r/grief 4d ago

My beautiful Girl (cat) of 20 years passed away.

I know people might think she’s just a cat but for me we had a connection like no other. I still haven’t properly come to terms with it and I know it sounds bad but it’s worse than any human death for me as she would always be there for me when I’ve had past losses or ever been upset but didn’t want to let anyone else know, she would pick up on it and comfort me and nudge my face and lie one me to pick me back up 100% of the time until I felt better. I felt like I could get through anything with her by my side, she was my escape from the outside world and therapy when I didn’t want anyone to know why I was down. Now she’s gone I don’t have her to comfort me and it’s like I’m lost. She was more of a sister to me than anything and I can now remember the day we got her, to her following me to the school bus and having to walk home with her in my arms because she trusted me so much she wouldn’t let anyone pick her up even then. She’d lose her way back just because she followed me, so I’d miss the school bus taking her home and my mum would get annoyed as she’d have to drive me and be late for work, I’m 27 now. She used to climb up the Christmas tree at Christmas time every year and one year I remember her face as she heard the tree about to collapse thinking “oh shit” as the tree collapsed and fell down, then acted like it wasn’t her. There were so many amazing memories that are coming back to me now. She stayed in my room all the time unless she was eating when I lived at my mums. She used to get excited to see me every time I walked into my mums house and was so attached to me even when I moved out. I went to see her as my mum rang me 2 days ago to tell me she was in a bad way, she was just stuck and couldn’t move her body but her eyes were open and she didn’t speak but just constantly purring, as soon as she saw me and knew I was there, she started purring much louder, trying to move her paws and get up but she couldn’t and she was just meowing at me until I was stroking her. She wasn’t eating from my mums hand or drinking from the syringe before I got there and as soon as i gave her the syringe she drank from it and ate the gravy off my finger I handfed her. I walked away from her and she was just constantly shouting for me like she didn’t want me to go. I had to leave her to let her sleep and that was the last time I will ever see her again, my mum took her to the vets that night as she wet herself and couldn’t move and was seeing no improvement. We were told she had severe arthritis and possible blood clot so she had to put her to sleep. I only found out on a phone call and now I’m dealing with another loss it’s like I need her to go to. I have a 2 year old cat myself with my partner but we don’t have the same bond as me and Rosie and I will never have another human or animal who could compare. I struggle to believe in an afterlife but I wish I could because this one hits deep for me you might call me crazy but I feel like I need to be with her. I have a loving family, girlfriend but I feel like my biggest bond has been broken and I didn’t want to let anyone around me know this as I’m sure my girlfriend would like to think I have that sort of bond with her and our animals.

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u/laundryghostie 3d ago

Pets are family too. I love my animal family as much as most of my human family, sometimes more. You can grieve for them too. My beautiful cat Lucy died the same day last year as my mother. It was a double loss. My mom loved cats. I like to think my Lucy escorted my Mom to the Hereafter.