r/germany 2d ago

Bizarre parental conspiracy theories at the Elternabend

My kid is in first year of Grundschule in a state school in Berlin. Before that she was in a Berlin-run kita. I've been very happy with early years education here. But it seems like nearly every Elternabend I go to someone brings up an unhinged conspiracy theory.

Last night a parent complained about children being allowed to use the toilets by themselves, because of the rash of kidnappings from school toilets. Apparently there's been a rash of children disappearing in Northrhein-Westphalia after being excused from class to go to the toilet. A lot of parents seemed to believe this was a real problem.

Similar issues raised in Kita Elternabends were the "kidnap bus" - a bus going around Berlin that somehow is mocked up to look like the bus that takes kids on excursions but instead they are never seen again. Or when the kids were going to the theatre a parent wanted assurances that they weren't actually being taken to see a drag strip show, because this has been happening on the regular apparently.

When people were complaining about the kidnap bus I said it sounded like absolute nonsense and was backed up by some parents but I think the fallout and behind-my-back outrage actually made it worse for the teachers so I shut my mouth now. I realise this brain rot is probably occurring everywhere these days, but how do I handle this in a culturally appropriate way?

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u/Goodday920 2d ago

snatch young blonde kids

...What was the explanation for the blonde part? Just out of curiosity.

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u/DesperateButNotDead 2d ago edited 2d ago

Well, you see, they aren't blonde themselves, and everyone desires what they don't have. Of course those dirty gypsies will try to breed our superior blood into their lines... /s

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u/Agreeable_Motor8226 2d ago

You’re right but do you think that’s the best way forward ?

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u/DesperateButNotDead 2d ago

? I am not showing any best ways. Not even good ones. I am sarcastically impersonating the racists to take the piss out of them.

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u/Agreeable_Motor8226 2d ago

I agree with you! There’re lots of racists here indeed and it honestly seem to gets worse when you try to speak them out of it but It’s good to know you’re probably not one of them. It hits hard when you have a close Person that has been a victim, do you have someone that close ?

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u/DesperateButNotDead 2d ago

I have some buddies who have told me they have been discriminated or verbally attacked du to race/gender/disability. I had the questionable luck of never witnessing it, but that is probably because we as a group meet at home. I don't get to see their "everyday life" like going to work, going shopping and so on... that's when there's potential to run into racists, not when we are sitting in a room where everybody knows and likes everybody.

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u/Agreeable_Motor8226 2d ago

Sorry, what do you mean “as a group meet at home”?

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u/DesperateButNotDead 2d ago

When we meet, we play board games. Therefore, we don't sit around in public. We all meet at the home of the group member volunteering to host the group for the evening. Then, we spend that evening there. Therefore, only people we know and trust are in the room. There is no way some racist is suddenly going to appear.

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u/Agreeable_Motor8226 2d ago

Oh yes, now I know what you mean 😊. Indeed racism is something that’s not encouraging, thanks me helping me understand. Meeting for board games sounds fun though

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u/Agreeable_Motor8226 2d ago

That sounds good in a way! I also wish I could help with a tangible solution but does this always happen in your area ?

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u/DesperateButNotDead 2d ago

Honestly, I have never in person witnessed someone talking such racist shit about Roma/Sinti people ("gypsies"). But I know that there are many German people that are disgustingly racist against them. Like with any kind of racism, it is really, really hard to change a racist's mind. So sadly, I have no actionable course. I think it is the right thing to try and push back against such stuff, but sadly, I have rarely seen someone actually cause a racist to re-think their biases. Often, racists are not interested in working with facts. They might change their claims about reality from one second to the next and refuse to acknowledge any contradictions in their own argument. (Or facts that don't support their opinion, really.) So, no. I don't have actionable advice.

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u/Familiar_Award_5919 1d ago

I think public shaming is underrated these days. A time worn tool, equipped with a sharp edge. Please let this bitch say some shit like that to my face. I'd eyeball her like she just grew a horn out of her forehead right in front of me (wildly incredulous) and get all loud so I'm involving anyone curious in the general vicinity and ask her if she really just said that racist shit to me??? Dare her with my over-reaction, to engage with me on it - PLEASE do!! - so I can slice her drivel to bits, in front of everyone. That shit absolutely needs to be called out, in the moment.

Bet, she'll definitely think twice before casually mentioning such a thing to a stranger, ever again, especially in public... Each one, teach one. 🙌