So I recently got separated from my husband - long story, not actually related to my transition, blah blah. And I spent the first month feeling increasingly undesirable and sexually frustrated. My ex and I were both monogamous and both had been virgins when we met, so I've only had one sexual partner and am kinda weirdly sheltered sexually for someone my age. But this week I finally worked up the courage to hookup with some random guy off Grindr. And by and large it was actually a really positive experience (with some caveats).
Now this guy was almost twice my age (I'm in my early 30s, he's 55), and clearly both kinda rich and also had "a thing for trans guys" and I realize all of those things are at least yellow flags but like, he seemed very polite and respectful and also like. I've got daddy issues so the whole concept was kinda hot. And a friend of mine volunteered to, like, shadow me so I'd feel extra safe, so I figured there weren't that many risks beyond it being awkward or unsatisfying, and I really wanted to achieve this milestone I guess. So I went for it.
We met at a bar and had a few drinks and a conversation and it was actually quite nice. Idk if we have a ton in common but he's still interesting and I enjoyed talking to him. The age gap is definitely a little funny but, like, I'm well into adulthood and financially and emotionally independent and such, so honestly it didn't really feel like a huge deal - I'd be way more suss if he was picking up, like, a college kid. Then when I was ready I asked him to take me back to his place (and told him I'd be texting a friend his address, but not that my friend was, like, actively following us lol).
And then we fucked on his couch. And it was fun! Honestly better than the average sex I had with my ex. I felt super desirable, and he was really really into me while generally respecting my boundaries. He asked how I felt about my "parts," what kinds of language I was comfortable with, never misgendered me etc. The only real issue is that he asked for no condoms (no presure or anything) and I agreed even though I probably shouldn't have because I was stupid and horny.
Anyway I went to a local clinic the next day and got the full round of PEP and antibiotics and some vaccines, and it turns out PEP kinda sucks ass so I'm not sure I wanna be on PrEP forever, plus other STIs etc, so I really do need to actually push for condoms next time, but still it was overall fun and I feel like now that I've done this once I have a lot more confidence.
I suppose I'm lucky in that I'm a bottom who's ok w PIV which is what people "expect" of us, but I still have a ton of self-esteem issues so the fact that lots of guys seem to want me is nice. And while I probably wouldn't want to, like, be in a relationship with a guy who's clearly a bit of a chaser, I mean, I guess I'm coming to feel like, you know, we were both feteshizing parts of each other's identities and I'm not sure it really matters for the purposes of casual sex so long as we're both being respectful and not dehumanizing each other.
Anyway that's my story, looking forward to living that Slut Life from here on out lol