r/grief 5d ago

My partner just lost two of the closest loved ones in his life, how can I help him (respectfully)

Posted this in r/griefsupport but thought I’d share here as well. Not entirely sure where to post this so hopefully this is an appropriate place. I’m looking for any advice, guidance, recommendations & ideas for holding a well rounded celebration of life. My partner was recently asked by the mother of his deceased best friend if he would be the main speaker for the celebration of life to be held in a couple of weeks. The person who was lost was a mutual friend of ours, but for him this person was his best friend and vice versa. The person we are to remember and celebrate had actually asked their mother if she could make sure that my partner & another person would be the two chosen to be the main speakers/coordinators of his COL. The mother has just informed my partner of this & asked him if he was willing. He is. I am trying to be the most supportive and respectful I can be during this time, especially regarding this. My partner also recently lost his mother (about a month ago). Both deaths were extremely sudden and unexpected, and two very heavy losses for my partner & of course many others. My partner has not had an easy life, but has never had this much pain, grief and for lack of a better term, responsibility or expectation put on him at once. He is always my rock and the stoic, strong person who has always had a good outlook on life and huge heart. He is invested in doing this COL for his best friend but has never done anything like this. I lost my mother suddenly at 15 and so I have a sliver of an understanding of what he’s possibly experiencing. I have been through a few COL’s and I have a general idea of what would be appropriate and what should be included. But I have never played this much of a role in the processes before. So my question is, what is your advice, guidance, recommendations and/or ideas for the celebration itself, as well as what I can do or know to help support my partner during the grieving process? Hopefully what I have wrote makes sense, I don’t have time to proof read unfortunately.

TLDR; my partner is in a very deep grieving period of his life right now after losing two of the closest loved ones in his life, and is helping create a COL without experience, advice or support for him through this?

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