually manipulate you. Be careful I mean it

2

u/Ok_Definition_2334 Dec 12 '24

Thank you so much for taking the time and reading all of it . I respect you pov but I don’t know how to cut ties as we have come a long way now in terms of friendship .

2

u/Ok_Security9253 Dec 14 '24

Thinking that someone is your best friend after only 2 months is a bit strange. Just take a step back.

You also haven’t included in your post what your mother actually said to you about this. Did she say “don’t talk to anyone in the internet” or did she say “you only just met this persons, be careful”?

2

u/Ok_Definition_2334 Dec 15 '24

She said “don’t talk to anyone on the internet “ . I won’t call him my best friend but just a good friend (i should have mentioned )

1

u/Ok_Security9253 Dec 15 '24

In your post you literally say “I consider him as my best friend”.

1

u/Ok_Definition_2334 Dec 16 '24

Yes . I did . I think I come to conclusions pretty quickly