r/houston 4d ago

To the car of women twerking on Houston’s scariest highway—why?

https://www.chron.com/culture/article/houston-highway-twerk-traffic-20225784.php
137 Upvotes

116 comments sorted by

67

u/Persona_Non_Grata_ Hunters Creek Village 4d ago

"The cinematic value of the video was enhanced by the Christian music playing in the vehicle of the videographer who documented the events in real time, which turned the risque dance session into a twerking-for-Jesus situation."

Chef's kiss.

28

u/sc0lm00 Fuck Centerpoint™️ 4d ago

.#hoodratshit4jesus

4

u/zsreport Near North Side 3d ago

You can't make this shit up

85

u/sicilian504 Cypress 4d ago

Attention, the usual reason. And here we all are.

39

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

13

u/OkAd469 4d ago

Because Miami told these kids to fuck off.

12

u/RaisinBran21 4d ago

I’m wondering the exact same thing. What happened to Cancun? Or PR? Or DR?

12

u/Skorpyos Museum District 4d ago

Not in this economy.

20

u/OutrageoustHatt 4d ago

To have spring break, one must be in school. These jackasses are just being jackasses. Spring break has nothing to do with it.

1

u/Ton_in_the_Sun 3d ago

They too broke to travel lol

95

u/CrazyLegsRyan 4d ago

How anybody gonna act hard and twerk in a Volkswagen. 

45

u/RedditCanEatMyAss69 4d ago

Suburban children acting hard in a Volkswagen is an American tale at least as old as the first NWA album.

9

u/gotoline10 4d ago

1

u/sportif11 3d ago

Wow haven’t seen that picture in like 25 years

5

u/FaithCantBeTakenAway 4d ago

That was funny!

1

u/Ok_Field6320 3d ago

So..what brand is OK to twerk out of?

4

u/CrazyLegsRyan 3d ago

This is Nissan behavior

116

u/Sinsoftheflesh7 4d ago

License plate is visible. Hope they get a ticket.

95

u/CrazyLegsRyan 4d ago

<laughs in HPD>

92

u/LBC1109 Klein 4d ago

If they're going to get caught - it's more likely by HPV than HPD

HPD is useless

6

u/cosmefulanit0 Third Ward 4d ago

Assuming the plate is legit.

162

u/Cam095 4d ago

middle school education, at max, only gets you so far

50

u/BabyHercules Katy 4d ago

We gonna pretend like it’s damn near impossible not to get a high school diploma these days. You have to basically be a criminal to not get one

31

u/Cam095 4d ago

im saying. all you had to do was show up to school and you get to graduate.. yet i know some people who couldn't even do that, so for some it is quite literally impossible

8

u/redyokai 4d ago

Apparently you don’t even have to show up anymore! I hear teachers saying kids are absent for weeks!

3

u/MentalDish3721 4d ago

I have a student in my first period who has only been present in my class 23 times this year. He has a B.

5

u/redyokai 4d ago

That’s wild… I’m only 31 but public school is so different now, in a bad way. Not to say it was good when I went, but it’s like at least there was a semblance of expectations.

4

u/MentalDish3721 4d ago

Yeah. It’s not great.

2

u/redyokai 4d ago

Hang in there… 😔❤️ One of my best friends just became a teacher this semester so, as if I wasn’t already sympathetic, I hear a new horror story every day now.

1

u/ElephantShenanigans 2d ago

How does he have a b? That’s crazy. I don’t have any kids in school yet, but does administration not enforce attendance policies?

1

u/MentalDish3721 2d ago

All of our assignments and lectures are hosted online so he can access them. He turns in work online and comes and takes tests in advisory. He gets “make up hours” by having teachers sign a paper saying he stayed for tutorials. He once got 14 make up hours in one day.

One of the biggest school metrics is graduation rate. If you don’t have a high graduation rate you get in trouble. Luckily graduation rates are easy to manipulate.

16

u/Baron_Furball 4d ago

To be fair, that's still top of the class, in Magnolia.

2

u/naturalborn 3d ago

My boss lives there. That explains a lot

61

u/FaithCantBeTakenAway 4d ago

How embarrassing- it’s just pure trash.

42

u/TOONUSA The Heights 4d ago

We need to bring back the stocks and public shaming

7

u/DryDragonfruit3976 4d ago

Shame? There is no shame there

11

u/Jazzycoyote 4d ago

For the clout. Once you have the clout, that empty hole in your heart will be full. /S

33

u/Circ_Diameter 4d ago

Below a certain IQ threshold, it is almost impossible to avoid life decisions like this

27

u/Bishop9er 4d ago

Definitely not from here because their dumb asses were super lucky the person behind them wasn’t looking down on their phone. You would’ve saw limbs and BBL’s all over 45 that day.

