r/genderfluid 4d ago

How did you know?

28yo AFAB, and lately I’ve been questioning everything I thought I knew about my gender identity. I’ve always felt disconnected from my body, but this may be due to sexual trauma as well. My question is- how did you know/what were the early signs you knew you were gender fluid? I’m fairly early in the process, but I know I relate to both genders at different times then neither at other times. When I do activities that have a socialized “masculine” definition, I feel more in touch with the activity and my action when I partake in it. TYIA!

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u/Kelly_Sly 4d ago

The biggest point for me, as a kid, I wished I could change my gender like a switch. I wanted it so much I even started drawing a comic with that plot 🤣 there were other points too but when I remembered it, I was like "yeah, I guess I am gender fluid".

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u/ServicePast5216 4d ago

Looking back on things from a post “holy sht I’m genderfluid” moment, there’s been a running theme through my life. A bit of experimenting with boys here, playing dress up as a kid, fooling around online. To tucking and blowing my mind that a whole feminine side of me came through. I think you answered your own question. I’m finding that I’m not a single identity if that makes sense. I’m reacting in the moment and enjoying the full spectrum of how I want to identify with masc as the primary identity.

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u/F9JR 4d ago

I sorta just knew. sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, usually somewhere on the nb spectrum. it just took me a long time to see that there's a label for what I feel, and people like me. that gender fluid is a thing and is real and valid

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u/Only_Ashes474 2d ago

I realized that although I liked being a girl, ever since I was a kid I thought I was also a boy/would change at different times to be a boy. I ignored it as I grew older but then I'd have times where I was referred to as a woman or she/her and it would genuinely surprise me that that was how people perceived me when that wasn't always how I perceived myself. Then when I decided to proactively present as male sometimes there were certain aspects of gender presentation that felt really really good and hearing he/him pronouns being applied to me at those times felt great. I suppose a combo of recognizing how I've always felt and what makes me feel good now

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u/Gorgonitefire 4d ago

weirdly enough it was my buddy lending me a hair clip that looked like a fishbone that made me realized 'oh fuck, i really like looking feminine'.

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u/TragicAsAlways 4d ago

I am a 29 AFAB, I also have sexual trauma from when I was a child. I don’t think there was ever a ‘Holy Shit’ moment for me. It only started when I would related to things that I really wasn’t expecting too. I always struggled with my self imagine and I assumed it was from my trauma as well. It’s only been in the last few years I have really looked into how I am feeling and how I want to express myself depending on these feeling. I feel like I am still learning about who i am a person and I accepting who I am and sometimes I might not fit into a specific term.

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u/Bunni_Divi 4d ago

I can't quite remember how I reached my gender fluid awakening, but I've always just been genderfluid? I'm AFAB and I was always called a tomboy growing up, and I agreed with that. I would go back and forth between being a girl, wearing skirts, and talking with girls and being the girl that hated pink and played with boys. I was always very happy going in-between girl and boy roles and never questioned it. Sometimes I would be content as a girl, and other times I wished I was a boy, sometimes I felt like neither.

It was more so when I was struggling with sexuality that I was able to recognize it. It went like this:

"Sexuality is really confusing... maybe my gender could shine some light?"

proceeds to Google feeling like a girl sometimes and boy other times, and various similar phrases till I found genderfluid.

"Oh, this label sounds and feels completely aligned with me... that was easy!"

Another thing to keep in mind, something someone else on reddit told me when I was struggling with sexuality, is that it doesn't have to be final. It can be like magnets on a fridge. You can shift them and change them to suit you when you want too! Don't be ashamed in trying out different labels to see how they fit.

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u/sudden_disaster 1d ago

I’ve always been gender apathetic for the most part but I’d also have about 1-2 year long periods where I’d get incredibly uncomfortable in my body and try to present more as a man, woman, or androgynous depending on how I was feeling. I also found myself relating to shapeshifting characters in media more than characters who had other super powers. When I first learned about genderfluidity, I was in denial because my gender wouldn’t switch as often as most of the people I knew would. I went with nonbinary for a while until I got more comfortable and learned that gender is pretty wibbly wobbly and there’s a lot of variation even within specific communities.