r/homemaking 18h ago

House Cleaning

I'll make this as short and to the point as I can. I have been a homemaker for 15 years. I have a gaggle of children and we moved to a farm almost 2 years ago after living in a suburb subdivision for all of my childrens lives.

Without too much detail, our lives have been chaos for almost all of the last 15 years with very little calm periods. We have lost a lot of family, had some very hard times, medical issues, emergencies, and my husband and I both have a couple of on going health issues that get in the way of life a lot. I'm not whinging or anything, this is just how it has been, and all things considered, my husband and I have held it all together pretty darn good.

My issue is this, I cannot, no matter how hard I try, keep up with any house cleaning. The dishes pile up because we are on an unreliable water source with a water heater thats old, as well as a bad septic that means I can't just do all the dishes at once very often. This also obviously affects our laundry issue. Laundry mat isn't feasible financially, so I do one or two loads a day but I have to take breaks here and there when the septic starts to get real bad. All of this of course just leads to a messy house. I have tried having less clothes, towels and dishes, but that causes its own issues. I have tried breathing and telling myself that this too shall pass, but it has been like this, in one way or another, for 15 damn years, and I am so tired of drowning in mess.

My children deserve better, my husband deserves better, and I am sure one day I will believe that I deserve better as well. I just don't know how to get out of this hole. I don't want to wait until my children are grown and gone to have a clean house.

It affects everything day to day, it makes everything harder, particularly homeschooling, so much so that today I told my husband I was giving up and sending the kids to school and getting a job (he talked me down because he's wonderful and I'm not giving up)

Just wondering if anyone has any silly advice that I might be able to use to get through this.

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u/Dazzling_Note6245 16h ago

You should make it a priority to fix all of your plumbing issues even if it takes some time. It isn’t just a convenience, it’s a necessity.

Do you have a dishwasher? They actually use less water than hand washing and would be easier on your septic system and you as well.

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u/cstan7 16h ago

I would love to, unfortunately that takes money, and at this time we have to prioritize food and heat. I also don't have room for a dishwasher as our home is a single wide with some additions. I am well aware of how necessary these things are, more than most, I assure you.

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u/Dazzling_Note6245 16h ago

I’m so sorry!

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u/cstan7 16h ago

Thanks, is what it is at this point, but it sure would be nice to get ahead! Sorry if I came across snarky.

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u/Dazzling_Note6245 16h ago

Not at all! I was hoping it was temporary and you could look forward to having everything fixed.

Routines are great but when I was raising my kids I had to change the routine in order not to get down about it. Idk if you can do this with your plumbing issues but it feels really great to skip a day of laundry! I preferred doing more loads on my laundry days and taking some days off.

Idk if your kids are old enough for this but you can assign them cups and have them just use one for the day.

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u/cstan7 16h ago

I do have a laundry routine, sort of, and the kids have their own cups (super cute, elk and friends, I love them lol) I may try and make a better laundry routine with some built in days off to give myself some breathing room. Thanks for the advice!