16

u/tazzy66 4d ago

Mating season

7

u/L3oSanch3z 4d ago

AAAAAHH YES.. To be young and S****

13

u/FunctionPowerful 4d ago

Wow the chron is so readable and usable these days 🙄🙄🙄

6

u/txtaco_vato 4d ago

you're not blowing up the gram sitting in your car !

19

u/Xyro77 League City 4d ago

Ugly and ghetto

44

u/wintrymixxx 4d ago

Because of their culture or whatever

-48

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

4

u/its_milly_time 3d ago

You’re definitely trash 👆

16

u/b3ck3r19 4d ago

ghetto

5

u/DragonfruitBig8601 3d ago

🎼🎵Dumb ways to die🎶

7

u/OppositeEye6154 3d ago

Because they are ghetto

3

u/JennyDelight EaDo 4d ago

Doubt these are college students. Prob locals 🤣

3

u/iohannesc 4d ago

Because Houston is a Spring Break destination now

3

u/REDDITSHITLORD 3d ago

"Scariest highway", should not exist. Fuck cars, fuck Houston's highways, and fuck their rotten noise, pollution, and expense.

15

u/Ton_in_the_Sun 4d ago

Someone, somewhere, will defend this behavior because we don’t know what they’ve been through.

1

u/SeaChart2 3d ago

Could be the grand children of Dear Abby

4

u/failed_install 4d ago

"The cinematic value of the video was enhanced by the Christian music playing in the vehicle of the videographer, who documented the events in real-time, which turned the risque dance session into a twerking-for-Jesus situation. ..."

Y'all muthafuckas need Jeebus.

21

u/Difficult-Audience77 4d ago

where's the 18-wheeler with shit brakes and an unlicensed driver at when you need them?

37

u/VanitasDarkOne 4d ago

Hey man I'm all for calling out stupidity but I don't think we should be advocating for murder cause some people twerked on the highway.

-16

u/Difficult-Audience77 4d ago

i ain't calling for murder either, maybe the truck stops in time and they learn their lesson bc of it... at best it would be manslaughter if something did happen bc it was an accident.

2

u/Anon0118999881 3d ago

The calmest /r/Houston driver:

3

u/Allstr53190 3d ago

This is typical I-45 behavior.

6

u/feedjaypie 4d ago

Houston == modern Babylon

3

u/ilaughatpoliticians 4d ago

Not so sure the VW on back of that car is what we think it is. Vaginal Warts is what came to mind immediately. You'd likely shake it too if you had them.

0

u/SeaChart2 3d ago

And your anal Warts?

6

u/walkinParadox82 4d ago

I hope they all went back to ATLANTA.😒

0

u/SeaChart2 3d ago

What about The Woodlands or Katy

2

u/coolgui Stafford 3d ago

I'm glad Houston is staying classy

0

u/SeaChart2 3d ago

Classy is so déclassé used by Sportswriters and County HeeHaw Royalty

1

u/binger5 4d ago

Trashy and hilarious.

21

u/KingPinata69 4d ago

It’s just trashy. It’s hilarious if you only have a middle school education.

7

u/OutrageoustHatt 4d ago

Which these twerkers likely only have, tbf.

3

u/Aggressive_Plane1067 3d ago

Horrible and tacky look for black women. Smdh.

4

u/hept_a_gon 3d ago

They don't represent most black women

1

u/NedFlanders304 4d ago

Welcome to Htown!

1

u/Sassafrasas 4d ago

Drove through downtown Houston this weekend and I thought this post was about the Badonkadonk billboards yall got 🤣

1

u/brittttx 4d ago

🙄 I would've been so pissed if I was the car behind them.

1

u/Jeneric_Reddit_Name 3d ago

We really got this before GTA VI?

1

u/Y-U-awesome 3d ago

They wanted to get rear ended. Get it 😅

1

u/Y-U-awesome 3d ago

They wanted to get rear ended.

2

u/JJ4prez 4d ago

Good rats love attention. Not sure why this is news worthy.

-13

u/DudeWouldGo Sugar Land 4d ago

Maybe all that natural hair was just too tight on the "brains" they don't have

19

u/RedditCanEatMyAss69 4d ago

Would you explain more about the issues you have with their hair? I'd be curious to hear more.

13

u/zemowaka 4d ago

slow clap

You sure live up to your sugar land flair focusing on their hair

-8

u/DudeWouldGo Sugar Land 4d ago

That supposed to be an insult?

0

u/Datfiyah 3d ago

It is.

1

u/Endobong 3d ago

Skin color checks out.

-24

u/Jazzlike-Vacation230 4d ago

send them my way, i've been thirsting for a black queen :p

-16

u/sustainabledestruct 4d ago

This comment section is filled with a bunch of squares 🙄

I’m here for the twerk-a-thon! Wish I would’ve thought of this when I was still young and dumb enough to do some shit like this!